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School playground issues

(2 Posts)
nellyflora Tue 01-Mar-16 12:40:13

Help my just turned 8 year old seems to be having playground issues. I don't even know how to explain but will do my best.
We had him saying pre half term he had no friends etc etc (he seemed to have fallen out with his best friend).
On Friday when being chased about a boy pushed (yes been confirmed as push) DS into the climbing wall. He was sent home with a head injury and said he was being bullied. My son is very boisterous so I kind of feel it was probably play that just went too far and other child pushed (other boy also known to be very boisterous)
Other children say he (my DS) was annoying and some have complained to parents that he has been mean in the past (not physically) I only found this out this morning when talking to teacher when I asked what was going on.
So have spoken to teacher who thinks it's just normal fallouts and positioning issues. I ran into head teacher on way out and he felt due to the pressure the children are currently under due to new curriculum they are all playing up in playground ????
I am really upset, is my child being a bully and what do I do? He now has friends again it appears as asked for one to come to tea. I don't know what to think or do. I feel highly ashamed now as my child has been mean and other parents must think badly of us. My son is quite difficult he's very bright and lively but sensitive and temperamental at times. He does wind people up I am constantly dealing with him annoying his younger brother so I can believe he can do it to other children at school also. My big fear is although teacher did not give names is that he taunted a child for being weaker accedemically then himself, he does this to his younger brother (ds2 is actually very bright and able but younger thus obviously does not know all his times tables).
So what the hell do I do apart from talk to him very firmly tonight about behavior and being kind. ??? It's all a bit vague he's not been beating anyone up but likely provoking arrrrrr who would be a parent.

pippistrelle Wed 02-Mar-16 09:13:12

So have spoken to teacher who thinks it's just normal fallouts and positioning issues.

It sounds like the school don't see it as anything out of the ordinary so don't beat yourself up. That said, I understand your disappointment and concern that you're hearing reports that your son has been unkind.

I think all you can do is talk to him. Try to do it at a time where he's relaxed and receptive, and ideally when his brother isn't around so you can focus on home alone. Then, lavish praise for kind behaviour when you see it, and discussion (maybe around news stories) of examples of kindness along the lines of 'what would make someone do such a thing?', and of possible consequences (people not wanting to spend time with you etc) - the aim being to get him to understand cause and effect.

Also, do you think there is something going on that has led to this? Have you heard of love-bombing? There's a lot of stuff online, but essentially it means spending quality one to one time with your child. It's really about working on the one to one bond but it can lead to a child feeling able to open up about worries and concerns so might be useful here.

Best of luck.

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