6 year old doesn't want to go to summer camp and is clingy- should I just let her?

[Pizaza]

Hello,

I was wondering if any parent has experienced the same - my 6 year old daughter does not want to go to summer camp this year. We sent her the last year for 2 weeks (from 10am until 3pm) and chose some where her friends also went. I am now unsure if she knows what it means to be 6 weeks at home and if I should just accept it.
She is a happy child, has friends but hates school since she is in Year 1 as she says they "only do boring stuff now" and she misses her family. She is going through a clingy phase- she wants her friends to come to her, feels better when me or my husband are around likes to be at home. My gut feeling tells me this is what she needs right now but then I think- should I push her so she can outgrow this feeling? Or is this a phase she will outgrow herself if I just give her time? Has anyone experienced this?

[Ambroxide]

I've never sent my daughter to summer camp. She's 9. It's not compulsory and DD would have hated it. If you don't need to send her so you can work, let her stay at home. If you do need to send her then explain why you need her to go so you can work and earn money etc. Pushing a child who needs you away from you if you don't have to will only reinforce the feeling of needing you, I think. And it will teach her that you aren't listening to her opinions, her feelings or her needs. As your daughter has already experienced summer camp, she does know what it is and what it's like so I would listen to her.

[Catmuffin]

I'd use the money you would have spent on summer camp to do stuff like swimming, outings and do free stuff like going to the park, seeing friends and National Trust (if already members.) I'm sure she'd enjoy doing stuff like that over the holidays. ( I got the impression from your post that you have a choice about her being home or doing the playscheme so don't need it for childcare.)

[Catmuffin]

She could always do the odd class at a local leisure centre, eg. Art, trampolining etc

[Dellarobia]

Does she need to go to some form of childcare so you can work? If not, I wouldn't send a 6yo against her will personally.

[PrincessHairyMclary]

I wouldn't send her if I didn't have to.

My 6 year old is an only child and I work term time only, in the summer she makes friends at the beach, park, s miming pool or soft play, she chats with them whilst going to museums, we bake, we watch TV, we have time to actually play together unlike the rushing from place to place in term time. If your child is an introvert she may find it very draining being in a noisy classroom all week and them similar in the holidays if you can give her time to recharge.

[LucyLocketLostIt]

If it's not a necessity then don't send her if she doesn't want to go. She's still only little.

[Witchend]

It depends.

If she's the sort of child who needs a little push to do things, and you've chosen one she'll enjoy, then I'd send her.
If she's the sort of child who usually wants to do things and get out, then I'd listen to her.

Dd1 and dd2 both loved doing things. Dd2 in particular could be excited for 9 months at something booked that she'd never tried before and people she didn't know.
Dd1 tended to like the idea, have a slight confidence crisis at the door and then once I'd walked her in be fine.
If dd2 said she didn't want to do anything then I'd have pulled her out. If dd1 had said she didn't I would have found out why and made a decision with her whether to do it or not.

Ds is a total kettle of fish. Anything new, even if it is something he loves the idea of, he will not want to do it, possibly even with tears. So he does less things. However there are times when I tell him he is going to do it, otherwise he would never do anything.
I make sure it is something I know he'll love, and also make sure the group leader is clear that if he's struggling then I want them to phone me and not jolly him along. In your case I'd tell him he had to do the first day and then we'd discuss the next day in the evening each day and he didn't have to do it. I've only once had the case when he did decide not to continue.
But he can have something he's loved, book it for the next year at his request and he will go through another crisis of confidence again the next year, which the girls never did.
He's much more a home bird than the girls.

For example last year he did a theatre production. He wasn't sure about doing it, but absolutely loved it when it came round to doing it. He slightly got cornered into an audition.
He was desperate to do it again this year and asked me week after week when the auditions were.
When it came to putting him down for auditions (2 months in advance) he said he wanted a good part with a solo song. About a month before he wanted the solo taken out. A week before he decided he didn't want to do it.
I took him in saying he didn't want to audition and didn't want to do it.
He then got given the massive part of villager 3 and burst into tears because it was "too big".
But a week later he was begging to know when rehearsals started-until the day before when he panicked and said he wanted me to say he wasn't doing it. I bribed him into the first rehearsal and since them he's living from one rehearsal to the next, and saying how wonderful it is.