Re: Language skills, what can your 16-20 month old do?

[BonesyBones]

I have a 19month old son, and I am concerned about his language/social development (plenty of reason to be concerned with autism running strongly in all of male family, including his dad and brother).

Could you please tell me how old you child is and whether they:

Know their own name?
Can say their own name?
Can understand/respond to simple requests (pass the teddy, come over here etc.)?
Ask for something (drink please, Want biscuit)?
Point to things, knowing what they are?
Tell you how they feel (hungry, tired, cold, hurt etc.)?
Call you and other known people by name (even if it's not clear to others what they mean)?

Also:
How many words do they say clearly (recognisable to others)?
How many words do they say in total (roughly)
Do they string words?
Do they copy facial expressions?
Do they know any shapes/colours/animals/other groups of things?
Pretend play (feed a dolly, talk on phone etc.)?

I just want to know roughly where my son falls in with others of a similar age.

[StarUtopia]

Could you please tell me how old you child is and whether they:
Boy, 21 months

Know their own name? Yes
Can say their own name? No
Can understand/respond to simple requests (pass the teddy, come over here etc.)? Yes
Ask for something (drink please, Want biscuit)? Doesn't ask - grunts, but I know what he's asking for
Point to things, knowing what they are? No, not really
Tell you how they feel (hungry, tired, cold, hurt etc.)? Nope
Call you and other known people by name (even if it's not clear to others what they mean)? Will say Dadda and Grandad but not mum!

Also:
How many words do they say clearly (recognisable to others)? None
How many words do they say in total (roughly) Just trying to work out now...4 maybe? Very few.
Do they string words? god no!
Do they copy facial expressions? Yes
Do they know any shapes/colours/animals/other groups of things? Erm no!
Pretend play (feed a dolly, talk on phone etc.)? Yes, he loves doing this.


To be honest, he is way behind where my daughter was at this age. But, although he says very little, he's clearly 'with it' if you know what I mean. We also have autism in the family, but I'm fairly sure he's ok, despite having practically no language. He just still babbles like a baby really. He did say 'bye bye' yesterday very clearly and I nearly fell off my chair with shock! HTH

[Jesabel]

Mine is a boy and on the slower end of learning to speak - no words at all at 18 months but had a bit of an explosion at 20ish months. So I'm basing this on 20 months:

Know their own name? Yes
Can say their own name? No (still doesn't at 23 months)
Can understand/respond to simple requests (pass the teddy, come over here etc.)? Yes
Ask for something (drink please, Want biscuit)? No, not in words, but for example would make an oinking noise if he wanted to watch Peppa Pig
Point to things, knowing what they are? Yes
Tell you how they feel (hungry, tired, cold, hurt etc.)? Not in words but might nod if I asked.
Call you and other known people by name (even if it's not clear to others what they mean)? Mummy and daddy, but no one else

Also:
How many words do they say clearly (recognisable to others)? Some animal noises, mummy, daddy, no, cat, choo choo, maybe a couple more
How many words do they say in total (roughly) I'd guess about 15
Do they string words? No
Do they copy facial expressions? Yes
Do they know any shapes/colours/animals/other groups of things? Some animals, trains, cars
Pretend play (feed a dolly, talk on phone etc.)? Only really in imitation of an adult or older child

I just want to know roughly where my son falls in with others of a similar age.

[Jesabel]

This is what is broadly expected in terms of understanding and speech between 16 and 26 months:

Selects familiar objects by name and will go and find objects when asked, or identify objects from a group.
Understands simple sentences (e.g. ‘Throw the ball’.)
Copies familiar expressions, e.g. ‘Oh dear’, ‘All gone’.
Beginning to put two words together (e.g. ‘want ball’, ‘more
juice’).
Uses different types of everyday words (nouns, verbs and
adjectives, e.g. banana, go, sleep, hot).
Beginning to ask simple questions.
Beginning to talk about people and things that are not present.

Broadly speaking, by 18 months they should have about 20 words and by 2 years about 50, though I don't think either of my boys did!

[BonesyBones]

Thanks for the replies so far, very interesting in relation to my own child, and thanks for the list jesabel, it was reading these that prompted me to ask other parents, to get a more realistic idea of what this age group can do.

