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First child guilt when new baby arrives

(6 Posts)
Chocolateyclaire76 Thu 21-Apr-16 07:33:35

My new little one is 1 month old now and my other daughter is 3 and a half. I've spent the last week feeling so guilty at the lack of attention I've been able to give the oldest.

She's at preschool for 3 days but for the remaining 2 I've resorted to cbeebies, dvds and iPad as my newborn has colic and won't stop crying when awake. If I put her down and try to play with my 3 year old she will scream the house down. And don't get me started on bedtime when my husband is late home from work!

I know it's a phase but the guilt is killing me. It also doesn't help that my 3 year old is incredibly hyper and demanding.

Words of wisdom anyone?!

sulalovesbing Thu 21-Apr-16 07:40:18

I had my youngest when my oldest was 2.5. She wasn't at preschool and it was a case of DVDs and CBeebies. She didn't mind! Fast forward 9 months and she's at preschool (loves it), we're going to our Thursday group this morning and I have much more time for my eldest as my youngest is more mobile and well, interesting to her. Things have definitely improved and we are a little unit of 3 when dad's at work.

This too shall pass.

FitLikeQuine79 Thu 21-Apr-16 07:54:47

I could have written the same post. DD2 is 9 weeks old and DD1 is 2.5 and has been watching far too much tv for my liking the two days she's home with me (she's also in nursery three days a week). No words of wisdom but just to let you know that you're not alone and that the early days are hard so try not to feel guilty. I'm sure she gets plenty stimulation the other five days. I've been baby wearing which has been helping and we sit and read books or she makes me pretend cups of tea etc when I'm stuck on the sofa feeding. I've also had to leave DD2 to cry for a short time while I see to my eldest which is something I never did with DD1 but sometimes it's not possible to see to them both and it's quicker to just get her sorted and get back to the baby. DD1 was colicky so you have my sympathies as it's tough. The crap weather hasn't helped and I've felt like we're all getting cabin fever at times but hoping to get out more now. As pp said, this too shall pass.

Chocolateyclaire76 Thu 21-Apr-16 10:28:30

Thank you for your support! I know from my first that everything is just a phase and will soon be replaced by something else but it's so easy to become consumed by feelings when you experience them each day - on minimal sleep!

cornishglos Thu 21-Apr-16 19:26:04

I felt guilty at first but little one is 6 months now and the two if them adore each other, laugh constantly and wouldn't be without each other. No more guilt.

bittapitta Thu 21-Apr-16 19:33:29

It does get better OP! I felt the same at the start. Remember it won't be the same forever and remind daddy, family, friends they should lavish attention and entertainment on your eldest where possible!

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