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Tips/suggestions for DH please

(9 Posts)
Taler Fri 19-Feb-16 10:29:15

My DH is the one who does the drop-offs and pick-ups at nursery with our DD (2yrs) 3 days a week.

Like most 2 year olds she wants to be as independent as she can be and we have always encouraged this as much as possible by giving her choices, i.e. "which bowl do you want with your cereal, the red or the green one", or "which socks do you want to wear, the white or the pink ones". As well as getting her to carefully carry her bowl of cereal to the table, help with unloading the dishwasher etc (she always wants to help with household chores).

Any way, DH is really struggling as the mornings he takes her to work she has a lot of meltdowns and he feels its because we have given her too much choice.

From everything I've read it encourages that parents give their children choice, however I do agree that maybe too much is not that great.

He had a client meeting to get to at 9:30 this morning and at 9:15 was sat in the driveway in the car, with DD in the back, him trying to stay calm while she had a paddy about the fact that the changed her mind and wanted her other boots on!

He is often late into work and whilst he has his own business and therefore no boss to answer to, he does a) have clients to 'answer to' and colleagues and staff who also have children and manage to get in on time.

Can anyone offer any advice for him please?

TIA

birdlover1977 Fri 19-Feb-16 19:02:58

How about preparing as much as possible the night before? So give her the chance to choose her clothes the night before and have them laid out ready for the next morning. Obviously this won't help if she changes her mind next morning though. TBH I think 2 is very young for too much choice and I would most likely make the decision over most things including what she was wearing, especially on work days. I would be more relaxed at the weekend / non-work days and give her more choice then. Good Luck.

Taler Fri 19-Feb-16 21:43:49

Thank you x

Eminado Fri 19-Feb-16 22:35:57

Hi my DD is now 2.6 and she too is very independent and strong willed!!

I wanted to reassure u as we were just saying she seems to have mellowed a bit now, the random meltdowns were awful.

Things that got us through:
-wake up earlier (sorry!)
-prep EVERYTHING the night before
-reduce opportunities for discussion ie allow her to choose ONE thing not everything. We do coat as we are nearly out the door by this point!
- cast iron routine ie same order of play every.single.day
-do not respond to meltdowns just try to
Ignore and move on to next task in routine
-encourage and reward use of words not screaming or crying
-extreme praise/stickers for good behaviour
-channel patience you never knew you had!

Taler Fri 19-Feb-16 22:50:58

Thank you. Good advice x

uhoh2016 Sat 20-Feb-16 06:05:35

The sitting in the car thing why she had a paddy about boots - god no!!! I'd of just drove off and let her paddy what's the worst that can happen???? You cant be dictated too by a 2yr old. At 2 I don't think you should be giving her so much choice in everything especially when you need to get out the door. You (or dh) should be choosing clothes/shoes for her no argument. Maybe on a weekend when there's nowhere you particularly need to be early on could you let her help you to choose outfits etc

Costacoffeeplease Sat 20-Feb-16 07:29:33

Was there a reason he couldn't just drive away and let her tantrum in her car seat? Is she likely to undo it?

Taler Sat 20-Feb-16 19:45:07

No, think he just needed to feel calmer before driving

Costacoffeeplease Sat 20-Feb-16 19:49:35

Well he's going to have to learn to detach and just get on with getting her to nursery and him to work - it's madness to let a 2 year old dictate and control whether he gets to meetings on time

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