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Can you tell me about your 8 year old please?

(19 Posts)
BonesyBones Wed 11-May-16 14:19:27

I'm filling in a DLA form for DS who is 8 years old, and honestly, I'm not certain what is "normal" 8 year old behaviour (in terms of faffing) and what is not. If you don't mind could you please tell me:

How long it takes you to convince them to wash/dress/brush teeth/shower? Or do they do it willingly?
Whether you still wash their hair?
How long a supposedly 10 minute piece of homework (writing ten spelling words and three sentences or a sheet of addition sums) takes to complete? Do you have to reassure them after every answer?
How safe are they outdoors (with roads/stranger danger/stray animals)?
Can they, or more likely do they wipe after using the toilet? Do you ever need to do it for them?
Can they manage buttons or zips fine? What about shoe laces?
Do (particularly boys) at this age ever stop eating? Or do they realise that they are full?
Do they communicate with ridiculous "funny" faces and made-up words from TV instead of just responding normally? For example if I offer DS a biscuit he will make a comical face and pant like a dog to signal that this is what he wants. He can talk, I don't know if all 8 year olds do daft things like this but he does it for everything!

theclick Wed 11-May-16 14:21:08

Would be interested in these answers too.

ineedamoreadultieradult Wed 11-May-16 14:33:03

DS has just turned 9 a few days ago so I will answer anyway as its still probably relevant, also relevant is he has a reputation within the family and at school as being a 'faffer' and is so laid back he is practically horizontal!

How long it takes you to convince them to wash/dress/brush teeth/shower? Or do they do it willingly? he wouldn't do any of these things without me telling him to do it, normally will do it straight away when I tell him but sometimes have to ask three times before he starts doing it and occasionally if he is really engrossed in what he is doing he will moan and groan about doing it

Whether you still wash their hair? I don't wash his hair but have to tell him every time to do it or he wouldn't

How long a supposedly 10 minute piece of homework (writing ten spelling words and three sentences or a sheet of addition sums) takes to complete? Do you have to reassure them after every answer? it would take the 10 minutes or less as he rushes and doesn't put 100% effort into homework always does bare minimum. He doesn't ask for reassurance as doesn't care if its right or wrong

How safe are they outdoors (with roads/stranger danger/stray animals)? he is safe outside re roads and regularly walks home from after school football by himself crossing a quiet road alone and using green man to cross the busier road. I don't know re stranger sanger as it has never come up (thank God) but he does know the principle and he wouldn't approach a stray dog but probably would a stray cat

Can they, or more likely do they wipe after using the toilet? Do you ever need to do it for them? he is fine with this

Can they manage buttons or zips fine? What about shoe laces? he is ok with these, he does tie his laces looser than I would i.e there is a gap between the bow and the shoes but they stay on his feet for the most part

Do (particularly boys) at this age ever stop eating? Or do they realise that they are full? he eats a lot but will refuse food if already full and sometimes leaves food on his plate if he is full up (and I know its not because he doesn't like it as sometimes he leaves chips or chocolate!)

Do they communicate with ridiculous "funny" faces and made-up words from TV instead of just responding normally? For example if I offer DS a biscuit he will make a comical face and pant like a dog to signal that this is what he wants. He can talk, I don't know if all 8 year olds do daft things like this but he does it for everything not specifically this but he does do daft stuff, he will answer in an American accent or with a song lyric i.e if I say hello, he will sing "hello, is it me your looking for?" He also makes up daft songs with his brother and constantly talks about poo, wee and farts! He also still pretends to be a dog or a horse or whatever but not sure how much of this is to play along with his little brother, I'm not sure he does this kind of thing with his friends

Hope that helped.

SqueegyBeckinheim Wed 11-May-16 14:34:53

I have an 8 year old DD.

How long to wash/dress/brush teeth/shower? Slightly longer than an adult, some faffing especially when getting dressed, often gets distracted by toys and books in her room.

Does she do above willingly? Has to be asked, sometimes two or three times, but doesn't refuse or argue, occasionally grumbles.

Still wash hair? Yes, but she has really long hair. If she had short hair she could probably do it herself.

How long does a Ten minute sheet of homework take? Ten to twenty minutes. Doesn't require reassurance after answers, in fact is often reluctant for me to look at it.

Safe outdoors? A bit off with the fairies sometimes so I worry about roads. Hot on stranger danger though, she wouldn't talk to a stranger by herself. She's scared of dogs so wouldn't go near a strange dog.

