dd aged 3 won't wear trousers

[Chamonix1]

Last night she got hysterical, backing into a corner, crying uncontrollably and looked generally scared about the idea of having to wear trousers.
I've noticed she keeps rolling them up, along with her sleeves if they're long, but last night was very unusual for her and I felt really mean having to put them on her with help from dh. It was a real struggle and you could tell she was upset all evening.
This morning she went to playgroup trouser less, in her pants, top, jumper and shoes. Once she got there she felt rather embarrassed (only 2 other kids their but still felt a wolly) and put them on.
I'm concerned this is a sensory thing and really just don't know how to deal with it. It's way too cold to have no tights or trousers on but she gets hysterical over them. She's also rather obsessed with shoes, wants to wear them to bed, in the house, everywhere and gets really distressed when see can't.
How do you know if it's just a funny phase or something more?
Sorry for the rant, I'm at a loss as to what to do and dreading getting my her up and dressed tomorrow!

[willfuckformichilenstarfood]

I don't want to read and run. I have no solid advice for you. 3 year old are strange buggers who's world falls over daily. Hopefully it's just a phase

[Parietal]

my DD never wore trousers at 3 and still rarely wears them. no idea why, but I decided it didn't really matter and didn't force it. She would wear leggings and I'd give her thicker leggings in winter. Otherwise, she just wears dresses.

[GreenTomatoJam]

I don't know, but my 2.5 year old is the exact opposite. If you don't put trousers back on immediately after a nappy change then he lies there, immobilised, with a shocked look on his face begging for trousers.

I've read on here that some kids do have sensory issues with clothes - but mainly I've heard waistbands rather than the legs. Does she feel the same way about dungarees? Is it the legs that are the problem?

[mudandmayhem01]

She will wear pants, how about some long pants ( other wise known as cycling shorts!) will she wear a skirt or a tunic? I have a much older boy who won't wear long trousers ( only shorts) has survived all winter, doesn't get cold if he is warmly dressed on top. Pick your battles!

[SusanAndBinkyRideForth]

Sounds fairly normal to me. My 4yo dd has always refused to wear skirts, or tight leggings - has to be soft boy type joggers. There might be a bit if sensory stuff here but also might not. Ages been like this for 2 years.

My 2yo DD has recently started refusing to wear trousers or leggings - has to be tights and dressed.

I think they just like to have a say over something, and clothes is a good thing to exert their will, and I'm happy to let them if it saves a battle for something else!

[nulgirl]

Why does she need to wear trousers? My dd hated wearing trousers for years and still won't wear tights at the age of 9. She did agree to wear shorts, skirts or leggings though. T-shirt dresses were also a godsend. Have you tried any of these options? Three year olds can be very obstinate about clothes and I would try to find a compromise rather than battling every day. As the weather should start to get warmer having bare legs shouldn't be an issue.

[DangerMouth]

Dd1 (5) will only now wear trousers very occasionally. I don't think it's such a big deal though?

[poocatcherchampion]

My 2yo will lie with her legs splayed open for a nappy on but cries in the same breath if her t shirt rides up ans exposes her tummy.

Kids are weird.
Its probably fine.

Id just do skirts and thick socks and make sure she had vest and jumper. Warm torso is where it is at.

[IslaSinga]

My friend's Dd wouldn't wear trousers - only skirts, when she was 2/3

[Chamonix1]

Sorry, maybe I wasn't clear. She won't wear trousers, joggers, tights, shorts, nothing. She would rather go out and freeze her little legs off when it's 4 degrees outside than put anything on her bottom half. Literally.
It's not about her wearing what I want, I try and let her choose as much as possible inc taking her clothes shopping and her choosing but she won't actually wear them.
It's a big deal when she'd rather scream for an hour and miss nursery etc rather than get dressed and enjoy her day.

[Matilda2013]

My dsd has wore leggings about three times in the past year (5 year old). Every time it's a fight. She just prefers skirts and dresses so we do that and tights or socks dependent on weather. She's the same with pyjamas! Wants nighties and not trousers and tops (not even the awesome my little pony ones)!

[Matilda2013]

Ah X-post! Much harder to stick to skirts and dresses in winter if she doesn't like tights either. No advice sorry

[poocatcherchampion]

Small boys in public schools used to wear shorts all year round!

I'm being practical rather than actual helpful I know.

Don't stress - these things pass

[mudandmayhem01]

T shirt dress, just call it a t shirt ( clutching at straws here!)

[SusanAndBinkyRideForth]

Just let her wear long top tunic type dresses then. If she really gets cold she might let you put some leggings or joggerz on underneath.... Or maybe not of course - my 2yo dd has gone all winter in just a top - no coat or jumper she insists she's fine, and if you wrestle one on her, it comes off very quickly with added screaming!
On a couple of very cold days I did get a coat to stay on for a little while. But it's been a warm winter, she's come to no harm.

[Chamonix1]

Just going to have to ride it out I think and get some warm dresses for now. I was just concerned with just how upset she got and a few other behaviours that nursery had picked up that they feel could be something sensory etc. Hopefully it will pass.

[SusanAndBinkyRideForth]

Just make sure you ostentatiously carry any "missing" items of clothes for the tutters

The number of times I've offered to let people attempt to get a coat on dd2 after they've tutted about my poor neglected child. (Who has more jumpers, gilets, and coats than the rest of the family put together as we kept on trying ones she would actually bloody keep on!!)

[Chamonix1]

Yes, I can imagine. She hasn't worn a coat all winter too, just beat, long sleeved top and dress and have had many a comment from passers by.

[Chamonix1]

Beat? Vest*

[NotSoFancyPancy]

Ignore the comments. My 5yr old rarely wears a cost even in snow and for 3 years would not wear jeans or long sleeved tshirts.
We have had many many standoff a and now generally let her off within reason,

Agree lots of dresses and maybe even boots if she will wear.

[tacal]

I think you will have to accept she doesn't want to and find alternatives that you are both happy with. Have you looked on any of the sensory clothing websites for ideas? Or would she and you be happy with her always wearing dresses with socks or always wearing shorts? My ds has always hated long sleeves. He never wears jumpers in the winter. He is always in short sleeved shirts or t-shirts. A boy in his class at school wears shorts all year and I don't think he ever wears socks.

[SusanAndBinkyRideForth]

I keep telling myself that such determined self-will will stand her in good stead as an adult. Not sure I'm going to survive her childhood however!

[ovenchips]

OP so is it this refusal to wear certain items of clothing on her bottom half along with sone other sensory stuff that nursery have noticed that is giving you pause for thought? You are wondering if something may be going on with her, rather than wondering in a purely practical way how to keep her bottom half warm?

[tacal]

My ds has sensory issues. I posted on the sn:children board when he was little and got a lot of information from the people there.

[Chamonix1]

Yes ovenchips, she has a few other behaviours that play school, in laws, me and dh have noticed. We've had concerns for a while but some doctors think she needs assessing further and other disagree and say wait and sees We are at a loss. I just want to make sure I handle it in the right way and don't want to force her but don't want her to freeze either. She keeps getting coughs and colds (usual I know but it's constant) and just don't know what to do.