Obsessive behaviour in 2 year old?(17 Posts)
Hi everyone. I'm a little bit concerned about my 2 and a half year old DD. Over the course of 2 years I have bought her Jellycat bunnies, some for Christmas and birthdays and some just as a treat. She has always loved them and has had them in her bedroom but recently she has become seriously attached to them. She has around 7 in total and leaving the house without every single one results in a huge meltdown. Throughout the day if we spend the day at home she carts them around with her and has an almighty tantrum if she drops one and can't get too it or she wants to climb onto the sofa and she can't without me taking the bunnies off her ( which results in screaming) she even wants to take them into the bath and to have them at meal times. This has been going on for around 2 weeks now. Im slightly worried, is this normal toddler behaviour because this has become an obsession with her and I'm worried it could be the signs of an issue maybe? Any advice? Hoping people will tell me it's just a normal toddler stage and it's just her way of getting through it..
Unless she's showing other signs of Autism or problems, I would think it was just a toddler stage and she was having a tantrum.
(A meltdown is a sensory overload, whereby an ASD child can't explain what's wrong. A tantrum is an episode that can resolved by giving a child what they want)
Does she communicate well? Does she have any speech delays etc?
My DS is two, and has ASD, but at the minute is simply pushing the boundaries in terms of behaviour, unfortunately for us, he doesn't understand any verbal communication so it's difficult to put any type of discipline in place.
If you're worried about her in anyway, do just give your Health Visitor a call, or talk to her Key Worker if she attends nursery?
Completely normal. Google "Transitional Objects"
7 is a lot of transitional objects but at least they''re something conventional. There have been treads on here about kids getting attached to turnips, spatulas, wigs- all sorts of mad things.
Oh-- and you might wnat to buy some secret spares in case the worst happens!
try not to worry, kids do have their 'quirks', i was going to ask about her communication but Erica beat me to it
Thanks everyone. She was a late walker and she also never crawled, just bum shuffled. And she hasn't really come along in her speech since starting preschool a few months ago but now she can say most things if I get her to repeat them.
It's really hard because the preschool don't like her taking 7 bunnies with her, I don't see the issue personally as it makes her happy and she's having a bad time at school because she hasn't got all of them with her, they obviously make her feel safe. I've cut her down to taking one bunny with her and we tuck the rest up in her bed but it's a bit of a nightmare haha.
Socially I worry about her as we do socialise quite a lot with friends but she can be very shy. Yesterday I took her to a toddler group that we have been to quite a few times now and she had a meltdown the whole time she was there and kept asking to go home.
I have also just recently had another baby so that could be a factor, he's 9 weeks now and she's taken to him brilliantly but I suppose that could also be another reason.
I had a collection of smurfs that were my best friends.
I am very sociable and have great imagination.
I would see if you can role play it with her that only one bunny comes to school everyday and you give them a little badge or something or a system so she is happy.
I am super aware of emotions and I was a child. If I woke up and one if my smurfs had fallen of the bed I would quickly tug them in. As an adult I am very caring.
I think she cares about the bunnies and I think it is adorable. I dont see any sign here of her being in the spectrum.
Oh, I work in children learning and I just found out I am pregnant so I am a bit emotional
Can I also add that I hated playing with children "I hadnt chosen"
I am actually an introvert even though people dont realise. I like choosing my own friends and it takes me a while to open up to people
She sounds like a clever little one to me
Id be having a look at your choice of nursery in all honesty. I mean, I don't think anywhere will let her take 7 there, but they should be offering other ways to make her feel settled and relaxed.
I mean this in the most lovely way, but unless during the times she gets upset, the episodes last for a very long time and aren't resolved when she gets what she wants (which I presume they are, as you say she's asking to go home) then they are NOT Meltdowns. They're tantrums and periods of being upset and distressed. The word Meltdown is used for a child with ASD who can't communicate what they're feeling and has a sensory overload, it's a word a lot of parents need to make others understand that their child isn't just 'naughty' (not saying your DD is naughty btw) and in need of discipline.
I would be speaking to your Health Visitor if you're in any way concerned about her speech, she may be able to offer some ways to help her improve? Also, she may have taken beautifully to being a big Sister, but she still is probably feeling a little pushed out and in need of comfort
Does she have a peg or a drawer or something at nursery?
Perhaps you cold let her take them in then leave them safely in her shoe bag/coat pockets whatever, ready for her to have when she comes out.
You could even buy her a special backpack for them and give her responsibility for packing them in the morningand hanging them on her peg.
How many hours is she in nursery for each day?
I gave in today and let her take 3 bunnies to avoid a tantrum.
She goes 3 days a week for 3 hours a time. Sorry I meant to say her speech has come on well since nursery. She cried again tonight at bath time because she couldn't take them in the bath. They are too large for a backpack unfortunatly, and she doesn't have her own peg either.
I do role play with them and get her to tuck them up in bed like I did this morning but she had tears rolling down her face and I couldn't bare it
Could the pre school staff put a bunny on a shelf or similar to 'watch her play'? It's what I used to do with any transitional objects my pupils and key children came in with, worked quite well. Alternatively if she has a drawer for her things bunny could peek out of there, she could tuck the bunny into the drawer with a blanket etc. Bit surprised the pre school staff haven't offered any solutions tbh, she can't be the first two year old to come in with treasured toys!
Id say if you can get her out of the house while 6 are tucked up in bed, only 1 with her, it's normal toddler stuff. In my opinion if this was autism, you'd have not choice in taking all 7 everywhere if that's what she needed
EricaPrimrose Slightly odd appropriation of the word meltdown. It's definition is an uncontrollable mental collapse or breakdown and is not solely linked to autism. I don't see the OP was doing anything contentious by using it.
pocket you're not wrong there - it took me ages to figure out why dc3 was inconsolable at bedtime once (he's totally non-verbal) and it turned out he'd left some of his cars in another room and just would not settle without them... OP, it does sound like 'normal' toddler behaviour to me, especially as you say her speech is improving but obviously, if you need to put your mind at rest, have a word with your GP
LOL OP. You left the critical part out of your op new sibling.
She's two. She has a 9 week old interloper in the house. She might love him & appear to be fine about it, but she's no longer the total focus of your attention & she's learning to cope with it.
If it were me I'd tell her firmly that only one toy us allowed to go to nursery. Do not give into tears - she needs boundaries to push against that don't change. Then I'd focus in her as much as possible when she is awake, making as little fuss about DS as possible.
Don't make him the focus of anything happening, good or bad. For example if you need to go home because he needs a feed, don't say that. Tell her you need to go home to have lunch/put the shopping in the fridge or whatever.
It'll soon be as though he's always been there and she'll soon realise it's all still ok, she just needs a little reassurance that she's still the centre of your universe.
Perfectly normal. We had that with DGS's monkeys. Bought three extras in case we lost one and he then wanted to carry around all four. 8 years old now and they stay on his bed.
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