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Meltdown? Is this 'normal' behaviour? Any strategies please?

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bobbinpop Thu 26-May-16 22:41:02

Long message; sorry! Wanted to give a clear picture.
I have twin DDs aged 8.5. DD2 has always been 'high needs' or highly sensitive since birth. To summarise previous triggers for crying and high emotional states:
- something not being perfect (a picture, a piece of perfectly smooth paper, an arrangement which slips)
-sock seams being slightly off centre
-not being held or picked up enough
-food being presented differently or made by someone else.

Recently, things that get her in a state are similar but also include being jealous of her sister's things or friends' situations. Things not being exactly as she wants them. Transitions are particularly hard, dropping at my parents' house or at a party, for example... Parties are always fraught at beginning and end. Any changes, however minor, to our plans result in her being very upset.

She also takes things very personally and feels people are doing things to purposefully upset her. For example, a child at school doing a particular gesture or mannerism that she doesn't like. This will make her very unsettled and she will repeatedly tell me about it for a while. Or the smell of bananas, and if we eat one near her she takes it as a personal insult.

Today she cried on and off for 3 hours as her sister hurt her foot and was (over dramatically...) limping. She could not cope with this at all and said she was doing it to upset her. I tried to calm her with breathing exercises and time out alone, cuddling, but the calm only lasted til she saw her again. Very stressful evening!!

Outbursts can be crying very loudly, shouting, swearing and shouting at us. She sometimes throws whatever she is holding.

Any help very much appreciated. Is this in the realms of normal or should I seek help? Any suggested strategies to help her to deal with her feelings?

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