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Racist comments from 3 year old

(6 Posts)
Rowanhart Sat 16-Apr-16 17:54:22

We are a family where race has is not an issue and my 3 year old goes to a lovely multicultural nursery which celebrates difference.

So what has just come out of her mouth has floored me and I have no idea how to deal with it and how far I should investigate.

We're watching an advert about an Ethiopian girl collecting water.

3 year old: 'She is black'
Me: 'Okay, that's right.
3 year old: 'Her Daddy has left her.'
Me: 'Erm.'
3 year old: 'Black Daddies are naughty'
Me: 'That's not true'
3 year old: 'Black daddies kill the boys and girls. Black daddies are evil.'
Me: 'where did you hear about black Daddies?'
3 year old: 'Black people are naughty'
Me: That's definitely not true. Who talks about black people to you?'
3 year old: 'Nobody.'

1) I am heartbroken because she has picked up racial difference from somewhere and someone who doesn't live under this roof.
2) seriously, WTAF?!?!?!angry
3) how do I deal with this?

Afreshstartplease Sat 16-Apr-16 17:56:12

All it takes is one child at nursery to have heard this their selves and repeated it and she could pick it up

APotterWithAHappyAtmosphere Sun 17-Apr-16 09:08:31

That is pretty extreme, I would be talking to the nursery although more in a letting them know way, so firstly they can keep an eye out to see where it might be coming from and secondly if she says it again at nursery, then they won't think it's come from you.

It might be as simple as a storybook which she has misinterpreted or extrapolated. My DS will often assume that if he sees one example of something then that is how it always works.

I would try to find lots of examples to counter this belief, but in the most natural way possible - e.g. seek out books with multicultural characters at the library, look at images of happy and varied families of all backgrounds online and talk about the different types of family there are.

TheWildRumpyPumpus Sun 17-Apr-16 09:23:55

She must have picked it up from nursery - while your DD doesn't hear such things at home, sadly other kids will. Or is she exposed to news stories at home which she's picked up this impression from?

Does she know any black men in real life? I'm mixed race and moved to a village last year where there are only two non-White families. Children round here can easily not 'know' any black people socially, but it sounds like your area is quite multi-cultural.

I'd only talk about it again if she brings it up - as a PP said, look for picture books with different races in, or watch Doc Mcstuffins etc gently change her thoughts.

Morningbirdsong Sun 17-Apr-16 09:27:55

Eek, yes OP sounds like she's heard something at play school?

DD said something similar at 5. We dealt with it by speaking to the school and DD. She's 10 now and hasn't ever said anything again.

Rowanhart Sun 17-Apr-16 20:43:23

Thanks everyone for the reassurance.

I am just doing lots of positive enforcement of racial difference. At church today we went to look at the beautiful babies of a Pakistani family.

'They're so cute like <baby brother's name>, she says.

Honestly, worry about who it is she heard it from though.

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