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2 year old doesn't like playing with other children

(10 Posts)
LilMusicalNote Tue 02-Feb-16 20:46:54

My daughter has just turned 2 and for the past 5/6 months I've slowly noticed she doesn't like playing with other children her age. Ive spoke to health visitor about this and she has said to take her to more groups but it doesn't seem to help. The thing is its not the only thing Im worried about, if somebody she doesn't know speaks to her or walks into my house she starts screaming really loud and doesn't stop and no matter what I say or do she will not calm down. My HV has told me this is normal but it doesn't feel right that she acts like this. Ive stopped going to soft play and groups because I'm worried what other mums will think about her behaviour. please tell me my daughter isn't the only one.

StringTheory Tue 02-Feb-16 20:53:09

My 2 year old doesn't really play with other children yet. Just sort of plays near them. We went to a party on Sunday and he would only get involved in the games if I played them with him. I agree with your HV, keep working at it and socialising. She will soon feel more comfortable and confident.

christinarossetti Tue 02-Feb-16 20:55:02

I don't think most 2 year olds play 'with' other children - they usually 'parallel play' ie play alongside but not co-operatively or together.

You say she doesn't like playing with other children her age - what about older children or babies? Playing with involves sharing and negotiating, which isn't the forte of most 2 year olds!

My dd was very nervous/scared/shy of other people until she was well over 2. It's most likely within normal range, and you're just very aware of it as you're her mum.

The main reason for going to groups or soft play with this age group is that they benefit you, in terms of adult company or activities for the children. Avoiding them if you actually like them doesn't sound like the best strategy - maybe choose smaller groups or quieter times at soft play?

rosieliveson1 Tue 02-Feb-16 21:01:46

My almost 2.5 year old is only just starting to be keen to play with other children but doesn't really know how. He will chase after them or join in running around but if they are using a toy or something all he tries to do is get his own hands on it. He doesn't 'get' playing together yet.
He is also very wary of people and is only just starting to smile at cashiers, delivery men and the like. He just used to shout "no in their faces" 😳 This is despite attending all variety of baby groups and having interaction with other children and adults almost every day from being 7 weeks old.
Try not to worry but do keep an eye on how things develop and continue to push for advice if you remain uncomfortable.

LilMusicalNote Tue 02-Feb-16 21:09:58

Christinarossetti well my sister has a 4 month old and brother has a 5 month old and she doesn't show any interest in them at all she doesn't even notice they are there even when I hold them and play with them she doesn't come over to inspect or anything really. I have a nephew who is 7 months older and he is totally the opposite to her and a nephew who is 11 and she thinks he is great. Maybe I'm expecting to much from her. StringTheory will keep going to groups and see how we get on. Thank you for taking the time to reply

LilMusicalNote Tue 02-Feb-16 21:19:59

rosieliveson1 yes my daughter says NO to people, my partners brother and his wife come over and I try explaining that my daughter doesn't like it when people come in and get in her face and use a loud voice to speak to her but they don't really get it and they think she's stroppy but as Im typing this Im starting to think its not her with a problem its maybe the visitors.

Ambroxide Tue 02-Feb-16 21:47:28

Some kids just like quiet! Mine was like this. She is a very sociable and friendly 9 year old now. She just doesn't like loud stuff or big noisy groups. She didn't play properly with any other children of her age until well over 4. And I took her to plenty of playgroups etc and she hated them. She just wanted to go home and look at books and play with her own toys.

Pocket1 Tue 02-Feb-16 21:48:04

My DD is 2.7 and had only just started playing well with other children - and even then it's kids she knows and places she familiar with, ie the regular play groups we go to.

It wasn't that long ago that she would cry if my brother or sister picked her up. Now she loves them to bits.

I think it's just a case of time and familiarity. Try taking her to the same couple of classes each week so she gets to know the other children. And sees you relaxed and chatting with the other parents. I'm sure you'll see a big change over the next 3-6 months smile

A1Sharon Wed 03-Feb-16 11:17:21

Hi OP.
My youngest is 3yo. He started play school, and I had to stay with him for a few sessions etc. I noticed that quite a few of the children play alone the whole time-3 hrs. And barely utter a single word the whole session. Seemed to be totally normal.
My DS would cover his eyes and run away if anyone even looked at him. He still does it, even to people he knows. I presume he will grow out of it. He has settled amazingly well into play school-loves it!
My eldest child has Aspergers, so I am aware of some of the 'signs' for this. I would just keep doing what you are dong at the minute, and if you still have concerns seek help.

KittyandTeal Wed 03-Feb-16 11:53:28

My 3.5 yo Dd has only just 'got' the idea of playing with other children. And even then it's more like running around after each other or bossing each other around.

She is an only (atm) so has never had a playmate at home like lots of her friends.

She'll get there, sounds totally normal for a 2yo

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