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Struggling to cope with DS' behaviour

(5 Posts)
SardineJam Fri 06-May-16 06:51:00

DS1 recently turned 7. I have to admit I have always struggled to bond with him 😟but I do try very hard. I would say, for the past year or so, that his behaviour has become really difficult and I struggle especially because of the bond "issue". He shouts at me, has no respect and has started to become quite aggressive. DP on the other hand experiences impeccable behaviour (they have a great bond), and when I need DP to step in and help me tackle the discipline in a certain situation, DS1 obeys him straight away.
Despite not being close to DS1, I really want to be, but I just don't know what to do and how to tackle his behaviour.
Any advice/constructive criticism please...

Optimist1 Fri 06-May-16 06:54:19

Don't want to read and run - does your DP's intervention reinforce what you have said or tackle the issue in a different way?

SardineJam Fri 06-May-16 08:08:12

Thankfully Optimist1 he backs me up and reinforces with DS1 that he shouldn't be treating me the way he is

Optimist1 Fri 06-May-16 08:51:47

That's a lot to be thankful for! I'd suggest two things - 1) you shoud consciously make the effort to tell your DS when his behaviour has been good ("This afternoon has been happy hasn't it? Thank you for helping me with x") and 2) your DP should ask your son regularly how he has been behaving that day, reinforcing the idea that the two of you are united in your disapproval of bad behaviour and pleasure in good behaviour.

Don't over-stress about the bond thing - sometimes reading MN it appears that Good Mothers are consumed with love/admiration/empathy for their offspring at all times - IMO real life isn't like this!

SardineJam Fri 06-May-16 16:37:25

Thank you so much, yes I think there are so many things these days that have the ability to make us feel like we aren't doing a great job. I will definitely adopt your advice on what to do with DS 😊

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