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Highly Sensitive Person (8year old) promoting self esteem

(3 Posts)
ICyou Sun 21-Feb-16 21:25:51

I have come to the conclusion that my eldest is a HSP. Her issues with clothing, loud noises, coping with multi tasks and complete aversion to any kind of lime light or competition without being shy etc etc. and not growing out of them but compounding them as personality traits as she gets older challenge me and my automatic parent response. For years we've cut a deal of understanding, she's a very good communicator and I am as tolerant as the Dali lama when it come to the wrong pants or t shirt etc. but at nearly 9 how do I improve her self esteem? Team sports or the usual suspects of achievement crush her rather than build her up. She is a gentle, empathic, creative kid with a wonderful imagination and lots to offer the world. How do I make sure she can in way that suits her. I'm seeing preteens looming and I'm terrified how this will hit her.

On reading HSP is not the same as Hypersensivitity. She is not emotionally fragile, but affected by the world around her to a greater degree. It's also not about being fussy and far from attention seeking. I'm interested to hear from other parents who have a HSP in their family group.

By the way my youngest is heading towards being a CEO of a major international in crazy heels and a cocktail dress, notice me or your sacked stylee grin. Talk about chalk and cheese.

Setting this going and then off to sort school bags and back to work stuff. Looking forward to any pearls of wisdom.

3kidsandacat Mon 22-Feb-16 12:56:10

OMG, you have just described my family, does your DD have problems with concentration and writing in particular, myDS is just about to be tested/ checked out, not sure of correct term by an OT he has had 6 different assessments for different things, i was told i needed parenting classes, i was also enabling his behavior, he isnt violent he hates anything to change and gets SOOOOOOOO sad and sobs, am i to leave him or try and change the situation so he isnt sad, he is such a gorgeous, kind, very intelligent boy and it breaks my heart to send him to school every day, he knows none of this BTW, where abouts in the country are you

ICyou Tue 23-Feb-16 21:08:28

Sounds rough, what with testing etc. and a tough call getting your parenting brought into question. we're not in that league, high sensitivity isn't any sort of disorder or something you would routinely test for, more a grouping of about 15-20% of the population. Pre 90's without the label you would probably call it an 'artistic temperament'

DD1 is about where she should be academically. She struggles with reading, but again I think that's confidence and fear of being assessed. If I let her read herself she reads more, at a faster pace and can tell you all about it. And given a subject she likes, say art or DT she's away with it for as long as you let her, so concentration isn't an issue.

I suppose my questions are about building up that self esteem in a different way before the teenage years reek havock, it seems those year start at 10/11 now. She does struggle to make close friends although very sociable, again it's to do with anyone challenging her choices, she just backs off immediately but not in a victim kind of way.

She does get very upset about things, sad news hits her like a brick, but she gets over it pretty quick, but severity of her reaction is heart breaking. Sounds like you're going through that with your DS.

I hope the session with the OT goes well and you get something positive out of it, and you find a way support your son.

We're up top in Northumberland.

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