[Hithere1982]

Hi, my son is also 19 months and here are the answers -

Yes, he knows his name. He sometimes tries to say it occasionally but not clearly at all. He understands quite a lot of simple requests, he points to lots of things when I say where's the xxxxxx, will ask for some food by name but just with the one word such as 'biscuit' or 'breadstick' or will say 'more', if he doesn't speak the word it's a point and noise of some sort. he doesn't say how he feels - hungry, tired etc. He calls lots of people by name - muma, daddy, grandad, brother, aunts, uncles, all family members I think. He has lots of words 50-75 at a guess although most are unclear and most people probably wouldn't understand him. He doesn't strings words yet, trying to encourage this at the moment. He copies facial expressions like sticking out tongue, blinking and other actions like putting hands on head or banging the table. I don't think he really groups things yet but will play with his animals together so maybe? He will hold a phone, remote control, anything vaguely looking like a phone to his ear and say hello/goodbye etc, he pours me a cup of tea from his play tea set and will offer his toys bites of food or his milk.

[BonesyBones]

Thanks for the input Hithere, seems like the opposite end of the scale from other posters, this is exactly why I was trying to see some kind of average.

[captaincake]

Nearly 21m boy here and everything is a no apart from pretending to talk on the phone/feed dolly (but i think he really thinks he's doing it) and words he says bye and yay which are recogniseable also look which isnt.

[captaincake]

Oh actually he potentially says dadda but it's hard to be sure. I try and encourage him to 'pick up the red car' etc but it is just completely beyond him. He shows no interest whatsoever in my loud patenting type "yes a truck. can you say TRUCK"

[Mouthfulofquiz]

Almost 21 month old boy here:

Know their own name? Yes
Can say their own name? Yes
Can understand/respond to simple requests (pass the teddy, come over here etc.)? Yes
Ask for something (drink please, Want biscuit)? Yes
Point to things, knowing what they are? Yes
Tell you how they feel (hungry, tired, cold, hurt etc.)? Yes
Call you and other known people by name (even if it's not clear to others what they mean)? Yes

Also:
How many words do they say clearly (recognisable to others)?
How many words do they say in total (roughly) - hard to guess, but he speaks quite clearly.
Do they string words? Yes
Do they copy facial expressions? Yes
Do they know any shapes/colours/animals/other groups of things? Yes
Pretend play (feed a dolly, talk on phone etc.) yes

[Mouthfulofquiz]

He will string words like 'daddy work, home soon' or 'my ball mummy' but nothing more complicated than that. This has all happened in the last three weeks or so - no sentences before that.

[jaykay34]

Boy, almost 17 months

Know their own name?
Yes
Can say their own name?
No
Can understand/respond to simple requests (pass the teddy, come over here etc.)?
Yes, and if you give an instruction he gets right ie "pass that to Daddy /put the bowl on the table" he looks all proud and claps himself.
Ask for something (drink please, Want biscuit)?
Indicates by giving a bottle for a drink, or saying "bicbic" for biscuit. Or points.
Point to things, knowing what they are?
Yes.
Tell you how they feel (hungry, tired, cold, hurt etc.)?
No.
Call you and other known people by name (even if it's not clear to others what they mean)?
Yes - says mum, dad and shortened versions of siblings names
Also:
How many words do they say clearly (recognisable to others)?
"Look", "Dog", "Cat", "Duck", "Goodbye", "dinner", "Gone", "Baby", "Car" - very clearly. Says character names - "Bing", "Pat", "Makka".
And others I understand ie "Botbot" (bottle) etc.
How many words do they say in total
Unsure - probably about 20.
Do they string words?
Not really, tries to repeat phrases (unclear) but doesn't independently join.
Do they copy facial expressions?
Yes.
Do they know any shapes/colours/animals/other groups of things?
Dog, cat, duck and baby
Pretend play (feed a dolly, talk on phone etc.)?
Just started to talk on a phone. Plays with cars and makes car noises all the time.

Hope that helps.
My answers with my elder DS and DD would have been different - DS1 had speech problems - you wouldn't know now he's 13 ! DD picked up talking very quickly - she could talk really well by 2 years old.

