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Two and four year old squabble constantly

(14 Posts)
Fizzy81 Tue 29-Mar-16 17:57:53

What on earth should we do?

We're at our wits' end with it and it's actually very hard to pick apart the incidents as they all seem to roll into one.

I think DS (4) is the instigator in the main. But the offending behaviour is insipid - basically winding her up. It's hard to punish him for it as there's not real specifics. Getting into her face, an arm squeeze here or there, following her about, taking away toys.

She reacts by screaming and screeching. She also reacts by scratching - which is totally inappropriate too. But it's her way of defence.

Does anyone else have this problem? It's like dealing with a box of frogs.

PotteringAlong Tue 29-Mar-16 17:59:23

Yes. It's doing my napper in today.

Lamu Tue 29-Mar-16 18:00:42

You have my sympathies op. Mine are like a pack of dogs one minute then cuddling like koalas the next. <sigh>

Fizzy81 Tue 29-Mar-16 18:03:33

Mine don't do the cuddling bit! It's like they can't stand each other and it upsets me and DH!

Sorry to others. I need wine.

gruffaloshmuffalo Tue 29-Mar-16 18:07:49

My boys are the same age.

I've taken to punishing them both. I explain clearly what will happen if it happens again. Especially if I'm out the room and can't see who started it. It seems to be working. It's the screeching that I can't stand

DeathMetalMum Tue 29-Mar-16 18:09:44

I think at that age we were out of the house a lot - because of this! Dd1 was in pre-school in the mornings and in the afternoon we were at groups or the park or had friends round, or sat at the table doing things like playdoh or sticking.

When dp was around we separated them as much as possible and they got along much better when the eldest had some time alone. We would take one upstairs to play, do puzzles or games.

Can't remember how exactly we dealt with incidents but mostly we tried to avoid them. I think toys got taken away if they were argued over too much, lots of explaining not hitting mostly to the younger one in our house dd1 was the brunt of many of dd2's wacks and didn't retaliate. I remember wishing she would just once, as it might have stopped dd2 from hitting her so much.

Lamu Tue 29-Mar-16 18:11:03

It will pass. I think.

<swigs gin>

For us dd2 2 next week is less verbal than dd1 was at the same age. She gets frustrated with her older sister being a tease so she'll pinch or scratch. It's all very sneaky and I rarely actually catch her in the act. Nonetheless it's very exhausting being the referee.

MiaowTheCat Wed 30-Mar-16 07:40:36

I've got a 3 and almost 4 year old (11 month age gap) and they're bickering like mad at the moment. It's about 50/50 as to who's the wind up merchant and the eldest is a bloody drama queen reacting to it.

Think basically it's perfectly normal (and mine adore each other really) but very bloody wearing!

Twowrongsdontmakearight Wed 30-Mar-16 08:29:39

Sorry but mine only stopped recently (teens). They tell me it's perfectly normal for siblings to fight and I should chill. They're 3 1/2 years apart so I didn't get this until they were a bit older but basically I kept separating them! Dealing with their squabbles gave me my user name.

Cookingongas Wed 30-Mar-16 08:36:13

Mine are sometimes like that. Often like that two years ago. I took the route of punish both. Fair? Maybe not. But it was -is- effective. If nothing else it made them friends from having a common enemy (megrin) so they learnt to solve their squabbles between themselves to save both of them losing a toy/story time etc.

gruffaloshmuffalo Wed 30-Mar-16 08:37:03

Oh dear. I was hoping they'd get over it. Our main issue is that the youngest adores his older brother so wants to be doing everything the he does, causing drama.

Sometimes it's the youngest winding up the eldest but often it's the other way around and the eldest is slyer.

It's a lot of fun

TheWoodenSpoonOfMischief Wed 30-Mar-16 08:42:29

I agree with getting them out as much as possible.
Get them as tired as possible then maybe they can snuggle under a blanket together to watch a DVD or something.

HawkeyeInConfusion Thu 31-Mar-16 22:18:07

Mine also do their fair share of squabbling. It drives me up the wall.

One thing which has helped a bit is having a playpen. DC1(5) can retreat into it to play without being bothered by DC2(2).

Fizzy81 Sat 02-Apr-16 16:59:21

Hmm...I wonder if a kind of playpen could work. Designated play areas (their rooms) as soon as they squabble.

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