seven month old regressing...what is going on?

[Heathcliffscathy]

don't know how to explain this: we've gone from 3 meals a day and four milk feeds, all very happy and successful, to seven month old ds starting to refuse anything that isn't sweet (he only has fruit, has never had added sugar) or avocado. yesterday and today he got himself into such a state so quickly that he wouldn't take anything at all (i never try to force things, but have found in the past that if i leave it for a bit and try again, he will take something that he has refused). only breastfeeding would pacify him. and just now he breastfed in a comfort sucking way for ages, and nearly fell asleep like that. he always falls asleep in his cot from awake, the last thing in the world i want is for him to start needing feeding to go to sleep...what the hell is going on? i feel so depressed about this, i don't know how to make it ok again or what has made it go like this. his behaviour is so weird. or maybe it's me and i'm missing something here. we've both had a cold (but getting better now) and he is teething, but he has two teeth through already and has never done this before...help someone...

[CountessDracula]

don't worry sophable, they go through phases like this. dd would love something one minute and hate it the next. She would also go through whole weeks hardly eating a thing and then eat for England the next week.

Re the feeding to sleep, maybe he is still feeling ill or as you say teething. They do need extra comfort then. Dd always gets into bad bedtime habits when she's ill and has to be re-trained effectively when better.

Is he old enough for finger food? (sorry can't remember when this starts - pathetic isn't it!!) Try giving him some toast or cold sticks of cucumber to chew on if he is. He may just want to have a go himself.

[Heathcliffscathy]

i am a bad mother cd. am so pissed off that i've left him in his cot crying just so that i can breath iykwim. he doesn't deserve this. but i don't know what to do for him...basically i should have him at my tit for an hour shouldn't i? just thought i'd left all that behind...f8ck

[paradise]

hi sophable

sorry to hear that your depressed about your ds. It sounds to me like your doing a great job, it really is a matter of trial and error, (in my experience anyway) Maybe he fell asleep on you because he was tired and a bit frazzled from trying new foods? I know this may sound silly, but just try and go with the flow and keep trying, in a few months he'll be eating all sorts!!

[maomao]

Oh, sophable, poor you! Don't be discouraged! Mine (now 12 mo) also went thru phases (still does) where she doesn't eat anything that she normally likes. We also went thru a "sweet eating" phase, and I just went along with it, feeding her mostly orange food at that time --- roasted sweet potato, carrots, etc. As CD and paradise also said, if ds has been unwell, he will want the extra comfort of bfing, too.

[webmum]

sophable

if teething didn't bother him first time, it doesn't mean evry tooth will be the same...maybe this time it is bothering him more.

Or he could be coming down with something and just wants the extra comfort that b'feeding gives him.

DD is already 3, but when she's really tired or unwell all she wants is milk.

How long has this been going on? You may found it's only a passing phase, one of the many they got through!!

Good luck and try not to get too depressed, go out, meet a friend, sometimes a change of scenery is good for both you and baby. And if he still wants to b'feed fpr an hour, at least you can laugh about it with someone else!!

[motherinferior]

He sounds a bit poorly to me, combined maybe with some more teeth.

[Chandra]

Mine has stoped eating anything at all when teething, the last tooth had him having only 2 bottles a day and no food at all for 4 days. I though he was going to dehidrated, the GP said he would be fine and manyn mumsneters said the same, and eventhough I hated to be told that, they were right at the end...

[Heathcliffscathy]

i gave him some milk and finally i think he may have gone to sleep for a nap...after an hour of trying to get him to (he is knackered. and if he doesn't sleep now, no chance will he sleep tonight). dh is out tonight, which is typical. my sister is away. i feel so alone in this. every bloody time i think things are cool, something else happens...and i know that is the way it's going to be forever now. i'm so tired of waking up at 6am and knowing that any minute ds will be awake. i know i'm lucky that he sleeps at night. i love him more than life. but i'm so sick and tired today. doesn't help that i've been ill...so no doubt my perspective will return sometime soon. am v down and i know that i don't have anything to be down about in the scheme of things...which makes it worse

[Piffleoffagus]

mine have gone through phases like this, at the moment is is anything warm that is being turned away...
usually coincides with teething in our house...
I just added fruit to small amount of savoury and woed her back that way, latly she has refused all fruit and only eaten savoury...
it is hard not to worry though, thank heaven for yoghurt in our house!

[Heathcliffscathy]

oh yeah, forgot that he won't have anything warm at all..but that's been for ages...thanks for everyone's posts. it's not easy is it this stuff???

[motherinferior]

Soph, motherhood can be truly vile

It does get better. Remember, he's still only little.

Hugs
xxxxxxx

PS my little sod I mean darling has been waking up before FIVE in the expletive MORNING, do I feel unmotherly or wot....

