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Do some children never point?

(12 Posts)
Runningbutnotscared Thu 05-May-16 00:06:16

I have a wonderful, happy, easy going 17 month old ds. I am very very lucky. He is great fun, eats and sleeps well..... but, despite myself, I am spending a lot of time worrying about the milestones he got to late / is missing.

He was late to wave (really he just flaps; mostly while laughing; often with both hands - I interpret it as waving), clap and walk. He has no words, just babbles, but his hearing appears to be fine.

He has a love of hard objects and cannot be separated from a duster on a pole atm grin. Duster on pole can be replaced with blue sticky thing if necessary, or a knife (!), a thing else leads to a very noisy ds.

He does not point. Although as I spend time reading to him, we have worked on pointing at things in books. While He's quite good at that, I'm not sure that's enough?
He has never brought me anything to look at, although he is happy to bring me the toy he wants to play with (mostly when I'm trying to get on with something else).

Like loads of other parents here I am worried about ASD, so I wondered if perhaps there were some people who's dc never pointed and didnt end up with an ASD diagnosis?

Runningbutnotscared Thu 05-May-16 00:11:04

.. ...also (sorry for the long post) he seems to have no sense of self. He can point to a noes In a book, or my nose, or his daddy's nose....or really anyone's except his own.

MattDillonsPants Thu 05-May-16 06:24:52

Does he have shared interest in objects? Bringing things to show you or to start a game? Does he pretend...as in pretend to feed a bear from a toy cup?

BarbarianMum Thu 05-May-16 07:40:11

The thing is, pointing is talked about because it's a good indicator of shared attention. When a child points it is showing you that they understand that you and they are separate beings (you don't necessarily know or see what they do) and they want to draw your attention to something that interests them. So teaching them to point at something (where's the dog, where's the ball) isn't the same thing at all.

To answer your question, ds1 rarely if every pointed as a toddler and is not autistic, nor did we ever worry that he might be. He didn't really wave much either but did share attention in other ways and did copy other things though. Ds2 did point but had a question-mark over him re: autism for several years. Age 8 I'm 99% sure he isn't on the autistic spectrum but has quite marked traits (his uncle has aspergers and there is a marked resemblance in certain respects).

I'm sorry you are worried about this - it's no fun, I know. Could I suggest you take a look at the MCHAT test on line? It's designed for 18 month olds (so your ds is still a little young) and works by you answering a load of questions about your child. At the end it gives you a score that indicates how much behaviour consistent with autism your child is showing (it is not diagnostic and everyone shows some level of the behaviors they look at ie no one gets a score of zero). So it won't give you an answer but may put your mind at rest or at least give you some grounds to take things further.

Runningbutnotscared Thu 05-May-16 12:10:10

Thanks for your replies-
Yes, he does bring books and toys to be played with.l, but he has no pretend play at all.

I've completed the MCHAT test then spoken to both the HV and GP. Both HV and GP say he is too young to assess and we would need to wait for a year or two. I think they both think I'm over anxious rather than actually listening to me. I was hoping by posting on here that they would be proved right!

Google is not my friend, I have rarely found any reports of children not pointing that didn't lead to a diagnosis. so it's reassuring that you say your children aren't despite having some markers, thank you.

NeedACleverNN Thu 05-May-16 12:18:10

Watching with interest..

I had Ds's development check a few months ago and she's coming again today because he is a bit behind in her eyes.

He doesn't like books apart from to chew them but she wasn't impressed that he won't point or turn pages in a book.

I can't remember Dd ever pointing though...

MattDillonsPants Thu 05-May-16 12:47:39

I know my DD didn't wave OP...it came on quite late...I can't remember about pointing. If he is babbling, bringing you toys to show him or play with then that sounds good.

You can encourage imaginative play by setting up a "tea party" for his bears and showing him how to do it...if he likes it then he will initiate it himself.

Is he noise sensitive at all or is he ok with things like traffic etc?

BarbarianMum Thu 05-May-16 13:21:21

OK then, my advice to you is as follows. Wait a couple of months then do the MCHAT again. If you are still worried then, go back to your GP (or go to another one) and tell them you would like a referral to a developmental paediatrician. By the time that comes through he'd be about 2 which is not too young for assessment (although it may not be conclusive). You do not want to be worrying for another 2 years if it can be avoided.

On a separate note, if you are trying to encourage imaginative play try all sorts to increase the chances of finding something he's interested in. Also note that being autistic does not equate (necessarily) with being unimaginative - you can be unimaginative and nt or autistic and imaginative. One thing to look out for as he grows up is whether he'll use things/toys in a way that they are not designed for eg pretend a corn on the cob is a phone, or that a box is a hat rather than always sticking to their intended purpose.

NeedACleverNN Thu 05-May-16 14:51:59

So my health visitor has just been and we are getting another visit in a couple of months.

It's all because he is "in the black" on some of his chart.

She asked if I was worried which I replied I wasn't. She also offered for a nursery nurse to come out and do some activities with us to encourage him. I said no it's ok thank you.

It's because at 14 months he doesn't point or say words more than mama and dada. Or does a lot of fine motor skills.

Moistly Thu 05-May-16 15:00:01

I cannot remember if dd pointed either actually blush
She didn't show a single bit of interest in holding a cup for herself til she was 1 though, which the HV told me was incredibly late confused

Moistly Thu 05-May-16 15:02:02

...she also hated "tummy time" and completely missed out crawling.

I wouldn't worry quite yet Op, it's nothing I'd have noticed (and didnt)

coffeemachine Thu 05-May-16 15:14:47

OP, I know a few kids in the UK who have been diagnosed with ASD before 2 and a fair few who got a dx between 2 and 3.

HV and GP are fobbing you off. I would insist on a referral to a developmental paed and take things from there. Assessing or ruling out ASD it not the remit if the GP/HVand they should tell you to go away and come back in a year. Just nag them. Can you take your DP or someone else along to see the GP? did the trick for me (wasn't simply a case of paranoid mum syndrome anymore) but I had to go back about 4-5 times until they referred us (got a dx if severe ASD in the end so my gut instinct was right).

be persistent, be a pain.

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