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Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Behaviour/development

Hit a snag with the pasta jar... Advice!

31 replies

flamesparrow · 13/01/2007 14:53

Ok, so we sat and painted pretty glittery pasta...

We put 5 pieces in.

We have had a week of lovely behaviour in the hopes of new pasta, and sobs at the idea of losing any.

Nice n visual she seems to be responding quite well.

Today - the day to swap the pasta... I had a set amount that if she had it she could have a magazine - any less and she will get something else (dunno what yet).

Complete meltdown - she doesn't want to swap her pasta... she thinks its being "taken away" and is very distressed. Tried explaining that it was like pennies and she was giving them over for a magazine and then starting afresh, but she was still quite upset (she has now agreed to put them back into the starting pot).

How do I explain this better next week when we have the same problem?? I am aware that I didn't give her enough warning that this would happen (I told her when we set it up but not since)... is there any better way of explaining it??

She is 3.6 btw.

OP posts:

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hercules1 · 13/01/2007 14:55

My dd is about the same age and I dont know how you'd be able to explain it better for her to understand. I dont think dd would get it either.

WigWamBam · 13/01/2007 14:55

Would it work to get a second jar, and transfer it over to the second jar piece by piece as she earns it? So she doesn't think she's having it taken away, but can still see that she's earning it again?

hercules1 · 13/01/2007 14:57

What a good idea wwb.

MerlinsBeard · 13/01/2007 15:00

or if she is so adamant at having the pasta can she not make a necklace out of it and earn more next week?

flamesparrow · 13/01/2007 15:09

Oooh good idea WWB

MoM - its pasta twirls so not very necklaceable

OP posts:

Tommy · 13/01/2007 15:18

my DS is just 5 (recovering from party as I type!) and I would say that he has only just realised that swapping pastas for money is a good thing. I did wonder whether I should abandon the whole thing tbh because he didn't "get" it.
Perhaps your DD is a bit young for this? DS2 is same age as your DD and he juts likes having pastas but we've never counted them or swpaaed them yet!

DimpledThighs · 13/01/2007 15:25

Maybe if she doesn't understand the pasta being taken away you could get a big jar and tip it into that at the end of the week if she has earnt her magazine. Then you start the week afresh with the new empty jar but she can still see what she has got so far.

Bit like a savings account and a current account (!)

MerlinsBeard · 13/01/2007 18:09

i didn't know it was you Flame!!! pmsl @ not reading who posted!!!

tut @ pasta twirls

what wwb said then

amd next week get tubes lol

SoupDragon · 13/01/2007 18:16

Swap the pasta for chocolate buttons instead until she gets the hang of the exchange. Then she's getting something immediately for them and may well be distracted from the fact that you've only put back the starting amount in her jar.

SoupDragon · 13/01/2007 18:18

I used to line the pasta up in the table, count it and then place (in our case) a 10p piece directly above each piece of pasta so they could see the exchange.

InvisibleFlamesparrow · 16/01/2007 07:47

Not ignoring you - forgot I started the thread

Think we'll go with the chocolate buttons this weekend

kamikayzed · 16/01/2007 12:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

InvisibleFlamesparrow · 16/01/2007 12:34

Ooh that sounds good too... cheaper n everything

Enid · 16/01/2007 12:35

god I think the pasta jar is pants

over rated imo

princessmel · 16/01/2007 12:36

We have two jars and they are clear glass and on full display. We swap one marble ( instead of pasta) as soon as a good deed etc is done. This way they see the results straight away. And the marble doesn't get taken away.

Enid · 16/01/2007 12:38

hwo do you monitor their behaviour dont you have to watch them cosntantly for all good deeds/bad things

sounds knackering and faintly ridiculous

princessmel · 16/01/2007 12:48

Not at all Enid.

If I or DH think he's been particulary good/nice/helpfull/etc then he gets a marble. Simple.

InvisibleFlamesparrow · 16/01/2007 14:22

Same here - if it is noticable then it is rewarded... or more often it works as a bribe

DD needs to SEE things happening for good/bad the stairs just don't do it.

Enid · 17/01/2007 09:29

what if they are upstairs playing with their siblings and they do something rather lovely that you don't see?

SoupDragon · 17/01/2007 09:37

So what if they do??

Enid · 17/01/2007 09:38

so you don't 'reward' it

so has no worth in their eyes

batters · 17/01/2007 09:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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Enid · 17/01/2007 09:44

so how do you choose what is pasta-worthy?

batters · 17/01/2007 09:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SoupDragon · 17/01/2007 09:47

The same way you decide whether somethign deserves praise or punishment.

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