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Could my nearly 3 year old son have ADHD? Advice needed please.

(14 Posts)
Kismet9 Mon 11-Apr-16 14:57:47

Hello mums,

I am starting to become more concerned about my son, and am wondering whether he exhibits normal toddler behaviour or does he perhaps have ADHD.

He is extremely lively, active, determined and stubborn. He seems much more challenging and full on than other children his age. For example, I took him to a soft play centre today (along with my newborn baby) - he is always running away unless he is in a confined space, he does not respond to instructions - unlike similarly aged friends. My friend told him off today for pinching her son and then a little while later when it came to leaving, my son ran away into the area for the older kids. I stopped him, tried to get him to come home, but he had a major tantrum, lying on the floor and head-butted me, eventually escaped and ran off again, thankfully my friend was able to grab him. I felt really upset as a result.

He is generally quite destructive at home, throwing things, etc. He is very physical, likes climbing on things, and requires constant attention, and so my newborn, who is pretty chilled gets neglected.

He is however very bright, affectionate/loving generally and has excellent speech. He doesn't concentrate well on toys/play and generally doesn't play much on his own and prefers to seek attention from me by generally being mischievous. Crafts get a look in for about a minute. He will concentrate on his favourite tv programmes and films which means I often have to utilise this unfortunately. He has been even more challenging since the birth of his younger brother despite lots of attention and reassurance.

I spoke to the health visitor and she said his behaviour sounded in the normal range and that the last thing I would want is to give him a label.

His nursery have raised some minor issues but nothing major.

Any thoughts/advice would be most welcome.

Thank you in advance.

Jennaxox91 Mon 11-Apr-16 17:04:05

Your son sounds exactly like my son. I have talked too health visitors and doctors I keep getting told them same thing over and over "hes just being a boy". Seriously!!

Dellarobia Mon 11-Apr-16 17:39:33

Your son sounds to me like a normal active slightly naughty 3yo. It's impossible to rule out ADHD over the internet, but I wouldn't have concerns from what you have said. (Not that I'm a professional or anything - just comparing your DS to my own DC and others I have known!)

QuiteLikely5 Mon 11-Apr-16 17:48:18

Some children are more energetic than others and I wonder if your ds needs more physical activities than he gets at present. This can calm the more energetic children just by being outdoors.

Also when in the soft play did he have sugar? It effects children in different ways and in these places I only offer milk or water - if eating then it's something basic but as unprocessed as possible.

He will settle with age

fancyacoffee Mon 11-Apr-16 17:55:23

My son has been just like this (worse even) since he was 18 months old. He's now just over 7 and exactly the same - although it's worse now as he's bigger and I'm older and more worn out hmm. I'm certain he has a form of ADHD just not sure if/how to get a proper diagnosis or leave it (bury head in sand) and how the next year pans out. Generally the medical professional wouldn't give a diagnosis of anything like this - Inc dyslexia etc - until the child is around 7 anyway. Over the years I've just reassured myself that al adults are different with different energy levels, attention spans, temperaments etc in the same way that kids are. VERY hard work though so you have my sympathy flowers

jimijack Mon 11-Apr-16 17:56:34

Sounds like mine too.

My older boy was everything you describe but additionally did not all..ever.
I survived on about 3/4 hours sleep a day until he was 5 and at school.
I had to "walk" him twice a day, around the block to burn off energy.
Compared to his peers he was completely different behaviour wise.
I didn't allow sugar, fluids were milk or water only and yet it made no difference whatsoever to him.

Now as a 13 year old, he is perfectly normal.
My 3 year old however is similar. NOT worried, not at all.

It's just the way he is.

Kismet9 Mon 11-Apr-16 20:56:50

Thanks everyone, it is helpful to hear from others with similar experiences, especially as I am fed up of always feeling like my son is the one misbehaving whenever we are out - though I try not to worry what other people think!

Often when I feel l am making headway and his behaviour has been good for a few days, I perhaps become a bit complacent and then behaviour becomes more challenging again. It is also really hard to know how best to manage it - I am being too soft, too harsh or too inconsistent!

I try to get him out the house once everyday which is often very difficult with a newborn, especially as my son often runs off leaving me caught between a rock and a hard place, as I have the newborn with me! He won't wear a wrist strap, backpack or reins. However, he is getting better at using the buggy board.

I could try restricting foods more however I can't say I have noticed any patterns so far.

I will give him some more time before I pursue any kind of medical help.

Jimijack - I don't know how you coped but I am pleased to hear all turned out well! I have to sit next to my son's bed whilst he plays with my hair for him to get to sleep.

Thanks again everyone x

Mishaps Mon 11-Apr-16 20:58:43

He's got a new sibling! - that might be relevant.

Kismet9 Mon 11-Apr-16 21:12:32

It hasn't helped, but he was always like this even before the birth.

5minutestobed Mon 11-Apr-16 21:15:40

Sounds fairly similar to my just turned 3year old. I hadn't considered he is anything other than a normal toddler tbh! Having a new sibling will probably make his behaviour more challenging as well.

ilovesthediff Mon 11-Apr-16 21:21:56

Mine is nearly four with younger sibling and similar. It is an age thing for some I think. Please don't worry.

PrincessHairyMclary Mon 11-Apr-16 21:23:27

Sounds like a normal active child to me.

I work with teens with ADHD and it's clear by their eyes because they are almost wild, darting looking this way and that if it makes sense. Their behaviour whilst 'naughty' is never malicious they struggle to follow directions and stay focus on anything without shouting out in class etc but always apologise they aren't doing it purposefully they physically can't stop themselves.

Kismet9 Mon 11-Apr-16 21:33:47

Okay thanks all, perhaps I am overreacting! X

jimijack Tue 12-Apr-16 21:18:17

I was a walking corpse, I worked too.

It impacted on our decision to have another child.
I literally could not cope with anything else.

I stopped going out for about a year. I saw the look on friends/family members faces as we turned up at their houses and knew that they dreaded it.
I completely stopped going anywhere.
I ended up on antidepressants.

He kind of settled as he grew. When older we had lots of activities for him, football practice, sports clubs a trampoline in the back garden, bikes/scooters as he is a very active kid. This helped enormously I think.
Never interested In electronic devices that his peers were into, he couldn't sit for long, got bored.

All is ok now, he is pleasantly busy mostly.

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