My son is due to start school this year and I wonder whether if I 'd stayed home with him instead of sending him to childcare since he was a baby whether he would be a more emotionally stable and confident in himself child. The nursery staff say he's very emotional just now and they can't get him to do anything without a big fuss. I think he's not as bad as they say . I wonder if he's turned off by them because he doesn't have respect for them. I wonder whether he's got too many adults telling him what to do .His childminder his nursery staff and us as parents. I feel really sad to think he may have been different if I 'd dedicated more of my life to him rather than working. I feel I 've failed because I actually don't think I could've coped being with him. When I was on maternity I found it difficult because I didn't have value of my own. But I wonder if maybe my husband hadn't put pressure on me to work full time whether I would've actually been able to cope if I felt supported. He made me feel like "why should I get to stay home when he's out at work" and I can see his point. Having 2 salaries has enabled us to relocate and be in a good situation. And actually it's sometimes quite detrimental to a relationship if the father is out working and feels resentful towards the mother and child and their relationship. It's that age old question should a mother work ? Should a young child be looked after by others than the mother? I 'll never know whether he would've been different and whether my experience as a mother could've been greatly enhanced by spending more time with him. And now I 'm doing the same with my daughter who's just a toddler . Although I have a better balance . Still full time working but free to pick kids up mid afternoon and spend the hours before dinner together which is something a lot of mums don't have and I 'm grateful for . I can't voice this issue to anyone else just grateful to have somewhere to write down how I 'm feeling.
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