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Can anyone recommend a book/CD to help my DD (9) who is struggling with worrying at bedtime?

(24 Posts)
IHeartKingThistle Mon 09-May-16 23:30:55

She says when she tries to go to sleep all her worries come into her head and she can't get them out. She says she doesn't want to grow up and she doesn't want DH and me to die.

No recent trauma but I remember being the same as a kid and I don't want her to have to soldier through it. She loves reading and music so I was wondering if anyone had any recommendations that might help? She's lovely but she's up and down a lot at the moment and lying awake crying just makes her more tired, so it's a vicious circle. I do stay with her and talk to her and cuddle her but she's quite independent so I think something she could use to help herself would be great. She has worry dolls which help sometimes.


Iknownuffink Mon 09-May-16 23:57:36

I was going to suggest Worry Dolls but I see she has them.

You could try just normal, age appropriate audio books.

albertcampionscat Tue 10-May-16 06:57:54

Maybe a meditation thing? The headspace app is good.

FiveGoMadInDorset Tue 10-May-16 07:07:42

My daughter struggles with this, she has radio 4 on or radio 4 extra if we can get it as just the sound of voices help her go to sleep. She is 10

BrightandEarly Tue 10-May-16 08:43:44

No specific books to recommend but I was just like this when I was young, and my parents always encouraged me to read until I fell asleep. They'd come in and switch off the light and take off my glasses. They also told me that it's just as good to be resting and reading as it is to be sleeping, not quite true I guess but I know for me it removed the stress of having to fall asleep.

This habit still helps me now and DH has to remove my glasses

Good luck

Openmindedmonkey Tue 10-May-16 20:59:39

My 9yo DD is like this too, OP. It's horrible for her & sometimes costs her a couple of hours sleep a night.
I haven't heard of Worry dolls; how do they help?

KittyandTeal Tue 10-May-16 21:03:22

A podcast maybe?

I have struggled with anxiety and especially now when I get in to bed. I listen to a 'more or less' or 'infinite monkey cage' podcast before I sleep. I also have the app, sometimes I do the meditations an sometimes I just listen to the sounds (rain on leaves is my fav)

IHeartKingThistle Tue 10-May-16 21:06:51

here you tell each doll a worry then put them under your pillow. They're supposed to take your worries away.

Thanks for comments. Will try the suggestions! Last night I got her to look at a butterfly on her duvet cover and make up a story about it for me to hear in the morning. This morning she told me the story but hadn't got to the end yet so I guess she fell asleep while she was thinking about it! Tonight she's thinking of one about a squirrel. I daren't go and see if she's asleep yet!

Scone1nSixtySeconds Tue 10-May-16 21:07:49

What to do when you dread your bed is very good.

I also liked this cd

Can you tell I had a sleep refuser! Now she is 12 she likes some meditation apps, which i can link to if you'd like.

originalmavis Tue 10-May-16 21:12:00

There are some books like 'wonderful me!' and some Deepak Chopra (?), akso thw Akexander ones for kids who worry. There's also kids mediations/visualization CDs.

However as world class worrier since as early as i can remember, a favourite book (story or picture) works particularly well. I think at that age I was into the James Herriot books.

Writing a diary helps too - empties the brains before going to sleep.

originalmavis Tue 10-May-16 21:12:50

You can get worry dolls from Oxfam.

cheerfullady Tue 10-May-16 21:15:28

My 10yr olds bedtime has been transformed by Christiane Kerr meditation CDs for kids. We rotate between 3 of them and it's made a massive difference to her ability to 'switch off' and relax.

Wolfiefan Tue 10-May-16 21:16:36

A calm bedtime routine.
A worry book? She writes things down and you go through them together the best day.
Look at CBT and ways to reason he through her worries. Eg dad and I aren't ancient, we eat well, we exercise, we don't drink to excess or smoke, we have a GP to help us if we are sick. We aren't likely to die for a very long time.
What scares her about growing up?
Lots of. How will you feel about this in a week or a year? Let her see minor worries as minor.

WaterWorld Tue 10-May-16 21:20:14

On youtube you can find sleep relaxation tracks specifically for children - they tend to be guided meditation type of thing - we sometimes use one about a hot air balloon
There are quite a few to choose from, just listen to them first and try out one you think might help. DS is younger but they really help take the stress out of going to sleep.

Scone1nSixtySeconds Tue 10-May-16 21:21:33

cheerfullady yes, Christine Kerr is the one that i mentioned above. I like her too!

cheerfullady Tue 10-May-16 21:55:11

Shows i should have clicked the link Scone doesn't it?! I've dropped off a couple of times myself to them...

PJ67 Tue 10-May-16 23:10:52

I got a book for my son when he was about the same age and found it really helpful. It's called 'what to do when you worry too much' by Dawn Heubner. You can get it from Amazon.

Openmindedmonkey Thu 12-May-16 22:31:05

Thank you KingThistle, I will definitely invest in those. And thanks for starting this thread, too!
Love the idea of YouTube tracks.
Sleep well, PPs!

Rosenwyn1985 Thu 12-May-16 22:44:09

Prokofiev Peter and the wolf narrated by David Bowie is a favourite in our house. As is Cinderella and sleeping beauty (children's guide to the orchestra).

stealthsquiggle Thu 12-May-16 22:52:06

Marking place for the next 5 things to try with 9yo DD.

imip Fri 13-May-16 11:49:24

Place marking also :-) I currently tell 2 of my dds who worry a lot to dream that we are cartwheeling in spring down the side of a hill in France, and then we stop to make daisy chains!

Dd6 is concerned about me dying also, not helped probably by our open attitude to death as a result of losing dd1. Tricky stuff...

I'll try those apps, may be quiet useful...

IHeartKingThistle Tue 17-May-16 22:28:03

Thanks all. I've been having moderate success with getting her to make up stories as she goes to sleep. Works on good days but she's knocked very easily. Today she got a warning at school for talking (fair enough, shouldn't have been talking but not the end of the world ) and she was so upset and got herself into such a state that she had to go to the office to calm down. She rubbed her eyes till they are sore. She's been fine since but it was like she couldn't put it into perspective at all.

Time to try some CDs, I think.

takeaturn Tue 17-May-16 22:40:18

Some really good ideas here I'm going to steal.

My dd writes me a note and leaves it in a designated place. I read the note when she's asleep and reply.

It's not always grim stuff. She jots down achievements too. It's nice.

Openmindedmonkey Sat 21-May-16 22:21:08

Waterworld your YouTube links have been a perfect solution, my DD has gone to sleep, alone, with the Hot Air Balloon relaxation track for the last few nights. Bedtime has been transformed, thank you! Many many flowersandwineandstar!

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