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Napping struggle! BIG BIG struggle

(18 Posts)
Gappyranks Sat 09-Apr-16 16:14:29

Hi mama's,

I have a 11 week boy- we had a traumatic birth and he was in intensive care for the first week of his life.

I am having huge issues getting him to nap, he needs it as otherwise he is super cranky and just starts crying. I am having to pace with him in a sling while patting him to get him to sleep which is killing me as it's now been going on for the last 6 weeks. If I do this he will take a 2 hour nap- waking up slightly but my patting and pacing around the house makes him go back to sleep. Unfortunately he doesn't even let me do this while taking a walk- it has to be at home! Which is driving me up the wall. I try my best to read the sleepy cues and have tried swaddling, white noise, brought a swing- I think iv tried it all but still no luck.

I really need help and he is still not taking the bottle meaning I'm get zero break.

He however is very good at night, sleeps from 8 for 4-6 hours, feds and will keep going down in bed till 6-9 am.

Then my dreaded day begins again of pacing and battling with him.

I would love some advice from mums who have been through this and when will it get better?! As it's been going on for 6 weeks and I'm shattered. He is a very light sleeper and when he naps on the sling it's very RED and it seems like be really fights his sleep and when he is about to drift off he gets really angry at the thought of going to sleep.

My HV was very unhelpful and told me to buy a car seat.... I don't have a car.... no one has been able to help me.

I'm just so envious of those us who are a to take naps with there babies in bed or on the chest as iv only had him sleep on my chest once....

Gappyranks Sat 09-Apr-16 16:21:59

Excuse the spelling and errors- RED and MUMS

Gappyranks Sat 09-Apr-16 16:23:12

REM!

Jw35 Sat 09-Apr-16 16:27:35

Hi that's sounds difficult! thanks this probably won't sound helpful but I'd quit trying to make him nap. I'd also avoid white noise and other sleep aids. Just let him be awake or asleep during the day and concentrate on good night habits. Yes he might cry more and yes he does need lots of naps but I think he needs to drop off in all situations at that age and not stuck rigid in one napping method. In the long run carrying him around the house for a couple of hours a day in a sling and being so restricted will be harder than allowing him to nap when he wants. Try going for walks on a sling or buggy, putting him in a Moses/crib and gently rocking then lying down in a bouncer or crib. He will fuss, cry and generally make your life awkward but eventually he will have to give in to sleep! Check for reflux or colic, perhaps he's not comfortable?

sleeplessinmybedroom Sat 09-Apr-16 16:28:46

Have you tried just putting him down in the cot or Moses basket? Sounds silly but my Dd was like that, I tried rocking, white noise, patting, swing, bouncer to get her to sleep then I figured out she just liked to be left alone to sleep. I started putting her down with her dummy and within a few minutes she'd be asleep.

Gappyranks Sat 09-Apr-16 16:42:28

Hey, thanks for your response- I get what your saying and never thought of it like that. Honestly it's the crying that gets to me and also find when he naps he sleeps better in the night. Also your suggestion is this not too young to letting him cry it out?

Gappyranks Sat 09-Apr-16 16:44:35

I have tried this but he just looks back at me thinking are insane woman. It's so tough I just want to cosy with him and sleep! Sounds so silly and simple but it's a dream!

Gappyranks Sat 09-Apr-16 16:46:29

Also he has silent reflux but it's so much better and he sleeps fine at night so not sure why it would stop him sleeping in the day? He gets tired while feeding but as I get him up to burp him he is wide awake and he has refused so many dummies.

SpeakNoWords Sat 09-Apr-16 17:22:15

I don't think the PP was suggesting crying it out, which would mean leaving your baby on its own to cry until it gave up. I think she meant that you could try doing different things, and the baby will sleep when it sleeps. At this sort of age I don't think I ever actively tried to get my DS to sleep iyswim, I just took him out for walks in the pram or fed him until he fell asleep. So I might take him to a baby group/activity in the morning and then he would fall asleep in the pram on the way home. Swimming was a good one for getting him to sleep afterwards.

