Normally talkative 5yo won't talk about a certain subject

[StrictlyMumDancing]

DD will talk about anything, over and over again, constantly. She barely shuts up.

I've written about her wetting before, and the fact she will happily sit in wet clothes until they dry up. She used to change herself but at the moment she will not do it unless expressly told to, even if she knows she is wet.

We've asked her if she can tell us why and she just clams up, says nothing and will stay silent for hours literally. Over the last few weeks we've told her repetitively we're not mad at her for wetting but we're upset she's not changing as she's making herself ill. We've explained that until she tells us we can't do anything to help her. We've tried to bribe her with a present she can have if she talks. We've even tried to get her to name her own reward - she won't even do that.

Is this normal behaviour? I'm beginning to get quite worried as she will open up on any subject except this.

[Kleinzeit]

Sorry I can’t remember what your doctor said it about – 5 is quite old for many day-time accidents. On the other hand 5 is very young to answer “why” questions on difficult topics and it’s probably time to stop scolding/lecturing her for not telling you, that might be making things worse. By this age the point is to get her to wee in the toilet; you don’t really want her to wet herself and then tell you? The problem may be that she’s old enough to feel embarrassed. If you have a routine for frequent toilet trips so she empties her bladder regularly then maybe you could also have a routine for changes too – take her off to change often whether she’s wet or dry, don’t fuss if she’s wet, don’t change her if she’s dry. Maybe reward her for dry. Have you tried rewarding her for changing herself or for showing you that she’s dry? (Small rewards each time or a sticker to earn a bigger reward) She might find that easier than asking you to change her.