[TelephoneIgnoringMachine]

DH & I both display signs of AS, DD does somewhat but not strongly.
When DD was 16 months... & 20 months.

Know their own name? Yes, yes.
Can say their own name? No, no
Can understand/respond to simple requests (pass the teddy, come over here etc.)? Yes, yes
Ask for something (drink please, Want biscuit)? No, yes.
Point to things, knowing what they are? Yes, yes
Tell you how they feel (hungry, tired, cold, hurt etc.)? No, yes
Call you and other known people by name (even if it's not clear to others what they mean)? Yes, yes

Also:
How many words do they say clearly (recognisable to others)? 2, well over 300.
How many words do they say in total (roughly) 4, over a thousand.
Do they string words? No, only 2 or 3.
Do they copy facial expressions? Yes, yes
Do they know any shapes/colours/animals/other groups of things? Yes, yes
Pretend play (feed a dolly, talk on phone etc.)? No, yes.

She signed before she spoke, had only a couple of words by 16 months, but could read several numbers & letters by 20 months. These things don't always go in a particular order. Other than knowing the whole alphabet, she's really no closer to reading at nearly 4 - so not a stealth boast.

[KP86]

Could you please tell me how old you child is and whether they:
Boy, 22 months
I'll put a star* against things that have only started in the last month. Most things are advancing very rapidly at the moment, so even if he wasn't speaking as well as he does now, he could communicate almost everything in your list. (Eg. he knew animals and sounds, but now knows more)

Know their own name? Yes
Can say their own name? No
Can understand/respond to simple requests (pass the teddy, come over here etc.)? Yes
Ask for something (drink please, Want biscuit)? Yes. Particularly food/drink, tv, books
Point to things, knowing what they are? Yes
Tell you how they feel (hungry, tired, cold, hurt etc.)? No
Call you and other known people by name (even if it's not clear to others what they mean)? Yes

Also:
How many words do they say clearly (recognisable to others)? Quite a few - water, milk, some foods, animal sounds, names, tv shows.*
How many words do they say in total (roughly) I would say at least 100. But this has really come on in the last month. I actually did a count at 19 or so months and it was around 40.
Do they string words? Yes, but maybe only 2-3 words
Do they copy facial expressions? Yes
Do they know any shapes/colours/animals/other groups of things? Animals and their sounds, counting to 10 from memory - doesn't really get context. Same as alphabet, just starting.
Pretend play (feed a dolly, talk on phone etc.)? Yes.

[NerrSnerr]

My daughter is nearly 18 months

Know their own name? Yes
Can say their own name? No
Can understand/respond to simple requests (pass the teddy, come over here etc.)? Sometimes if very simple
Ask for something (drink please, Want biscuit)? The only thing is 'up' when she wants picking up and very occasional 'baboo' when she's done a poo.
Point to things, knowing what they are? Yes
Tell you how they feel (hungry, tired, cold, hurt etc.)? No
Call you and other known people by name (even if it's not clear to others what they mean)? Daddy all the time, occasionally Mama

Also:
How many words do they say clearly (recognisable to others)? 5ish
How many words do they say in total (roughly) about 10-15
Do they string words? No
Do they copy facial expressions? Yes
Do they know any shapes/colours/animals/other groups of things? Knows ducks quack and cows moo. Also thinks sheep moo.
Pretend play she feeds iggle piggle and likes getting her toys to dance

[KP86]

Oh, sorry. Bloody bold instead of the asterisk showed in my text.

It was after the words recognised by others. That has really improved in the last month.

[lornathewizzard]

DD 19 months

Know their own name? Yes
Can say their own name? No

Can understand/respond to simple requests (pass the teddy, come over here etc.)? Yes, increasingly so in the past month I'd say.

Ask for something (drink please, Want biscuit)? Hmm, she asks for TV shows by saying a character name but nothing really more complicated than that. It's a pull you and point otherwise!

Point to things, knowing what they are? Yes

Tell you how they feel (hungry, tired, cold, hurt etc.)? No

Call you and other known people by name (even if it's not clear to others what they mean)? Mum, dad, papa, think that's it.

