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Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Behaviour/development

4 years old - doesn't talk.

47 replies

Blink191984 · 27/03/2016 21:54

My 4 year old boy, doesn't talk. Hardly says 40-50 words.
Other things are kind of normal. Eats well, uses toilet fine. Plays well. Emotions are ok too.
I am scared that the school is trying to point out towards Autism. But i feel thats its a delay.
What should i do ??

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Fairylea · 27/03/2016 21:57

My son has quite severe autism but fairly good speech. He is nearly 4. They do often look to delayed speech as a sign of autism but it is far more complex than that. I would go to your GP and ask to be referred to a paedatrician who can begin the assessment process. They can refer you to a speech and language therapist.

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tacal · 27/03/2016 21:58

Are the school suggesting he should see a speech therapist? Do you want him too?

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ImperialBlether · 27/03/2016 21:59

Did he used to speak more than this? Does he communicate in other ways? Is he affectionate with you? My sister didn't talk until she was about 4 and there were no problems later.

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Blink191984 · 27/03/2016 22:07

Yes. I have already taken a speech therapist and an overall evaluation appointment. Both the evaluations will be done with in 15 days.
I am extremely scared and heart broken to even think in the direction of Autism.

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Blink191984 · 27/03/2016 22:08

Yes, he is very good at explaining himself with various ways. And very affectionate with family, cousins, animals. And enjoys almost everything.

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Blink191984 · 27/03/2016 22:10

When he was 1year old, we moved to French speaking country - Belgium. He was not talking more before. The speech development was like this always.

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tacal · 27/03/2016 22:13

Needing speech and language therapy does not always mean autism. Have you read about autism? There is lots of information on the National Autistic Society website. I read the information on their website when my son was 4 and it was clear to me that my ds does have autism. Maybe if you read it it will put your mind at rest. Good luck with the evaluation appointment. Don't be scared, you are doing the right thing for your ds.

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Blink191984 · 27/03/2016 22:38

Thanks for the support.

I would say that the "signs of autism" are mostly visible when he is at school. At home he is just fine.
I am confused with this kind of situation.

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KindDogsTail · 27/03/2016 23:00

I am so sorry you are worried about your little boy Blink.
I hope the evaluation will help you. It will feel like a very long time while you wait though and I hope you do not get too tired out from all the anxiety.

You said your little boy was very good at explaining himself in various ways. Does he also seem to understand what people say to him and enjoy exploring and playing with things and making up games for himself?

Like Imperial said, sometimes children are just delayed with speech but I realise you are very concerned.

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Blink191984 · 27/03/2016 23:05

Thanks.

Yes, he understands English & French very well. And follows what is being said.

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titchy · 27/03/2016 23:13

Bilingual children are usually a good year behind their monolingual peers. If there's nothing else about his behaviour that concerns you it's probably just him adjusting to French at school when he speaks English at home.

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VelvetCushion · 27/03/2016 23:19

You say "he,does not talk" You also say "hardly says 40-50 words"
So does he talk or not?
Reason im asking is my friends son who is 5 does not talk. Does not say one word at all. Just makes odd noises to communicate. He has been diagnosed with autism. Quite bad though.
If your son speaks which you do say hardly speaks 40-50 words then he must speak a bit. Perhaps he is delayed rather than autism. By the way you have described him he does not sound like he has got that.

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whatamess0815 · 27/03/2016 23:23

titchy, that is complete nonsense that bilingual kids are a good year behind. research has debunked this old chestnut and actually shown that often bi/multilingual children have better speech and language skills than their monolingual peers.

OP,I hope you get some answes soon. I am a bit shocked actually that he has not had any assesments yet as he is 4 already. are you only seeing a Salt or also a paediatrician?

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Ikeameatballs · 27/03/2016 23:27

How does he explain himself? What does he do to communicate his needs and wants directly to you? How much is him and how much is you interpreting behaviour that is not directed to you?

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KindDogsTail · 27/03/2016 23:27

He has been working out a lot in his mind if he understands two languages.
He sounds like such a darling child too - affectionate, enjoying everything and his family and animals.

I was interested by your post because I believe my (wonderful) grandfather did not talk for a long time, like Imperial's sister.

Having typed in Late Talking on search, I saw this PDF website the NAGC. I was wondering if you might possibly find an additional avenue for advice there? www.potentialplusuk.org/file_upload/factsheets/447P65%20Late%20Speech%20and%20Gifted%20Children.pdf

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Blink191984 · 27/03/2016 23:42

Velvetcushion, i meant that according to his age, he doesn't talk. He only says single words.

But says very clear single words like - water, juice, optimus, car, let's go.....etc

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Blink191984 · 27/03/2016 23:45

KindDogsTail, thanks for the link. I keep on looking for such check lists and reads.
I would say that where the Autism sign list hardly matches.

The list given at this link for late talkers matches fully. And exactly explains his personality.

Thanks for the pointers. :)

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KindDogsTail · 27/03/2016 23:47

Let's go is a phrase that seems invite everyone else to join in with him in 'going'.

Does he have other strings of words?

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VelvetCushion · 27/03/2016 23:48

Hope you get this sorted soon

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Blink191984 · 27/03/2016 23:49

ikeameatballs, he explains himself ver well.

For eg - his toy has stuck under the sofa, which obviously he cannot lift. And if i am in other room. He will come to that room and hold my hand and will take to the sofa room and will try to push/lift the sofa (pretend) and will point out under it.
Same way, if he wants the toy kept above the shelf, he will gesture to lift him, so that he can reach put to it.

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KindDogsTail · 27/03/2016 23:49

I am so please it might help.

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KindDogsTail · 27/03/2016 23:53

And if i am in other room. He will come to that room and hold my hand and will take to the sofa room and will try to push/lift the sofa (pretend) and will point out under it.

He certainly seems to be communicating with you Blink.

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Blink191984 · 28/03/2016 00:18

KindDogstail, yes. With his gestures etc, he is brilliant in communicating. But not verbally.

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tacal · 28/03/2016 00:40

My ds was diagnosed with autism at age 4. It does sound like your ds has much better non verbal communication than my ds has and he is 7 now. Good luck, I hope everything goes well and that you don't worry too much. Though I know from experience it is hard not to worry.

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strawberrybubblegum · 28/03/2016 10:48

Whatever the reason for the delay, it sounds like you need to get an assessment to identify what kind of help he needs to start speaking.

DH didn't speak until 4, and it turned out it was just that his siblings preempted his needs so well that he felt no need to! An assessment led to them changing their behaviour and he started speaking within weeks.

Maybe it's something similar, maybe it's something more fundamental. Either way, if he needs help, then you aren't doing him any favours by ignoring it. If he still isn't speaking when he starts school, that will make life harder for him.

Getting your son assessed won't change him. He'll still be your lovely boy - no matter what happens.