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Uses the toilet excuse

(14 Posts)
WalkingBlind Sun 03-Apr-16 15:09:41

Every time DD (3 yrs) is punished or goes to bed at night she's cries for the toilet (at nighttime she comes downstairs, she's only allowed to do that to go to the toilet). I always send her seconds before each of these instances. She obviously sees it as a way out of having to be quiet the cheeky madame.

I can't not take her on the off chance she isn't fibbing and sometimes she's done something while we are there. If I say "no you've just been" she screams "I really need to go, it hurts, owww, please" blush

If she doesn't do anything then she says I have to stand there til she does! And if I try to remove her she has a screaming break down and begs that she "really needs to go" (clearly not).

I've explained until I'm blue in the face. What do I do from here? It's starting to really really wind me up angry She knows it's the one function that normally cant wait so she's gets to leave time out/bed

firewithfire Sun 03-Apr-16 15:12:42

Can you put a potty in her room?

TheFlyingFauxPas Sun 03-Apr-16 15:15:58

I swear ds used to force a poo out the minute I popped him in his cot. He's now 13

TheFlyingFauxPas Sun 03-Apr-16 15:18:23

And he still uses it as an excuse not to go to bed, get changed, do homework, tidy room, have a shower etc etc. Sometimes he can sit there for over an hour.sad

primarynoodle Sun 03-Apr-16 15:20:04

I would also do potty in bedroom

WalkingBlind Sun 03-Apr-16 15:24:05

She's never used a potty before, I don't think she would now? She just uses the adult toilet like us

WalkingBlind Sun 03-Apr-16 15:25:01

Oh god TheFlying that sounds like a nightmare! That would really agitate me confused

TheFlyingFauxPas Sun 03-Apr-16 18:08:46

Oh by the way he was wearing a nappy when he used to do it in his cot!! And yes, agitated doesn't even touch it 😉

MadSprocker Sun 03-Apr-16 20:48:18

Perhaps the option of the potty offered would be such a horrifying prospect she may stop it! Or for the bedtime routine set up a reward chart. If she goes to bed without getting up she gets a sticker. Five stickers and she gets a treat. For my ds2 his favourite treat was to go on the Wii. It's a question of finding the right reward. In terms of the punishment, take her to the toilet, but continue the timeout (or whatever) when she has finished, just for 2 minutes.

primarynoodle Sun 03-Apr-16 21:07:07

If ive read your op right then i understand toiletting isnt an issue and the point of her fussing is actually to get attention/get out of bedtime.. the potty could work well because

A) if she is telling the truth there is a viable option for her to go to the toilet without creating a fuss
B) any further whinging can be dealt with according to your rules (that she has to be quiet at bedtime) without her trying to pull the toilet card

This situation would drive me mad though!

Flossiesmummy Sun 03-Apr-16 21:21:46

I'd call my Dd's bluff.

I'd say in a calm moment to her that I've noticed that she needs to go at the times you mention. I'd talk it through and say that you know she doesn't really need to go. Tell her that next time she will only have the option of the baby potty in her room or to admit that she doesn't really need to go.

I'd bet that providing you're firm and clear, she'll quit messing around.

By the way, my Dd (3) has tried this in the past when she's left with the part of her food she likes the least. I just say to her "oh, you need the toilet? You'd better eat your ( insert name of food) quickly otherwise you won't get there in time"

9 times out of 10 she doesn't need to go. If she really does, she'll wolf down her food and take herself to the loo afterwards.

At the moment, you're in a power struggle and your daughter is winning hands down sad we've all been there but defo work out a plan to take back the role of boss!

Good luck

tacal Sun 03-Apr-16 21:26:33

Its a difficult one. If it were me I would probably continue taking her to the toilet but give her as little attention as possible and then straight back to bed. My ds uses the toilet twice before bedtime. Can you fit in an extra visit to the toilet before she goes into bed? My ds does manage to pee twice. Once before brushing teeth and once after. It has stopped him having to pee during the night.

Dellarobia Sun 03-Apr-16 21:53:44

When my DD was a newborn, DS1 would suddenly decide he needed a wee the minute I started breastfeeding her!

I think it's pretty normal behaviour OP. Try not to let her wind you up - she's doing it to get a reaction.

Artioo2 Sun 03-Apr-16 22:14:54

My DS does this occasionally because he knows we're guaranteed to respond. I would do the same as tacal, take her whenever she asks but with minimal interaction - no arguing about whether she needs to go, no explaining, no talking. Just whizz her straight to the loo, let her take as long as she likes, but just respond to any interaction with 'it's bedtime darling, too late for talking' or something. I'd maybe not even put on the bathroom light if you can manage it. Make it so she gets nothing out of it, not even an argument.

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