Also:
How many words do they say clearly (recognisable to others)? Most quite clear.
How many words do they say in total (roughly) I counted at 16 months and it was 20+ (including animal sounds). I'd say now maybe around 30?

Do they string words? Only simple phrases, oh no, all done etc

Do they copy facial expressions? Yes

Do they know any shapes/colours/animals/other groups of things? Just animals

Pretend play (feed a dolly, talk on phone etc.)? Yep, as a pp said, will grab anything and talk into it like a phone! I would say she's been doing this since about 12 months?

Hope that helps. I have always felt her emotional / mental development is faster than her physical, didn't crawl til 9 months (I know that's not mega late but not early) but I'd say it is evening out now.

[PixieChops]

Could you please tell me how old you child is and whether they:

21 months (just)

Know their own name? Yes
Can say their own name? Yes
Can understand/respond to simple requests (pass the teddy, come over here etc.)? Yes
Ask for something (drink please, Want biscuit)? Yes
Point to things, knowing what they are? Yes
Tell you how they feel (hungry, tired, cold, hurt etc.)? Yes
Call you and other known people by name (even if it's not clear to others what they mean)? Yes

Also:
How many words do they say clearly (recognisable to others)? 30-40
How many words do they say in total (roughly) 50
Do they string words? Yes- just started
Do they copy facial expressions? Yes
Do they know any shapes/colours/animals/other groups of things? Just animals and the colour blue- everything is blue at the moment.
Pretend play (feed a dolly, talk on phone etc.)? Yes but only started doing this at around 19 months old whereas most of her friends were doing it a lot earlier.

[BonesyBones]

Thank you everyone for all the replies, it's great to see that plenty of children don't actually fit "the rules" and also slightly interesting to note that most of these are the boys.

Still happy to hear from anyone else too.

[KP86]

Bonesy, I have a theory that children who are physically advanced (early crawlers, walkers etc) can also be a little bit 'behind' in the cognitive skills. My DS was very early WRT his gross and fine motor skills, but his cognitive abilities definitely took longer than some other kids we know.

Saying all that, once he started, he has absolutely blossomed and I would now consider him at least average in all areas. It's like he went from 0-100 in a month instead of steadily over three months.

The range of 'normal' for children under 5yo is very wide-reaching, and depends on so many things. Younger siblings can be more advanced than peers because they have others to copy, or perhaps because parents are rather busy so they learn to be independent sooner. Children who attend nursery can be advanced in some things because they are surrounded by others of the same age (eg. social skills, toilet training), but children at home with a parent can have more skills like counting, colours because the SAHP might have more time to spend going through these things.

[jaykay34]

bonesy

I answered this earlier in relation to my 16 month old - but just want to tell you the story of my 13 year old boy.
My eldest DS was a late talker and had speech therapy. He was a very stubborn little boy - very frustrated - and would get angry if I did things in a different order or if his toys weren't a certain way. He didn't play with other kids at nursery.
I do have spectrum disorders in the male side of my family, so thought he would probably get a diagnosis.
When he started school his behaviour really changed - as did his speech. His teacher was very supportive and it was like he went through a personality transplant.
He struggled with reading (but was good with numbers) and couldn't grasp reading until he was 6.5 years old.
Something happened to him in year 3 - when he just seemed to fly emotionally and academically. He became very sociable, developed a brilliant sense of humour and climbed up from bottom to top set.
He's now 13 and at Grammar school, has loads of friends and a really laid back personality. He's a chatterbox and a thinker, with a very objective view on the world.

My daughter (DS1 's twin) was a very bright toddler and flew ahead with talking and reading. She averaged out over the years.

Although some issues may be apparent in toddlers, I don't think it's always reflective in the long term.

[GrouchyKiwi]

DD is nearly 19 months.

