Hi do you have any thoughts to offer to help in this situation please? My son is 3.5 and goes to pre-school while I work part-time. He's been at the current pre-school 6 mths. This week and last week there's been an incident in which he and another child have fought, leaving each child involved with a mark or cut. Eg yesterday he and another boy fought and my son was pushed over, grazing his temple. The other boy was scratched by my son. This was apparently because my son has to lead play and gets frustrated when other kids don't want to follow and so gets in their face and then the other child reacts, leading to the fighting. Last week there was a dispute over a toy which led to my son being hit in the mouth with the toy, needing a cold compress, and my son scratching the child who hit him.
Today the pre-school leader seemed quite terse when I discussed yesterday's incident with her, and basically said that my son needs 'somehow' to learn to let other kids lead play too. She says if someone doesn't play along he just shouts louder at them and gets in their space and they react. She said he plays best with quiet kids who do as he says but that they have to separate him a few times a day from others, including those he talks of as being his 'best friends'. She said they struggle to do this effectively sometimes because of the size of the nursery. I was left feeling upset by the conversation as she seemed to be blaming him. Last time this behaviour was raised was at his half yearly review meeting and it was put in a more positive light then ie he likes to organise the other children into games and includes everyone. She did say that the other boys (they're mainly boys at his pre-school at the moment and are all around 3/4 yrs old) are also difficult at times, but seemed to be very down on my son. I got the impresion she'd be happy if we removed him from the pre-school altogether.
He's an outgoing, sociable and confident child. I've never seen the behaviours she describes when he's around other kids eg at birthday parties and play dates and we leave him at Sunday School every week for an hour or so and there are never any issues reported.
He's an only child for now but I'm pregnant and due in May. How I can help him with all this? I feel like he's been described as a domineering bully... Upsetting! And equally, shouldn't the other kids (and my son) be learning how to react without violence if someone wants you to play a certain way and you don't? Would love your advice! Thanks
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Pre-scho teacher says 3.5 yr old needs to let other kids lead play too...
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rainbowontheway · 16/03/2016 09:25
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