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What punishment/consequence method do you use?

(12 Posts)
NeedACleverNN Thu 31-Mar-16 13:01:36

Never really needed one before but since Dd turned 3 it's like a switch has turned and she refuses to do anything she is asked.

I don't want to go over board with punishments but I need to prove I'm not a pushover and her behaviour will get her no where.

I am going for the warning and then time out with an explanation after wards as to why she was put into time out. She gets a kiss and a cuddle after saying sorry. She then gets a chance to rectify her behaviour such as putting her rubbish in the bin like she was asked to.

This sound ok?

BertieBotts Thu 31-Mar-16 13:06:15

Yeah I think 3 was about the time I started needing a "generic punishment" too. I tried time out but he wouldn't stay where I left him unless I put him in a room and held the door closed, which felt awful and then became a game anyway as he would just pull and pull the door until it opened a tiny bit and laugh.

TV ban for a token amount of time worked. We still use it and he's 7 now. It's not scary, mostly annoying, and easy to enforce - I just used to take the batteries out of the remote or discreetly flip the switch on the plug when he couldn't see me doing it and he wouldn't be able to put it back on. Rarely needed these days smile

Knockmesideways Thu 31-Mar-16 13:09:58

We did the same with DS, now about to turn 9 (where did that time go...)

We actually got to the stage that we would say 'if you don't behave by the time we've counted to three you'll be on the naughty step' and he'd stop before we finished saying 'two'.

Now it's TV or computer time that's limited if he misbehaves. Seems to work for the time being!

TeaBelle Thu 31-Mar-16 13:12:51

Dd is a bit younger - I'm just starting to need consequences. I'm aiming for natural consequences at the moment eg if she throws she gets a warning and then the toy gets put away as she can't play with that one nicely, if she touches the tv (by climbing over the barriers we have in place to disused her!) She gets a warning then the tv goes off.

BertieBotts Thu 31-Mar-16 13:13:45

I used it for stuff I couldn't do any other way like hitting or getting him to calm down when he had gone totally hyper. I think you do have to be careful not to start using it for everything. For stuff like throwing away a bit of rubbish I didn't bother. It was more "When you've tidied up your rubbish, then we can <whatever he is bugging me to do>" and just didn't allow moving on to the next activity because the current one wasn't completed.

BertieBotts Thu 31-Mar-16 13:14:50

And YY logical related consequences are better. But you do sometimes need a generic.

NeedACleverNN Thu 31-Mar-16 13:17:19

Yeah I did wonder if I went a bit OTT with the rubbish thing but the point is she just looked at me and threw it on the floor. When I asked her to pick it up and put it in the bin which she usually does she just said no. I initially went with not letting her walk away until she had done it but she started running away and laughing when I brought her back to the rubbish spot. So in the end I tried the time out and it worked but I don't want to use it for every little thing

That1950sMum Thu 31-Mar-16 13:20:07

As TeaBelle says, I think the punishment needs to make sense based on the misbehaviour. Strop at tea time = no pudding, arguing about TV = no TV, messing about at a playground = leave playground etc etc. I never made a big deal of making children say sorry. Seemed a bit meaningless and formulaic. Sometimes they volunteered a sorry, sometimes they just showed they were sorry by sorting out the behaviour. It is important for young children to understand that behaviour has consequences - lovely behaviour means they can be taken to lovely places, poor behaviour means they miss out on the fun stuff!

PurpleTraitor Thu 31-Mar-16 13:24:01

TalkinG, really

I mean if the behaviour is affecting others I will remove child from situation but that is for politeness to the other people not punishment for the child

We mainly just talk about it and that is enough

GinGinGin Fri 01-Apr-16 21:54:36

OP, I do exactly the same as you (whilst trying (& not always succeeding) not to shout)

parrotonmyshoulder Fri 01-Apr-16 22:01:42

I quite like the book '1,2,3 Magic' for discipline when you need it at this age. I find it stops me getting annoyed and I just deal with the behaviour. But I do it alongside lots of modelling and reinforcement of good behaviour too.

MadamDeathstare Sat 02-Apr-16 02:49:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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