Know their own name? Yes
Can say their own name? Yes - well, a shortened version of it.
Can understand/respond to simple requests (pass the teddy, come over here etc.)? Yes
Ask for something (drink please, Want biscuit)? Yes, without manners
Point to things, knowing what they are? Yes
Tell you how they feel (hungry, tired, cold, hurt etc.)? I'm not sure. I think she has maybe once told me she hurt herself ("sore") but I'm not sure.
Call you and other known people by name (even if it's not clear to others what they mean)? Yes (her sister, DH and me, her 4 grandparents)

Also:
How many words do they say clearly (recognisable to others)? Hm. Not sure how many would be recognisable. Maybe 20?
How many words do they say in total (roughly) I have no idea, loads. She copies a lot too, so I am not certain how many she actually knows and how many she's just repeating to forget later.
Do they string words? Yes, things like "can I get down", "I want that", "I found you", "I've got you".
Do they copy facial expressions? Definitely smiling. Not sure about others.
Do they know any shapes/colours/animals/other groups of things? She knows animals and vehicles and food items.
Pretend play (feed a dolly, talk on phone etc.)? Pretending anything is a phone is her favourite game to play.

OP, try not to worry about it too much. It could be that your DS is working on physical things first and these will come a bit later. Children develop at different rates. Just keep an eye on it and if these things aren't there by 2 or so then talk to your HV (if they're any use).

[PicnicPie]

19mo DD

Know their own name? Yes
Can say their own name? NO
Can understand/respond to simple requests (pass the teddy, come over here etc.)? Yes but I need to repeat a few times
Ask for something (drink please, Want biscuit)? Yes, usually pointing to it I. E. Biscuit cupboard for a biscuit.
Point to things, knowing what they are? Yes
Tell you how they feel (hungry, tired, cold, hurt etc.)? Yes, shows me finger if she hurt it. Makes yum yum sounds when hungry and she sees some food, gets her blanket when she wants to sleep.
Call you and other known people by name (even if it's not clear to others what they mean)? Mummy, daddy and nanny only, cannot say her Dsis name.

Also:
How many words do they say clearly (recognisable to others)? Hello, bye bye, shoes, banana, baby plus a few more.
How many words do they say in total (roughly) 10-15.
Do they string words? No
Do they copy facial expressions? Yes
Do they know any shapes/colours/animals/other groups of things? Yes some animals by sounds they make oooh oooh for monkey, raaa for lion, tweet for bird and wood and meow rather than animal names.
Pretend play (feed a dolly, talk on phone etc.)? Yes she feeds dolly milk, feeds me from her tea set and talks on my phone.

She has an older sis so watches her play and copies a lot of what she does which probably helps.

[UmbongoUnchained]

My daughter is 18 months and is a yes to all of those apart from saying her own name, she had a nickname which everyone calls her which she can say.
I was so chuffed when I realised she was an early talker....
Now I wish she couldn't talk at all 😑

[Coffeemachine]

I have a DC with ASD

From what I remember what Salt was looking for when I raised concerns then it was not really about what she could say but what she understood (being able to follow little instructions such as get your shoes, give me the ball, where is daddy?) and how she communicated (pointing, shared attention, bringing me things to show me). they looked at simple pretend play (Dd's was just repetitive stuff and no pretend).

if your main concern is ASD, then Google M-chat. it is a quick screening questionnaire to use from 16 or 18 (not quiet sure) on and to flag it up with HV or GP if he scores as high risk.

[DorotheaHomeAlone]

Dd 18 months

Know their own name? Yes
Can say their own name? Yes
Can understand/respond to simple requests (pass the teddy, come over here etc.)? Yes
Ask for something (drink please, Want biscuit)? Yes, and spontaneously thanks us if it's something good.
Point to things, knowing what they are? Yes
Tell you how they feel (hungry, tired, cold, hurt etc.)? No
Call you and other known people by name (even if it's not clear to others what they mean)? Yes and requests to call/FaceTime specific people on the phone.

Also:
How many words do they say clearly (recognisable to others)? 40ish
How many words do they say in total (roughly) 100 odd
Do they string words? 'Get down' for the cat and thank you.
Do they copy facial expressions? Yes, and mimics crying babies, sad faces in books.
Do they know any shapes/colours/animals/other groups of things? About 20 animals and their noises.
Pretend play (feed a dolly, talk on phone etc.)? Yes, plays tea parties and cooking, talks on the phone and endlessly puts toys to bed.