Wipe after using toilet? I never do it, I haven't for At least two years. Sometimes there are skid marks in pants, but mostly pretty good now.

Zips, buttons and shoe laces? Zips and buttons no problem, occasionally misbuttons a cardigan. Can't really tie laces.

Eating? My DD isn't a good sample for this as she has always had a small appetite and stops when she is full, which is sometimes after a few mouthfuls.

Funny words and faces? Sometimes. Likes to repeat catchphrases or sing responses, but not all the time.

I hope this helps.

Miloarmadillo1 Wed 11-May-16 14:35:46

My oldest DS is 9, but no different in these terms to a year ago.
He gets up and gets dressed without being told, goes and has a shower after tea without being told and washes his own hair. He has to be reminded to brush his teeth and to pick the used towel and dirty clothes off the floor.
He can use the toilet independently, he'd be horrified if I tried to wipe his bum. Can dress himself including buttons, zips and shoelaces.
He would have to be told to sit down and do the homework but would then complete it without intervention.
He's pretty sensible outdoors, is allowed to go post a letter/ go to the local shop/ ride his bike down the lane opposite our house on his own, which all involve crossing one road. We were just starting to allow this at 8.
He never stops eating and claims to be hungry immediately after polishing off a plate of food.
He is daft/silly at times, doesn't always respond appropriately.

BonesyBones Wed 11-May-16 14:39:56

ineed that was very helpful thank you. Seems the polar opposite to my DS! He doesn't really have any friends so it's very difficult to see how he differs from others.

BonesyBones Wed 11-May-16 14:42:45

Thank you again to squeegy and milo these are exactly the types of answers I was looking for. All very helpful.

Badders123 Wed 11-May-16 14:47:49

Ds2 is 7.5 but I will answer...

it takes you to convince them to wash/dress/brush teeth/shower? Or do they do it willingly?
Usually, yes. He only likes fruity toothpaste though!

Whether you still wash their hair?
Yes, but only because I want to make sure it all gets done!

How long a supposedly 10 minute piece of homework (writing ten spelling words and three sentences or a sheet of addition sums) takes to complete? Do you have to reassure them after every answer?
Probably about 10 mins. He doesn't like getting things wrong, but is getting better at this.

How safe are they outdoors (with roads/stranger danger/stray animals)?
Very. Always had good road sense etc

Can they, or more likely do they wipe after using the toilet? Do you ever need to do it for them?
He can do but will ask me. I usually say no!

Can they manage buttons or zips fine? What about shoe laces?
Buttons and zips fine. No shoe laces yet.

Do (particularly boys) at this age ever stop eating? Or do they realise that they are full?
Ds would eat every 20 mins if I let him! But he is on meds which make him hungry.

Do they communicate with ridiculous "funny" faces and made-up words from TV instead of just responding normally? For example if I offer DS a biscuit he will make a comical face and pant like a dog to signal that this is what he wants. He can talk, I don't know if all 8 year olds do daft things like this but he does it for everything!
No

Hope that helps!

SharingMichelle Wed 11-May-16 14:51:53

Ds recently turned 8.

How long it takes you to convince them to wash/dress/brush teeth/shower? Or do they do it willingly?
Never willingly. Lots and lots of nagging. Occasionally shouting. He'll get as far as putting one leg in his pants and then stare out of the window for 10 minutes... he goes in to the bathroom to brush his teeth and 15 minutes later he has yet to pick up his toothbrush. Very hard to deal with when trying to get five people out of the house on a deadline.

Whether you still wash their hair?
He does it, or doesn't do it. I'm pretty lax about this sort of thing as he swims at least 3 times a week. Occasionally I might if he's filthy but I'd have to ask him nicely / persuade him it was necessary for me to do it.

How long a supposedly 10 minute piece of homework (writing ten spelling words and three sentences or a sheet of addition sums) takes to complete? Do you have to reassure them after every answer?
Oh god, a million years. His homework has reduced me to tears more than once. It's painful. It used to drag on for hours but now I put a cap on it - he faffs about for 25 minutes and then takes in whatever he's got done in that time, which isn't very much usually.

How safe are they outdoors (with roads/stranger danger/stray animals)?
Fairly competent. Bit dreamy with roads but he doesn't get much practice.

Can they, or more likely do they wipe after using the toilet? Do you ever need to do it for them?
He wipes (occasionally not very well) but often 'forgets' to flush or wash his hands. I have to be on alert when I hear the bathroom door.

