Positive Parenting any experience/advice?

(12 Posts)
MoreGilmoreGirls Wed 16-Mar-16 17:21:47

Hi all pg with my second and struggling with toddler tantrums DS is 2. Came across some positive Parenting stuff on FB. Anybody an advocate of this? Can you recommend any books / best practices? There seems to be a lot out there and need a bit of help navigating through it.
Also is a 2 yr old a bit young or is this the best time to start?

Thanks

Reiltin Wed 16-Mar-16 17:26:29

Hi! I'm a fan - it fits well with how we want to parent. Try the no-cry discipline solution - we're working through it at the moment. Have a look online at Aha Parenting. It's not too late to start. Good luck smile

MoreGilmoreGirls Wed 16-Mar-16 17:34:43

Thanks Reiltin, I'll check those out. smile

BoyGirlBoy3 Wed 16-Mar-16 17:37:23

I love positive parenting, you say what you want them to do, not what you don't. 'Hold on tightly', when they are climbing, as opposed to 'be careful or you'll fall'. The child is thinking of holding on tightly in the first, and falling in the second!.

Also you praise what you like, playing nicely, sharing etc, and ignore where possible the bad.

I recommend Steve Biddlph, The secret of happy children, I hope its still in print. I loved that book.

MoreGilmoreGirls Wed 16-Mar-16 17:41:30

Thank you BoyGirl, they have that book in the kindle store so I'll download it tonight.

Ferguson Wed 16-Mar-16 18:57:51

I didn't know what it was - but having just looked it up on the Aha! site, it seems pretty well exactly what we were doing with our DS over thirty years ago, which could account for him turning out so well.

Treat children with RESPECT. And as it said in "The Water-Babies" well over a century ago - model yourself on Mrs. Doasyouwouldbedoneby.

KittyandTeal Wed 16-Mar-16 19:03:43

I have generally done this with dd1, firm boundaries (I think some people think positive parenting is saying yes to everything, those who don't know anyway) I try to speak in a decent tone all the time and say more directive things rather than no or don't do that.

It takes a bit of thinking. I have recently been stressed and got into the 'stop it' forever moaning mode and her behaviour just deteriorated, screaming and shouting at us and stomping around.

Some lovely poster here redirected me back to pp and her behaviour is again way better and we're both far less stressed.

MoreGilmoreGirls Wed 16-Mar-16 20:25:43

Thanks Kitty, being pg and tired all the time I do find myself saying stop it and no a lot at the moment. Trying to not get stressed myself is a major issue. Going to download some books and research it all a bit more and hopefully change my attitude.

Terrifiedandregretful Wed 16-Mar-16 20:29:26

Janet Lansbury is my guru on all things toddler related. She has a website and Facebook page with lots of useful articles.

athousandsplendidsuns Wed 16-Mar-16 20:29:55

You could try the no drama discipline book too - based on recent research into how children's brains develop. Don't know anyone calm enough to employ all the principles all the time but I found it a reassuring read

KittyandTeal Wed 16-Mar-16 20:43:03

Someone on here suggested 'I can't understand you when you speak like that'! It works brilliantly, stops Dd in her tracks (although she also uses it when I'm saying something she doesn't want to hear 😄)

I also say 'I don't shout at you so please don't shout at me' which also ends quickly with a 'sorry mummy' now.

I'm sure to many outsiders I sound completely ineffective but it works really well with Dd. I also see it as modelling decent behaviour to others

MoreGilmoreGirls Wed 16-Mar-16 22:13:24

Thanks all for your responses. It definitely sounds like something I want to practice. I'll get researching. smile

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