Do your kids get invited to parties at nursery?

[Gattabianca]

My 3yo hasnt been invited to any birthday parties from other kids at his nursery. He's only been to parties of my friends' kids.
I'd never given this much thought until I heard mums at drop off talking about birthday party for kids in his nursery class that he wasn't invited to.
I never do play dates or make any effort with other nursery parents past smiling/saying hello at drop off. I thought it was too early for all that.
Should I be worried he's not invited to parties? Should I be making more effort?

[paxillin]

Don't worry, it will be a completely fresh start for everyone at reception and those will be the parties he might actually remember.

Meanwhile, you will be hankering back to the lovely Sunday afternoons you didn't have to spend make awkward small talk to strangers whilst drinking squash from dinosaur-themed cups and eating pombears and carrot sticks at 3pm.

[BackforGood]

No. None of mine ever did.
I don't know if it's a new thing since they were that age, or just a MN thing or something that only happens in some areas of the country, but birthay parties started in Reception for us.
I guess if parents are mates they might have had other mates who had dc the same age round for their birthdays, but your ds certainly isn't missing out.

[Gattabianca]

Thanks for reassurance. Husband said the same.
Made me sad that other kids at his nursery might be saying who they want at their parties and gattino is never on the list but you are right about kids parties not being fun for parents!!
Think I need to toughen up before he starts school.

[paxillin]

Aged 3 it's the parents and it isn't malicious. They have often no idea of any of the kids' names, might ask a nursery nurse or they asked people they knew from NCT classes.

The kids at 3 often want to invite the postman, their teacher, the Octonauts and granny. We went from 1 party (nursery) to 17 (reception). Believe me, you'll wish there were fewer.

[poocatcherchampion]

Sadly we have been invited to a few. All dress up events normally Disney themed. We normally make excuses.

Will have to show our faces in reception I guess.

[Gattabianca]

Thanks Pax - that's true, I don't know any of the names of kids from his class.
I will stop feeling sad and start appreciating not having extra kids parties to endure

[Fugghetaboutit]

Nope mine hasn't, thank god

[minipie]

I'd only worry if the whole class is being invited except him, or if you had some other reason to think he's being deliberatelu excluded iyswim.

If all these parties are for a handful of kids, and he just isn't in that handful, then it isn't about him, it's because the mums know each other/reciprocal invites etc.

DD has been to lots of nursery parties but they have all been invite the whole class affairs.

[Gattabianca]

I'm not sure if they are whole class parties or who else is invited. I don't know any of the other parents.
I don't think there's any reason for him to be deliberately excluded. Nursery's never raised any concerns about his behaviour or social skills. He's quite a placid, sociable little boy.
He started at this nursery just before he turned 3 and it didn't occur to me to invite any nursery kids to his birthday party. I had no idea that whole class parties were even a thing before school. Most of these kids will go into his reception class so don't want to mess up his social life for years to come . Or am I overthinking this??

[superram]

My 6 year old didn't but my 3 year old has been invited to loads (same nursery). We go to some but as some posters have said they won't be going to the same school so not friends for life. We see those kids we like the parents of anyway (selfish). I have decided we won't have proper parties until reception as I am tight (and lazy).

[champagneplanet]

Nursery parties kicked in for DD in her last year if nursery, she's now in reception. It was the first year id invited any nursery children to one of her parties as well, I used to stick to family and friends and their children.

A please don't worry, since starting school we've been to three parties and there's currently two invitations stuck on the fridge!

[GingerDoodle]

My D.D is 3.3 and invited the whole nursery to her party when she started in September. Its a very small nursery and we we're having a big party anyway so I thought it was a nice to get to meet the parents! The majority came, we've had return invites and I'm doing an Easter party along the same lines.

If it was a huge nursery I probably wouldn't.

Also her nursery is attached to the school she will go to so its reasonable to guess most of the kids there will do the same.

[KeyserSophie]

A few but it seems pretty random (read:kids she never mentions) and she's mainly invited to the "whole class" ones. For her party, she mainly invites kids she knows from outside pre-school, especially as hers falls in the holidays.

[BarbaraTheIncredible]

For both of my two it was the final year of nursery (4th birthday) only and just a subset of the group most times. Reception was the "whole class" hell experience then tapered off to close friends from there.

[Gattabianca]

Ok thank everyone. Sounds like no invites so far is not the end of the world. I'll invite some nursery kids to his next birthday party.
There's years of this party stress to come, isn't there?

[Purplehonesty]

Oh god she gets an invite to every single frigging one and wants to go to them all
There are only so many weekends I can face the torture so she ends up going to half of them.
Having said that usually one of the other mums and I tag team and take both while the other stays at home with the older two.
I hate kids parties! Cold halls, crap food, same bouncy castle/balloons/music and not really knowing anyone.
I ran into an old friend at the last one and we both squealed and hugged each other like three year olds. We were both so delighted to have an ally !!!

[Gattabianca]

Purplehonesty
I don't think any parents especially enjoy kids parties. I wasn't asking because I want to go to more of them

I was asking for advice/reassurance as to whether I should be worried or should be helping him to socialise with nursery kids more, so thanks to the posters who have given that.

[Purplehonesty]

Oh sorry. What I meant to convey was don't worry about it, it's miserable having to go and so feel glad you haven't got to.
And the invites will come as he is there longer.
I just got a bit carried away with my loathing of kids parties
Sorry!

[Grrarg]

I've had the same conversation with DH today, DD (4) has had 2 invites in the last 12 months and I know there are loads of parties that she isn't invited to.

But, it's a massive nursery and there are only so many kids you can invite. Nursery don't raise any concerns and we have friends outside of nursery that she attends parties for so I'm going to hope when she goes to school she gets a few more invites, fingers crossed your DS does too!

[Gattabianca]

Thanks Purple You are not wrong about kids parties - I do actually hate them when I have to go

Grrarg it's not a nice feeling is it . On the other hand I'm pretty sure DS is totally oblivious so it's probably a worry about nothing. Hope your DD gets lots of invites at school.

[SnozzberryMincePie]

No, dd has been invited to a few birthday parties but by friends she has met through groups she attends on non nursery days, with me.