Can they manage buttons or zips fine? What about shoe laces?
All fine.

Do (particularly boys) at this age ever stop eating? Or do they realise that they are full?
He's not all that interested in food. His sisters are more likely to pig out than he is.

Do they communicate with ridiculous "funny" faces and made-up words from TV instead of just responding normally? For example if I offer DS a biscuit he will make a comical face and pant like a dog to signal that this is what he wants. He can talk, I don't know if all 8 year olds do daft things like this but he does it for everything!
Yes, he does this.

BonesyBones Wed 11-May-16 15:02:43

Thank you Badders and sharing for answering. Getting a good idea now.

JimmyGreavesMoustache Wed 11-May-16 15:06:23

DC1 is just-turned-9

How long it takes you to convince them to wash/dress/brush teeth/shower? Or do they do it willingly?
Generally lots and lots of nagging/prompts have been required until recently, when we struck a deal that she can get her ears pierced if she consistently does her self-care without nagging/prompting. Prior to that she was a proper soap-dodger.

Whether you still wash their hair?
Yes - super-thick hair though.

How long a supposedly 10 minute piece of homework (writing ten spelling words and three sentences or a sheet of addition sums) takes to complete? Do you have to reassure them after every answer?
10 minutes once I've got her to stop playing and sit down to do it. She's fairly focused academically. No reassurance required.

How safe are they outdoors (with roads/stranger danger/stray animals)?
Can do quiet roads with good visibility ok. Stranger danger seems ok. We let her go out to the corner shop by herself, and stay home for a hour by herself.

Can they, or more likely do they wipe after using the toilet? Do you ever need to do it for them?
Wiping independently since nursery.

Can they manage buttons or zips fine? What about shoe laces?
Buttons/zips since reception, laces from YR2.

Do (particularly boys) at this age ever stop eating? Or do they realise that they are full?
Mine are both "good eaters" or "a bit greedy", depending if you're MIL or me. Mine would eat until bursting but I don't think that's usual.

Do they communicate with ridiculous "funny" faces and made-up words from TV instead of just responding normally? For example if I offer DS a biscuit he will make a comical face and pant like a dog to signal that this is what he wants. He can talk, I don't know if all 8 year olds do daft things like this but he does it for everything!
Yup - different stuff but we have our fair share of daftness. To be fair DH and I occasionally communicate solely through the medium of musical theatre, so that might be learned behaviour.

BonesyBones Wed 11-May-16 15:14:38

To be fair DH and I occasionally communicate solely through the medium of musical theatre, so that might be learned behaviour.
That is excellent! grin thanks jimmy

HeteronormativeHaybales Wed 11-May-16 15:24:16

Right, this is for my current 8yo who is broadly Nt afaik but quite 'young' for his age and has touches of slightly spectrummy behaviour and we suspect some perception/focus issues. His older brother ('mild' ADD but emotionally roughly his age and v academic) would have ben different.

How long it takes you to convince them to wash/dress/brush teeth/shower? Or do they do it willingly?
Yes, v good at getting on with this. 11yo ds1 faffs significantly more to this day.

Whether you still wash their hair?
Nope

How long a supposedly 10 minute piece of homework (writing ten spelling words and three sentences or a sheet of addition sums) takes to complete? Do you have to reassure them after every answer?
This is tricky one as said focus/perception issues means he can 'read' questions wrongly/copy errors into things and needs v close supervision. Also prone to frustrated explosions

How safe are they outdoors (with roads/stranger danger/stray animals)?
Pretty reliable and focused out and about. Walks home from school alone, no roads but has done longer routes with crossings once or twice too.

Yes to wiping (though technique prob leaves something to be desired).

Can they manage buttons or zips fine? What about shoe laces?
Struggles a little when they won't work immediately - frustration again.

Do (particularly boys) at this age ever stop eating? Or do they realise that they are full?
Knows when he's full and will stop. Definite likes and dislikes. Bit of a gourmet tbh!

Do they communicate with ridiculous "funny" faces and made-up words from TV instead of just responding normally?
Can do - that's just spontaneous child silliness surely?

steppemum Wed 11-May-16 15:34:57

dd2 is 8.5. Quite a bit ahead of her peers in some things. She has an older sister and brother, so I will try and do a some of average.

