5 yo so stubborn and aggressive

[missced]

My 5 year old DS is in Reception class, and doing well, but I have been at my wit's end with his behaviour over the past few weeks. Until this week it was limited to home, but he's had one incident at school now. He is very stubborn, and if he can't have his way will have a meltdown - mealtimes are also becoming a huge issue too. Lots of attitude - "I hate you, I wish you were dead" - The triggers are when he doesn't want to do something - no matter how illogical or if for his own safety - I use time out, and have had limited success with reward charts - he's absolutely fine when he's not having a tantrum, but I am so upset at what is happening to him. DH is probably more tolerant with him that I am - I am trying very hard to reason with him, but we always seem to end up fighting. He won't stop interrupting when I try to talk to other adults and I find this intolerable. He is my only child. Where am I going wrong?

[Believeitornot]

You say your dh is more tolerant - so can you adopt that approach?

I find with my just turned 6 year old that the more I push and resist the harder it is. Actually he's older so bossing him about doesn't work. Treating him as a person with a bit more respect goes a long way - in reality this just means listening to him more and picking battles. But obviously times I need him to listen - he is more likely to do so.