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Positive parenting - how to get DS(5) to listen & respond?

(3 Posts)
saggyboobs1 Thu 10-Mar-16 10:41:21

Another shouty morning sad
I can't get my DS to listen to me and do as I ask - eg:
- He has a list of things he needs to do in the morning (brush teeth, wash face, get dressed etc). I asked him to get on with it, he stood up, I walked out of the room to get DD (2) ready, came back 5 minutes later to find him lying on his rug again. Repeat till I shout in frustration.
- I asked him if he wants more breakfast - he responds with irrelevant comment, I repeat question, he says something else irrelevant. Repeat till I shout in frustration.
- I asked him to set a good example to his sister by doing something nicely, he starts talking about something else while I am mid-sentence - he hasn't even noticed/cared that I was talking to him.

I have tried praising him on the rare occasion he does listen, marble jars, standing over him repeatedly telling him to do things, asking him to repeat what I've just told him to do & had his hearing tested. The only thing that actually gets through to him is when I lose the rag and shout at him. It's not very pleasant for any of us.
In his defence, I will say that DD is quite stroppy, so by the time I've dealt with her and then gone to him, I am already feeling stressed. Even when I pretend to be calm, he won't do anything.
I do believe that (in)actions have consequences, so he will go to school wearing nothing but one sock one day very soon, but I'm still not sure that will make a long-term difference.

I'd like to try positive parenting approaches to this - does anyone have any suggestions? Apologies for the length.

RainyBow Thu 10-Mar-16 10:48:07

That sounds tough, and not that unlike my morning!

One tip I picked up on a training course about Boys (local Children's Centre) was that they don't really hear you the same way as you'd expect. If you go up to him and make physical contact, like a touch of the shoulder, then their ears open up to hear you properly. I have found that it does work. Obviously it is not perfect as we still have shouty moments, but it is definitely one tip that works.

Good luck - I will be following for more advice.

saggyboobs1 Thu 10-Mar-16 21:21:42

I'm going to try not having breakfast until everything else is done. I'll see how that goes for a few days.

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