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The tantrums are really getting me down.

(14 Posts)
HumphreyCobblers Sat 13-Feb-16 12:01:35

DS is 2.4. He is practically non verbal, we have started speech therapy so I am hoping for some improvement there but am not that sanguine about it as it appears I am already doing most of what she suggested. Still, I expect I could be doing it better. I will try.

But his tantrums! They are EPIC. I have had a lot of experience of dealing with tantrums as my oldest DS was an expert. I got very used to leaving toddler groups with a stropping child over my shoulder. But I am too old to cope with this now! I think I know the best way to handle them but my heart sinks at the thought of coping with six months of this, it just makes me weary. Today we have had a massive one about my leaving him with his Dad to go and get a bit of sleep, one over my refusal to let him climb in the sink with the washing up, one over my refusal to give him another cake and it is only 12!

Anyone else similarly suffering?

CinnamonBunYou Sat 13-Feb-16 15:13:03

Yes. DD is 2.2 and she is getting worse and I am so bloody down about it. Some (most) days I sit and cry over it.

Today she has had a few...

Her knickers were up her bum.

I smiled at her.

I wouldn't let her tear up the library books.

I asked if she wanted anything to eat.

One just for the sake of it.

It's bloody exhausting! You have my sympathies flowers

BrightandEarly Sat 13-Feb-16 15:53:31

Oh sympathies here too. DS is almost two. His favourite moments are when he wants to do something himself that he clearly can't do. I'm not allowed to help him unless he's had a 10 minute go himself and finally comes to ask for my help... It takes us ages to do anything / go anywhere...

If I accidentally take off his coat I have to put it back on him so he can take it off himselfconfused

HumphreyCobblers Sat 13-Feb-16 15:58:31

thank you! I offer you both my heartfelt sympathy too.

DS2 is in the bath now, and has just stood up and screamed because the water was too cold. At least, I worked that out after five minutes of trying different things (getting toys etc). He stopped screaming when I guessed correctly. It is wearing. I hardly ever actually know what he wants, but I suppose even if I did I wouldn't be able to provide it most of the time grin

The speech therapist finally gave up the other day and gave me an appointment I could go to on my own. He was just opening the door and running off, being brought back, lying on the floor, over and over again. I try not to be embarrassed but I can't help it!

PalcumTowder Sat 13-Feb-16 20:56:10

I'll join too! 2.5 year old waking in the night and tantrumming because I'm not there, tantrumming in the day because he's tired, because his food is "dirty" (black pepper), because he can't have chocolate, because a bubble got on his hand in the bath, because I wiped the bubble off... It's endless and so exhausting and stressful. I was starting to think I'd broken him somehow so this thread has made me feel a bit reassured that it's normal!

Can I ask how everyone deals with the tantrums? I usually distract but it's not working recently so it's just cuddles and quiet talking but I don't know if I should ignore instead?

Laquila Sat 13-Feb-16 20:59:55

We're just getting into this (still in the early stages) at 2.5 and I'm already tired just thinking about it! And I'm due with my second in a week.

We do a combination of ignoring, cuddles and quiet sensible talking, and being very stern and cross, depending on how stressed/sensible I'm feeling at the time. Nothing works consistently, but I expect some would say that's because we don't have a consistent response. But then I don't feel that his motivations are always consistent so there's no one-size-fits-all answer.

HumphreyCobblers Sat 13-Feb-16 21:07:03

I also do a combination of ignoring, distracting and heading off at the pass if at all possible. I am not sure of his receptive language so reasoning with is unlikely to work. Definitely agree that no one way fits all. I do believe that tantrums are a process that have to be gone though with some children, if there was a sure fire method of avoiding them I am sure we would have worked it out by now!

The worst thing is the way he goes all limp and wriggles his shoulders out of my grasp so I can't hold him.

It is nice to know we are not alone, although I am sorry you are all having to put up with it too.

If it is any consolation, my oldest DS was such a terribly stroppy toddler, he started his tantrums aged 14 months and they just went on and on. He once threw a chair at me! Now he is the most well behaved nine year old, literally never putting a foot wrong at school. SO there is hope!

Racheyg Sun 14-Feb-16 20:37:41

Can I join you. Ds1 is 2.6 and I'm really struggling. He headbutts when doesn't get his own way, throws himself on the floor, throws things........

He also has a speech delay and he finds the naughty step funny. Most days I want to cry. But then he is affectionate, funny attentive towards his baby brother and kind.

HumphreyCobblers Sun 14-Feb-16 20:40:55

The speech delay doesn't help, does it? Frustrating for us and them.

Head butting is so hard to see flowers The whole thing is emotionally draining, I just feel worn out after an episode.

bishboschone Sun 14-Feb-16 20:52:49

I have a non verbal 4 year old ( he has sn ) . He hasn't ever really had tantrums but he gets frustrated . The thing that helps us the most is he uses makaton.. I taught myself and then taught him .. Even the simple words like food , drink , help .. Look on you tube for tutorials .

bishboschone Sun 14-Feb-16 20:54:41

I will just add it's very very tiring and training having a non verbal child . My day is mostly a big game of charades or guessing what he wants . We understand each other most of the time and it's got better with age .. I do feel your pain though .

HumphreyCobblers Sun 14-Feb-16 20:54:43

I am having some classes soon, really hoping that they will help. It is good to hear that they prove useful. DS didn't really have the shared attention necessary for signing before a couple of weeks ago.

MadamDeathstare Sun 14-Feb-16 21:04:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Racheyg Sun 14-Feb-16 21:40:05

We start four sessions of speech therapy in a weeks time. I was hoping for 121 but it's a class of 5. I'm hoping they can help him express himself better with out the tantrums and head butting.

Sorry we are all going through this. flowers

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