Also, do you have to get him up to burp him? What happens if you don't?

sleeplessinmybedroom Sat 09-Apr-16 17:25:00

Dd had silent reflux too. It's tough. I'm definitely not saying to cry it out. I just thought I'd mention it.

Gappyranks Sun 10-Apr-16 09:47:16

Thank you. Will try just leading the day. I just get scared as when he is over tired he cries alot and I had to do a train journey with him and he cried so much that others on the train came upto me and said I should give him gripe water! It made me feel bad as I thought I can't calm my own baby.

Jw35 Sun 10-Apr-16 12:52:33

Definitely don't mean leave baby to cry! I'm actually dead against this method. I just meant stop trying so hard or worrying about his naps! Lots of different places to sleep, try different approaches maybe. Reflux is a bugger I know as my dd had it and yes it is possible it could cause issues with naps even if he sleeps well at night. Your baby does sound a bit uncomfortable! What have you tried? Anti reflux formula worked well for my dd, are you breastfeeding though? Slings are great but it does seem strange it takes him so long to settle in one! My dd would go off in minutes at that age in a (wrap) sling.

I remember a friend of mine having trouble with her baby getting off to sleep in the day, she would try the same things rock in her arms for ages and feed, nothing worked. Then it turned out he was more comfortable on his tummy. I know the guidelines are back sleeping until 6 months but my dd slept much better on her tummy as do many reflux babies. If you do try it just make sure you lay him on a firm mattress only with no pillows or soft things under his head.

I hope you get to the bottom of this fussy period. Do mention it to your health visitor or gp. It could be he needs different meds for the reflux thanks

lilian3 Sun 10-Apr-16 17:54:24

If babies have reflux I was advised to put baby down in crib, cot, but laying out and slightly on their side with a soft rolled up towel along their back this way the acid causing the reflux can drain away. Sometimes babies do just want to be put down. Think of how we feel after a long hard day how great it is to get into bed and 'lay out' also it might be an idea too see if he is getting enough food and maybe allergic to ordinary milk. Good luck.

Gappyranks Sun 10-Apr-16 21:15:32

Thank you for your suggestions! I managed to go for a 2 hour walk and he slept... so was really nice to get out. We are going down the homeopathic route for his reflux as he reacts to medication badly. I hope he settles as at night he does well but will be more relaxed about daytime naps.

Jw35 Sun 10-Apr-16 21:28:32

Anti reflux milk is just thicker so easier for them to keep down if you wanted to give that a try. Really hope things get better for you op! Glad you had a nice walk. Congrats on your teeny baby..I'm so broody but my 3rd dd is due in July! Can't wait smile

Gappyranks Tue 12-Apr-16 15:51:16

Ahhhh congrats and thank you. It's so hard as I know he wants to sleep but just won't let go. My patience is running thin- I don't mind him being up if he just would stop crying. It feels like if I don't make him nap it will just build up to be a massive cry. Honestly it's driving me a bit mad.

minipie Tue 12-Apr-16 23:10:06

Sounds like overtiredness. Some babies are more prone to it and just get wired instead of sleepy and then they need motion to get to sleep? What time do you start trying to get him to sleep in the morning? Should be no more than 1.5 hours after he wakes for the day at that age, iirc. If you can catch him for that first nap before he gets overtired, you may find it's easier to get him to fall asleep and stay asleep. And if the first nap goes well then the next on will too... At this age he should have three naps a day or even 4 if they are short...

Gappyranks Sat 30-Apr-16 10:58:23

Hi. Thanks for your support- he gets tired after being awake for 1 hour, so I usually start as soon as I get a cue- bit honestly still no luck. He just doesn't let go! Really want it to get better so I can stop being on this mission of getting him to nap and enjoy my maternity with him. He does get overtired as while I'm trying to put him to sleep he just doesn't so gets worked up and upset.

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