refusal

(1 Post)
secretbiscuiteater Fri 18-Mar-16 13:41:40

I'm not sure if Im posting in the right place or not, but am really looking for advice.

My 9 year old Dsd has had problems with transitions - mainly around going into school in the mornings. Most often it's at the beginning of the school year or if something is troubling her. Both Mum, Dad and I have worked with the school on this who have assured us that this is normal for some children. Once there, she is happy, doing well and has lots of friends. Working with the school really helps and the refusing to go into school rarely happens, although it has this week. Dsd was already cross on going to school re an item she wanted to wear, but we got to school and she refused to let go of me. Kicked and screamed etc...

I guess I'm asking for similar experiences. Senior school and teenage years are around the corner and this concerns me. I don't mean to sound heartless, it's heartbreaking to see but there is a distinct difference between her being worried about going in and angry / defiant. While that we don't want to have the nasty tough love approach of punishing her for not going in / nor being sympathetic I'm starting to think that at 9 she knows about consequences and shouldn't be allowed to have two teachers, a TA plus me ( and in the past a friend) coaxing her in. While she gets upset and needs time to cool
off I think she knows she gets attention and likes it. Want to make suggestions to the school who take the softly 'come and do some special jobs' approach but I'm not sure if this is the right line to take. I'm not talking reprimanding her - just a clear message that says, you refuse to go in, so secret has to go, you calm down and if you refuse to go to class or give a reason why you don't want to, the consequence is x ( working on her own perhaps in the library).
Long post - sorry.

We're doing work in and out if school in feelings and appropriate behaviour and she's really a great girl and lovely.

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