Please help me potty train my 5 year old!!

[snorepatrol]

My DD has ASD has an understanding level of about a 2 year old (3 word level understanding) and is non verbal and I'm having such a difficult time potty training her.

She only does mornings at school at the moment due to her ASD she's supposed to start full time in September.

She has been 'potty trained' as in completely dry for wees for about 12 months and by this I mean she doesn't tell anyone or give any signs she needs a wee but if she is put on the toilet every couple of hours she will wee on the toilet and not in her pull ups/ knickers.

She won't poo at school usually which is a bonus as I don't want her becoming a target for bullying. So I just send her in school with knickers with a pad in incase she does poo (not happened yet though)

But I'm really struggling to get her to poo. I'm sick of potty training to be honest we started when she was about to turn 3 and she's 5 now so we've been 'potty training' for over two years and I just don't know what else to do.

I've tried
Sitting her on the potty regularly - she will just poo in her knickers with no warning

Watching her for cues - I just don't get any she will be happily playing no 'poo face' no going quiet nothing all of a sudden I will smell poo and know she has pood her knickers again. She is not upset by it, she's not distressed by the feeling etc

Tried sticker chart which was utterly pointless as she didn't really grasp why she was getting stickers

Even tried presents she loves hot wheels cars so I bought her a few of them for each time she did a poo but she just cried because she couldn't grasp why she couldn't have the cars which made me feel awful.

I tried sitting her holding an egg timer (might sound weird but she uses this anyway at school and when we need he to sit still for a few minutes as a visual prop)

I've bought story books about going to the potty and gone through them with her.

Taken her with me and explained what I'm doing

Nothing seems to help ( I've tried all these strategies over two years for a month or two at a time so I'm not swapping and chaging strategies every week and confusing her)

I can literally put her on the toilet, she will sit there three minutes and will then poo on the way downstairs.

She doesn't have a 'regular time' but I think she does have bowel control as she used to go any time of the day and she has never had an accident at school so I think she definitely holds it at school.

When we first started potty training she would hold her poo all day and then poo the minute we put her bedtime nappy on whereas now it can be any time of day.

I've been to the HV who weren't really much help and the school nurse told us she couldn't offer anything more than we were already doing.

Does anyone have any ideas? To be honest I just feel so stuck in a rut now I really don't know what else I can try. I'm just potty training ds now too and hoped that this would help encourage DD but it hasn't.

I can't think of what else to do?
She wears knickers all the time at home and when we are out I tend to put a pull up on her, (except school where she always wears knickers)

The pull up doesn't make a difference really she can be out all day wearing it then come home put knickers on and poo or she could poo in the pull up so she's not waiting for a nappy to poo iyswim

I'd appreciate any advice?

[jannier]

I Guess you have made sure she's not constipated and her stools are soft, often if they have experienced discomfort it can make them hold it. The feeling of security a nappy gives does cause problems in many children. Can she blow a balloon or bubbles? Its hard to hold in pooh if you blow. I would do a very active session , running bouncing etc as this stimulates the bowl then sit her on the loo and get her to blow a balloon or bubbles and see if this works.