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Such a thing as too gentle and social toddler.

(7 Posts)
photographerlady Sun 12-Jun-16 22:02:19

Not sure if anyone can relate. My nearly 3 year old is very social but almost too social. There are few situations where I worry but today at a child's birthday party at a soft play its sort of exposed itself. She loves talking but sometimes when she's around new children and adults she keeps talking to them, repeats, tries to hand them things, repeats herself more etc. Its sweet in a mothers eyes but her excited but gentle nature is now with 3,4,5 year olds and like today at softplay she was hit a few times by another child and pushed. its a rarity for us to be at a soft play and I never seen her hit before. I don't yet think she understands and I know its the way of the world and the next social step for her but I don't want to scold her for behaviour that isn't really bad behaviour. I a m debating how to address it like how do you explain to your child they need to "back off".. sounds weird even thinking it. Most times its fine, its 100% reciprocated and lovely to see. But I know that sometimes parents/other children shy away from her or are annoyed by the behaviour.

VioletBam Sun 12-Jun-16 23:33:47

How is her general use of language?

Peasandsweetcorn Mon 13-Jun-16 01:03:58

Of course a child can be too chatty & social. It is no different from a very shy child needing to learn the social norms. Being hit for it is unfortunate and, depending on the age of the child, I may have spoken to them or the parent but your daughter will need to learn to read the signals of when to back off & shut up. She will also need to learn to control herself at school as, whilst the law of averages means that the teacher won't have 30 children like that constantly vying for her attention, even one child doing it can be incredibly annoying if you are trying to explain a task or deal with something and a child is chatting, whether to you or another child.
I am sorry if this comes across quite harshly but I am surprised that you are querying whether this could be an issue.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 Mon 13-Jun-16 03:38:52

Well we don't all know everything. It's a parenting forum where people can ask for advice

Kariana Mon 13-Jun-16 19:04:41

A simple "x is busy" or "x is talking, wait till s/he's finished" would be good for when she does this with adults, or even "you've talked to x a lot, now go do (whatever) for a while".

For children you might have to be extra vigilant and watch for their signs of annoyance yourself then step in with a "I don't think x wants that" (for trying to give objects) or "x wants to be left alone". These can all be said gently without seeming like you're telling her off.

Also have a think about how you interact with her at home. Do you allow her to interrupt whatever you are doing and immediately listen/give attention? What about if you and another adult are having a conversation? She is still quite young but it's not too early to be practising good social skills such as waiting to speak or even learning that not everyone wants to give her their full attention all the time. Could you start some practise with her at home?

mouldycheesefan Mon 13-Jun-16 19:08:02

Social skills are leaned over a period of time and she is still only two. Keep taking her to groups and places where the are other kids, nursery helps too they do a lot of work on circle time, taking turns to speak, sharing " news" etc. This will help her in readiness for school.

BabyGanoush Mon 13-Jun-16 19:11:50

Oh, it is tricky OP, I have a wonderful DS like this, and he is 11 now.

Basically he is a bit marmite, some kids love it, others don't and there are much worse things that kids do. Funnily enough ,most adults like a child who can hold a conversation and maintain eye contact for a bit at this age! When they went to visit an old people's home he was a hit with the 80 year olds.

Like my DS, your DD will be "corrected by her peers" over time, at playgroup/school.

Personally I don't think there is anything you need to do at 3. At 11, I DO make a point of occasionally telling DS to hold his horses/stop and listen to others/and choose his topics of conversation to suit his audience wink

IMO kids are very forgiving of other kids' quirks though, and you may see your DD's behaviour through a magnifying glass. if a little 3 yr old girl started chatting to me I'd be delighted TBH, it's sweet. Correct her a bit if you must, but let her be her. There are worse things than being outgoing and chatty grin

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