How long it takes you to convince them to wash/dress/brush teeth/shower? Or do they do it willingly?
I have to ask, chivy and chase into the shower, stand over teeth brushing (otherwise she will pretend to have done it) But when necessary she can whiz upstairs, shower, pjs teeth and back down in 6 minutes for the start of her favourite tv program. Overall pretty willing, but easily distracted.
Whether you still wash their hair?
yes. 11 year old can now do her own, it took a year to teach her. BUT girls both have long hair. Ds - I was still washing at 8, gradually got him to do it sometime around 8-9
How long a supposedly 10 minute piece of homework (writing ten spelling words and three sentences or a sheet of addition sums) takes to complete? Do you have to reassure them after every answer?
dd1 (11) - has always been -sit down done in 10 minutes no help, I'm not allowed to see it.
dd2 (8) needs a nudge to get it started, but then pretty independent. No reassurance needed (but she is able and HW easy)
ds at age 8 - 3 hours of protest and argument and putting it off. Me loosing my temper , etc etc. Then teacher introduced loose your playtime if it isn't done,and I said - up to you, do it now or at playtime and overnight he started to do it. Once started, would take 10 minutes and not need reassurance.

How safe are they outdoors (with roads/stranger danger/stray animals)?
basically safe. Know how to cross a road, look out for traffic, understand stranger danger, and in principle stray animals. BUT I would let dd2 to the corner shop, I wouldn't let her on her own much further, I don't think at 8 they are reliable enough to always follow the rules, remember to look before crossing etc. We had a girl her age from their school killed on our road, very quiet, traffic going slowly at 20 mph, she was talking over her shoulder and just stepped out right under the wheels of a bus. Tragic. dd goes to her friend at the end of the road, and she would run across the road without looking if she had spotted him and was in a hurry. Knows stranger danger, but she still begins conversations with random strangers in supermarkets.
Can they, or more likely do they wipe after using the toilet? Do you ever need to do it for them?
yes. reliably clean, unless she has diarrhea, and she has recently had an accident with this and needed help.
Can they manage buttons or zips fine? What about shoe laces?
buttons, zips and any fastenings yes fine.
shoelaces - no, she has never learned as she hasn't had shoes with laces. My older two learned somewhere between 8 and 10, when they needed to, and then learned quite quickly.
Do (particularly boys) at this age ever stop eating? Or do they realise that they are full?
eat, get full, eat again 20 minutes later!
All 3 of mine do know and recognise they are full, and stop eating, and will refuse food if full. But if full and then offered a treat, they would over stuff (eg ice cream, sweets)
Do they communicate with ridiculous "funny" faces and made-up words from TV instead of just responding normally? For example if I offer DS a biscuit he will make a comical face and pant like a dog to signal that this is what he wants. He can talk, I don't know if all 8 year olds do daft things like this but he does it for everything!
hmm, dd sis this a lot, pretending to be a dog for the whole day. I needed to be the dog owner and frame all questions as if to a dog. But she was younger, maybe 5 or 6? She very rarely does it now. The odd pretending to be a bear when wearing her bear onsie.

Afreshstartplease Wed 11-May-16 15:41:37

How long it takes you to convince them to wash/dress/brush teeth/shower? Or do they do it willingly? first time asked
Whether you still wash their hair? yes
How long a supposedly 10 minute piece of homework (writing ten spelling words and three sentences or a sheet of addition sums) takes to complete? 10 min Do you have to reassure them after every answer? no
How safe are they outdoors (with roads/stranger danger/stray animals)? doesn't go outside of house/garden alone but knows about these things
Can they, or more likely do they wipe after using the toilet? Do you ever need to do it for them? yes, never do it for him
Can they manage buttons or zips fine? yes What about shoe laces? no
Do (particularly boys) at this age ever stop eating? Or do they realise that they are full? eats a lot but does get full
Do they communicate with ridiculous "funny" faces and made-up words from TV instead of just responding normally? For example if I offer DS a biscuit he will make a comical face and pant like a dog to signal that this is what he wants. He can talk, I don't know if all 8 year olds do daft things like this but he does it for everything sometimes if in a silly mood

WhoseMonkeys Wed 11-May-16 15:59:45

DD is 8.

How long it takes you to convince them to wash/dress/brush teeth/shower? Or do they do it willingly?

Rarely willing - It usually involves me saying/shouting "come on" and "hurry up" a lot. She says she's not bothered if she smells or is dirty. When I say that I am bothered, she says "Meh" and shrugs her shoulders at me. Then, once she's in the bath, I struggle to get her back out in under 45 minutes! Contrary really.

