Tantrums at mealtimes

[Loops81]

My almost-2-y/o has always been a bit of a fusspot about food but lately it has stepped up a level. She often gets excited about a meal I know she likes, "helps" me to prepare it then climbs into her high-chair eagerly - only to then push the food away and start howling. Or she starts off well, then something inexplicable annoys her and she chucks it on the floor and flings her cutlery away. I'm at a loss: she has always had a tiny appetite but lately I've been trying to see beyond that and just make mealtimes happy times with no pressure and no battles. But she is making it very difficult! It doesn't happen every single mealtime but it's hard to predict and I'm now terrified to take her out or to friends' houses for meals. Is this "just a phase"?! Has anyone been through this before and survived?

[DoomGloomAndKaboom]

It's just a phase.

If she flings food, get her down with no recriminations or fuss, and ignore the tantrum.

[Jw35]

I'd say phrase! Do you tell her off for throwing cutlery or plates? I would. Do what you're doing and keep stress free but if she doesn't want it just take it away and don't worry. It's easier said than done but the best approach is to leave the eating up to her. Eat with her for every meal if possible (especially main meal) and eat yours and pay no attention. Limit snacks in between and offer water rather than juices or milk so she feels hungry.

[Loops81]

The weird thing is, though, that she often DOES want it. Today at lunchtime (in a cafe, embarrassing) she was screeching and fussing, pushing the plate away. We ignored her for a while then distracted her with some toys - then she was suddenly all, "eggs! lunch!" I just don't know what's going on in her tiny head.

[Jw35]

Haha! The definition of toddlers: tiny drunk people with pms! I'm sure you're doing a fab job!

[MissusBea]

My two year old has become more like this lately. He was a brilliant eater up to the age of about 18-20 months but lately he has been behaving in a similar way to the one you describe OP. He pushes his plate away and yells and cries for pudding or something different, and often eats very little. I am sure it is a personality phase and more about his need to assert himself than the actual food, as when we ignore him and focus on his one year old sister he will sometimes pull the plate back and quietly tuck in! So I agree, don't make a fuss, eat with her and focus on (vocally) enjoying your own food if you can. If she doesn't eat anything, clear it up without fuss. Sometimes we then offer a healthy snack a few hours later, especially if it is bedtime (like a banana) - we just try to act as if it's all a non issue