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how do I stop my 4 year old swearing???

(14 Posts)
dexy24 Thu 23-Jun-16 18:34:14

Please help. My DS4 has gone from an angelic munchkin to foul mouthed lout! I've tried everything -ignoring him, he just shouts it louder. Fuck/fucking are his swear words of choice.

I've tried suggesting that if he feels the need to say "the bad word" he says a funny word instead. I suggested snicker doodles which he has now turned in to snicker fucking doodles!hmm

I've sent him to his room, taken away TV, toys, treats.

I'm honestly at my wits end to the point where I'm in tears while he cackles and swears. I've obviously handled this all wrong but don't know how to fix it. Any MNers out there that can help?

JoJoSM2 Thu 23-Jun-16 18:55:57

Where did he get that swearing from? I've never heard 4-year-olds say things like that unless their parents set a terrible example... In which case, they need to start speaking properly themselves.

dexy24 Thu 23-Jun-16 19:01:50

When visiting his grandparents they let him play with a tablet and from what I can gather he ended up looking at a video on YouTube which his grandparents thought was Peppa Pig but in fact was a sweary version. My DS apparently has a memory like an elephant. My DP and I are both careful with our language around him, especially because he is quite observant.

MarklahMarklah Thu 23-Jun-16 19:05:23

DD has on occasion inadvertantly used swearwords. She's 5.5
We don't swear in front of her, and we limit what she watches.

When I have heard anything, I have tended to minimise by saying just "oh that's a silly rhyme" as the words are always presented in the context of a poem or song. I was going to say 'those are not nice words to use' but I think it would actually draw more attention - then she'd say it to get a reaction.

I can remember being at primary school and any child heard swearing had their mouth washed out with soap by the Head Teacher. Not advocating this as a solution to your problem!

Handsoffmysweets Thu 23-Jun-16 19:05:51

JoJo have you never said a swear word within possible earshot of your children? There are plenty of everyday situations where children could hear someone swearing. You can't control the mouths of everyone they come across.

Handsoffmysweets Thu 23-Jun-16 19:07:34

OP, I think a short sharp telling off (change in tone of voice 'the look' that sort of thing) could do the trick here.

MrsJayy Thu 23-Jun-16 19:09:26

Ignore him Just don't react and if you have to react say to him we don't say that word in our house and ignore him again it's the reaction he is getting /after

MrsJayy Thu 23-Jun-16 19:11:05

There was a 3yr old where I worked last year who put fuck t

MrsJayy Thu 23-Jun-16 19:11:43

To song*

Ankleswingers Thu 23-Jun-16 19:12:29

Ignore . It's unwanted behaviour and he will soon stop when he doesn't get a reaction from you. Just do the whole positive reinforcement thing when he does something well- works a treat.

Don't let him have the iPad at grandparents or have it unsupervised anymore.

ChocolateButton15 Thu 23-Jun-16 19:13:29

To be fair they can hear it anywhere. Mine heard a woman screaming/sweating at her kids in a shop, then repeated it word for word to another child and I don't think anyone believed my explanation. Luckily a serious telling off stopped it so I don't judge when I hear a child swear now!
What works for my simular age child is "do you think you are being good or bad when you do that?" And "you would feel sad if someone did that to you" or "mummy feels sad when you say bad words"
I wouldn't use the whole "if you need to say bad words say this" because he doesn't actually need to say bad words.
Sticking to one punishment repeatedly may work better than trying lots of different punishments as he might feel your not sticking with what you say.
I find removing mine from the situation and attention works - putting her in her room and she's not allowed out until she's calm and ready to say sorry. At first she would be in there a while screaming/crying but now tends to sulk 5 mins and say "I want to say sorry now" it's really just longing it out and showing them it doesn't matter how much they scream it's not OK to do xyz

dexy24 Thu 23-Jun-16 19:21:20

Thanks all. I think you've confirmed what I've thought all along. When it started I reacted quite strongly, telling off, timeout etc which seems to have tipped him off that using these words gets lots of attention. I should have ignored the words and he would have soon gotten bored of it. I've tried ignoring since but he keeps going until he gets the reaction he's looking for.

I suppose now I just need to bite my tongue when it happens until he gets the message that it's not causing Mummy to turn a funny purple colour anymore and hope this does the trick

MrsJayy Thu 23-Jun-16 19:24:10

Ha purple mummygrin just say to him monotone we don't say that word if you want to say something to him and keep calm he will get bored

lanbro Thu 23-Jun-16 19:26:01

My 4yo is going through a phase of saying "oh my God". Not too bad in the grand scheme of things but not great! I don't make it a big deal but say that nice little girls don't say that!

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