Does my hard work 6yo have issues? HELP!(7 Posts)
My son is 6 and for years I've know there's something not quite mainstream/normal about him.
He is extremely clever and well behaved (I'm quite strict) and has met all his milestones, however, ever since he was 6 months old I've had worries with him:
He never made eye contact as a baby (still doesn't) and I have to remind him to look at me when talking
He NEVER babbled like babies do and was always just extremely quiet.
He never seemed to need or want much sleep as a baby or now.
Sleep is a major issue for us. He is well behaved and goes to bed fine most nights but seems to be distracted by everything/nothing (we have a great bedtime routine and do bedtime story - no screen time). He was up this morning after only having 8 hours and wakes everyone else up too (5am). He looks exhausted but never seems to be tired. He is also very active so I know it's not a case of tiring him out.
He is a very anxious child and seems to worry over the most bizarre things also.
He doesn't like to be touched or hugged much by anyone except parents - even grandparents!
He can't sit still, seriously, even at dinner time he waves an arm or 2 about or fidgets about on his seat - he seems unaware he does it, and unaware that he constantly makes noises too.
He can't be on his own, he can't even go upstairs without having someone be with him - even a younger sibling.
He can't talk to many people and meeting new people is awful and embarrassing. He seems to just make gestures and noises when people speak to him.
He seems to not understand about personal space and has always put things right in peoples face or stands too close and fidgets and touches people - I can see his peers noticing how annoying these things are now.
At school assemblies or anything where he has to sit or concentrate etc he fidgets with hands then just goes into this strange stare for the whole time, eyes fixed and glazed and mouth hanging open.
Really I need some advice, since he was a baby I've been fobbed off with 'he'll grow out of it', 'it will change when he starts nursery/school'... It hasn't. If anything, being around his peers has just affirmed how different he is.
Dr I saw when he was 3 was just patronising about it so I'm really stuck as to where to go next.
I love him but he is just too challenging and needy and disturbing everyone's sleep has to change as I have 2 younger children who he constantly wakes.
Have you spoken to school about it? If a six year old in my school was displaying the behaviours that you've listed we'd probably look at getting the educational psychologist in for an initial meeting and observation.
Go and see your school and your dr. Tell them both you want an assessment
Should I be specific about what I want him assessed for? Autism, ADHD etc. I have no idea what the issues all boil down to but I know there's something.
This was his first year at school, where he didn't know any of the teachers/students so, as usual, he is taking his time to speak to teachers. At parents evening they (he has 2 teachers that job share) were very happy with his reading level and said he was quiet and also did as he was asked, but that he'd much rather play than do work - which to me is normal for a 6yo anyway. That was about it.
At his old nursery I had raised some concerns and my Health visitor sent In a speech and language therapist to assess him. I tried to explain that it wasn't that he couldn't speak, he just wouldn't!
The assessor agreed that he is definitely anxious and thought it was strange that even if he hurt himself or was upset he wouldn't approach a teacher and would just go somewhere and hide (under a table, behind a door etc). She also said it wasn't a speech and language issue and he should see someone else but nothing was ever done after this point.
I guess when I speak to healthcare professionals this time I just want to be a bit more clued up as to what I'm asking if them.
I wouldn't worry about trying to diagnose anything yourself; that's what the professionals are there for. What's really important is that you are able to give examples of what he's like both at home and school.
Oh and this is quite key: thought it was strange that even if he hurt himself or was upset he wouldn't approach a teacher and would just go somewhere and hide (under a table, behind a door etc)
Was that when he was at nursery? Does he ask for help now at school if he's hurt or upset?
Yes, this was when he was at nursery, and they were always great at alerting me to it. He also did bizarre things like this at home. He would often hide under the table or somewhere if he knew we were having guests - even grandparents who he would see regularly. I would normally leave him to it and he would come out after 45min or so. It was either this or he would climb all over me (again, with the personal space issue). He seems to not know how to act in situations around people.
He hasn't been in the situation (I don't think) where he's needed help but I am fairly confident that he would now seek it out ie ask a teacher or teachers support.
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