3 1/2 year old doesn't make friends at preschool

(5 Posts)
DizzeeBorg Wed 23-Mar-16 16:02:33

My son plays nicely with children of my friends when we meet up (they might go upstairs and we can hear them chatting away so it's not always under adult supervision) but becomes a total recluse at pre-school. He has been going two mornings a week for 18 months and doesn't have a single friend. He would rather not go but is quite happy once there but he will always prefer to play alone.

Should I be worried?

MegBusset Wed 23-Mar-16 16:09:53

DS1 was the same at pre-school. He wouldn't even go outside to play. He liked to do his own thing and played alongside, not with, other children.

In reception he was also like this although he would go outside!

In Y1 and Y2 he started making friends, it took him a while but he made steady progress.

Now in Y4 he has a very good, small group of very close friends and I'm informed by his teacher that he's really popular with the whole class and they all want to pick him to work with.

So no, I wouldn't worry smile

DizzeeBorg Wed 23-Mar-16 16:21:14

That made me cry, thank you.

All the other children got invited to a child's birthday party today except my DS. Thankfully he didn't notice, but I felt so sad for him.

quencher Wed 23-Mar-16 17:45:24

I was like that and probably still is. When I was in nursery I remember playing with other children and never thought of calling them best friends and the lot. Sometimes just wanted time to myself and was happy about it. I was never left out of groups but never on the inside. Never felt bad about being excluded because I could easily entertain myself. I also think having lots of cousins To play with outside of school all the time helped. Played together, squabbled and made up and it was all fun.

This continued through to primary school where I had one main friend at a time with a circle of close friends. I was popular but never cliquy. I also do believe that this was the reason I was never bullied by anyone. When I didn't want play, that was it. People always backed off. Secondary, school was the same. Made lots of close friends that am still friends with and if I haven't spoken to them for a while that would not bother me.

With your son as long as his happy let him be. The good thing is he communicates with other children.

JuxtapositionRecords Thu 24-Mar-16 20:19:58

Mine was like this at first and she was also only a couple of mornings a week. I then increased it to 2 full days and the change was amazing! Made loads of friends, got really involved in everything, loads more confidence and loved going. I think when it's only half days they just start to open up/get into it and then it's time to go.

Would increasing his hours to full days be an option for you?

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