Whether you still wash their hair?

Most of the time she washes it but I do the final rinse. Once a week, I wash it to make sure it is clean.

How long a supposedly 10 minute piece of homework (writing ten spelling words and three sentences or a sheet of addition sums) takes to complete? Do you have to reassure them after every answer?

She does her homework immediately for her Dad because he sits over her but she slow times me and is easily distracted as I'm usually trying to do something else at the same time.

How safe are they outdoors (with roads/stranger danger/stray animals)?

Has a good understanding but I still wouldn't trust her with a busy road.

Can they, or more likely do they wipe after using the toilet? Do you ever need to do it for them?

She wipes (not always very well) but often 'forgets' to flush or wash her hands.

Can they manage buttons or zips fine? What about shoe laces?

Can't do shoe laces but that's because she doesn't have and never has had any to practice on.

Do (particularly boys) at this age ever stop eating? Or do they realise that they are full?

She eats loads but will leave what she doesn't want/like on her plate. She's hungry again quickly though. I don't worry as she's always, always on the go and burning calories all the time.

Do they communicate with ridiculous "funny" faces and made-up words from TV instead of just responding normally? For example if I offer DS a biscuit he will make a comical face and pant like a dog to signal that this is what he wants. He can talk, I don't know if all 8 year olds do daft things like this but he does it for everything!

She does still do this occasionally.

JiltedJohnsJulie Wed 11-May-16 16:23:01

Dd is 8 and it takes her at least an hour to get dressed, eat breakfast, brush teeth and hair and involves constant reminders.

She does wash her own, very long and thick hair but often needs a bit of help with the final rinse. This is fairly new, before I did it all.

The homework bit would probably take about 20 mins but actually getting her to sit down with the books and a pencil would be much more.

Fairly safe, knows to stay on pavement but still gets walked to and from school.

Wipes own bum but think that's a girl thing. Sure I DS was still asking sometimes at 8.

Can do easy zips and buttons. Has recently learnt how to tie shoes but they often come undone very quickly afterwards.

My DS never stops eating but DD is very, very picky.

No, she doesn't do this.

lougle Wed 11-May-16 17:02:16

DD2 is 8.9. We think she has HFA but she doesn't have any official dx or SN label or provision, so make of that what you will:

How long it takes you to convince them to wash/dress/brush teeth/shower? Or do they do it willingly?
She wouldn't willingly do any of the above. Doesn't see the point of it. We have to be quite firm about it. She gets very distracted when she's getting dressed so needs lots of reminders that she needs to continue with getting dressed.

Whether you still wash their hair? Yes. She doesn't have the coordination to thoroughly wash and rinse her hair and she finds the water in her eyes distressing unless she can use her hands to cover them.

How long a supposedly 10 minute piece of homework (writing ten spelling words and three sentences or a sheet of addition sums) takes to complete? Do you have to reassure them after every answer? It can take anything from 30 minutes to 2 hours, depending on whether the task is set out exactly as she remembered it from school, how hard or easy she finds it, how stressed she is, etc. She finds tasks where she has to make things up particularly hard, so writing sentences that use verbs are tricky.

How safe are they outdoors (with roads/stranger danger/stray animals)? She has a tendency to try to cross a road without looking, although it's fairly safe in general. More careless and inattentive than unsafe. Her 7 year old sister definitely has more safety awareness though. Her stranger danger is shocking. We were at a supermarket butcher's a few days ago and within a minute of seeing him she'd given him our full address.

Can they, or more likely do they wipe after using the toilet? Do you ever need to do it for them? She wipes but won't change her pants unless told to!

Can they manage buttons or zips fine? What about shoe laces? Depends on size of button, ease of zip about 50/50. Shoe laces are a no way. Her 7 year old sister can do shoelaces.

Do (particularly boys) at this age ever stop eating? Or do they realise that they are full? She doesn't stop eating. She rarely says she is full. We have to help her to recognise that she had eaten enough.

Do they communicate with ridiculous "funny" faces and made-up words from TV instead of just responding normally? For example if I offer DS a biscuit he will make a comical face and pant like a dog to signal that this is what he wants. He can talk, I don't know if all 8 year olds do daft things like this but he does it for everything! All.The.Time. the puppy dog panting and begging pose, the accents, the eccentric phrases, the signs. The lot.

BonesyBones Sat 14-May-16 11:58:18

I forgot to come back and thank you all, sorry. All of the answers were very helpful and the form is finally done! Thank you! star

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