I do have this in chat too but thought I may get specialist advice here.
I'm really concerned about some of DS's behaviour. He is 8.
From a young age, if he disliked someone, then that was it, he would have nothing to do with them. It could be over something minor like they tried to snatch toy once, but that would be it. He was only about 2 when I noticed it. He isn't as bad now but if someone 'slights' him then it's like they don't get a second chance and he can be quite hostile to them.
There is a cat that comes in our garden, DS called it over (he loves animals) and the cat had always been friendly but it bit him and left a small mark, didn't draw blood. You would think it had tried to kill him! He has named it evil and will chase it away, just because of the one time it bit him nearly a year ago. He does not let things go ever.
He appears to dislike his younger sisters very existence. He can be lovely to her, really sweet if we are telling her off, he doesn't like it and gets very upset himself. But the rest of the time he speaks rudely to her and just doesn't seem to like her presence. Generally she adores him. I asked him today if he would rather she wasn't here and he seemed quite surprised and said of course not. I just said his behaviour towards her didn't show that.
He seems to have an issue with anger. If he can't get what he wants or he thinks something is unfair, he gets so angry. I thought he would grow out of it but it worries me. He is going to be big lad and he is strong. He has never been violent though. His anger just seems disproportionate to the event. He does calm down and I can talk to him and I told him to go off in his room and get his anger out, which he does but it's how angry he gets that concerns me.
I told him today I was thinking of taking him to the doctors about some of this behaviour because it isn't right and I'm concerned, particularly if he gets this angry as a teen or adult. But then he has never been violent so maybe I am totally overreacting. He got a bit upset when I said this today, so I felt awful. I brought the issue of the cat up and how ott his reactions are. We then saw the cat outside at tea time and he pointed it out calmly and said "oh look there it is, oh well" and carried on eating. I was quite suprised tbh so it makes me think am I overreacting.
I just don't want him to get much older, for it to be an issue and I could have done something when he was younger but didn't.
I just don't know and now I feel really bad for what I said to him today (DH was there too and we were both saying it). Today's incident was over a game he was playing with his sister, they argued about it, as usual, DD was not letting something go (she is 5) and in the end I just said to DS "she isn't listening, just leave it and go and play with your lego", not in a accusatory way, just in a calm way. DS took this as a telling off and stormed off upstairs crying and shouting and shouting things about DD. He seems to blame DD for anything, even when I have seen him do things. He just cannot own up to anything but today wasn't his fault and we never told him it was. When we pointed this out he admitted he thought we were telling him off but we told him we weren't.
He does seem to listen and take it in when we explain things, he is a bright boy but it is the overreactions. Another example, they are doing timetables challenge in school and he needs to do 2-12s in 5 minutes for the level he is on. We had a practice the other day and he made a mistake early on and wanted me to stop the time, I said no as this was a practice and it didn't matter, it is the point and he won't get it all right yet but he had an absolute fit and stormed off crying. He does this if he makes mistakes and will screw it up and say it or he is rubbish.
Is this normal and I'm worrying over nothing and he'll calm down as he gets older or am I right to be concerned?
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I'm concerned about DS's behaviour. Should I be worried or am I overreacting?
11 replies
WonderingAspie · 26/03/2016 23:44
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