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(12 Posts)
cheekymommy69 Fri 22-Apr-16 12:10:04

Hello, Im new to this site and in desperate need of assistance.

My 11 year old son keeps bullying my 14 year old daughter, from what the school have told me it is getting quite serious and I really don't know what to do!

They seem to be fine when they are at home but then its like as soon as they get to school he begins to pester and bully her with his friends and then she comes home in tears daily, I honestly don't know what to do.

I have considered homeschooling her so that she doesn't have to go into school with him but I'd hate for him to then move onto another child and have other angry parents at my doorstep.

Me and my partner have taken everything away from him but the problem isn't at home because they get on fine when they aren't at school.

I really don't know what to do, ever since he moved up into secondary school everything seems to have changed.

CR smile

Newtobecomingamum Fri 22-Apr-16 14:52:51

Why should your daughter be taken out of school? She hasn't done anything wrong! I would threaten to move him school if the bullying doesn't immediately stop! If it doesn't stop, I would move him school and have serious restrictions and consequences as a result of his behaviour.

MigGril Fri 22-Apr-16 14:59:05

I agree with Newto if your daughter was happy before he started at the same school and sanctions aren't working then suggest that he changes school. He should be the one punished not her.

MrsOs Fri 22-Apr-16 15:04:07

If they get on fine at home i cant help but think its pressure from his friends at school... I would threaten to move him go a different school.. Its not her fault she shouldnt be punished

steppemum Fri 22-Apr-16 15:11:12

two things:

1. tell him he has x number of days to prove he has stopped before you put in a school transfer request for him. Any repeat offence, at WHATEVER point during his school career (even if exam year) and he will be moving.
Be very clear, this is not sibling stuff, this has gone beyond, this is bullying.

But also spell out what you expect his boundaries to be eg, do not approach her in playground, no texts to her etc.

2. Tell the school that they need to stop treating it like siblings and start treating it like bullying, so if they weren't siblings and his behaviour would earn him a detention, he gets a detention, if it would earn him a days exclusion, that is what happens. And ask that the whole group of them gets called up for it, so his friends take it seriously as well.

You and the school need to back your daughter.

I suspect, once he realises you are all taking it more seriously, it will stop.

Newtobecomingamum Fri 22-Apr-16 15:15:19

Excellent advice from Step!!

WonderingAspie Mon 25-Apr-16 11:52:09

I'd say move your son and not your daughter. Why should she be punished. I was also going to say if they get on at home, is he being encouraged to be horrible to her by his friends? Did they get on when he was younger and before he started there?

cheekymommy69 Tue 26-Apr-16 12:55:13

Thanks for all your advice! smile

We do think that it is his friends encouraging him and that is why he is bullying his sister.

We were planning on removing him from school but when we told him our plans, he revealed that he fancied a teacher and had kissed her in the past. We're not sure if this was just him wanting to stay in school and making up some sort of ridiculous lie but we're really puzzled on what the best move would be?

Sending Love! CR smile

gonetoseeamanaboutadog Tue 26-Apr-16 13:04:00

What's that got to do with whether or not you move him? Surely all the more reason to?

StKildasNun Tue 26-Apr-16 13:10:38


Newtobecomingamum Tue 26-Apr-16 15:46:35

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Newtobecomingamum Tue 26-Apr-16 15:46:47


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