[twogorgeousboys]

Hi sophable - when you are still recovering from a lurgy as you are, everything is even more energy sapping than usual and you get worn out and down much more quickly (I know I do). Plus, when your usual support network of family/friends aren't around for various reasons it can feel lonely. As lots of others have said, this is more than likely a phase for ds. Have had many similar times with my two, when I've felt that the routine I worked so hard to achieve goes completely out of the window.

It could well be that the teeth coming through now are more bothersome than before.

At times like this I've got the Calpol out, kept offering food and milk and prayed things would sort themselves out! Usually they do.

[Heathcliffscathy]

thanks mi and tgb. am crying now. he is asleep. i've been unreasonable. he is only 7 months old ffs. i live in fear of returning to the days of no sleep. i need to let go of that. i do feel isolated today. that doesn't help. i have been ill. ditto. i'm so scared of being a bad mother. he is so wonderful and i already wonder if the times that i have let him cry for a bit have damaged him. i'm not always completely consistent. i want him to be happy and carefree and well balanced and find joy in life. i can't bear the thought that something i do might get in the way of that. he is such a lovely little boy. i just don't know what to do when i don't know how to make it ok. every day i start it thinking: 'today i'm just not going to care when he naps or what he eats, i'm going to go with the flow and not worry' and every day that doesn't happen because i need time (when he's asleep) and i know that if he doesn't sleep/eat properly, then none of us will sleep in the night. i'm just feeling sorry for myself and frankly lonely...which is an awful admission and makes me feel like a real loser.

[Clayhead]

sophable, when my ds was 7 months (he's 9 now) he caught a horrible virus off his sister and had nothing but breastmilk for around 2 weeks. I worried myself silly but he just woke up one day and started eating again and has been fine ever since.

He's never actually left the days of no sleep but those couple of weeks were worse as he was a poorly little man and wanted lots of comfort feeds and hugs but again, things got back to normal soon enough.

Teeth have affected both of mine badly and they've always been extra clingy.

Feeling lonely does not equate to being a loser! I found all of April completely lonely as first dd and then ds had this awful virus and I was unable to see any of my friends, was up all night with one or the other and couldn't leave them for a minute but I did come out the other end. Do you have anyone who you could phone for a chat?

On thing I learnt with dd is that times like this are crap, often she was different and clingy for a few days before being ill/cutting a tooth and I found it really difficult at the time but then realised why soon afterwards, IYSWIM.

Hope things get better soon x

[twogorgeousboys]

Sophable, you are a tired Mum doing the very best you can - you can't ask anymore of yourself.

YOU ARE NOT A LOSER. You are tired and it sounds like you really need some me time.

What's happening this weekend? Any chance that DH could take care of ds one of the days to give you a lie in and a rest?

[Heathcliffscathy]

god he's been asleep for over an hour now...but he did cry himself to sleep...how awful

[Chandra]

Sophable you are doing great, don't forget that everybody in the family has the right to be first in the que sometimes, if you need rest now or an evening off arrange it with DP or sister and don't feel guilty about it, he is ill now but things will be better soon.
And about living him to cry... nothing will happen, is not that he is crying all day long with nobody to answer, you are there and doing your best but if things overwhelm you sometimes, I have heard and had confimed it myself, is much better to walk out of the room than staying and show how exhasperated you are to him.

[Heathcliffscathy]

thanks chandra they should do a weak smile icon

[webmum]

sophable

why don't you go out for a bit when he wake sup?

It would do you good, I know when I ahd days like those I used to get up and go, anywhere, to see a friend if possible, or a shopping centre, failing anything else I'd just go to the supermarket, get something good for me and maybe a magazine for when dd was asleep later.

I feel terrible for you, I've been there and some days seem really hard and it doesn't help be on your own...

[Heathcliffscathy]

argh. i can't go to the supermarket...again! and now we've missed storytime at the library...will go to bookshop.

[Sunlounger]

I get like this when I've got p.m.t every month the same, I cry for a couple of days and can't cope, feel lonely the lot. Hope that does not sound patronising

[CountessDracula]

Remember Sophable, you aren't making him cry, you are allowing him to cry.

I sooo know how you feel - I remember one night when I was so exhausted with my gland. fever and shingles and dd kept waking up, dh was away, I thought to myself - hmmm, if I throw myself down the stairs and break my neck I could go to hospital, lie in bed for weeks and be waited on hand and foot and SLEEP! I am still sure that only the fact that there was no-one else there to look after dd stopped me

We all have these truly awful staring-into-the-bottom-of-a-big-black-hole-moments, they pass and you WILL get through it xx

[Heathcliffscathy]

OH MY F*CKING GOD I AM PREMENSTRUAL AND FORGOT

[CountessDracula]

Eejit!!

[CountessDracula]

(ps have never told anyone that before in case they took dd away and locked me up in a loony bin!!)