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Ds suddenly being a horror at bedtime

(7 Posts)
DextersMistress Wed 13-Jan-16 19:24:59

He's 3. He and ds1(5) have never been the best sleepers, always ending up in with us at some point during the night but bedtimes were never a problem until now.

He's started saying he doesn't like going to bed, has to be carried up, then a teeth brushing battle ensues because he's crying about going to bed. I'm talking full on tantrum, throwing himself on the floor screaming, rattling the stair gate to get downstairs etc.

After a while he'll give in and get in bed but doesn't stay there. It usually takes 3 or 4 runs back upstairs to put him back to bed before he'll stay and go to sleep.

I don't know what's suddenly made him like this but any advice?

Ferguson Thu 14-Jan-16 19:33:14

My theory is that as babies mature, and become more aware to their environment, and start to realise they might have CHOICES in their life, they become less passive and less cooperative.

For a year or two, their little body has been picked up, put down, dressed. undressed, bathed, and stuck into bed, with virtually NO choice or control on their part. At 2 or 3, they realise maybe they can INFLUENCE some of these things!

So I think parents have to be as patient as possible, and accept some of these developing behaviours. Try to avoid 'battles', and use your superior skills and understanding, to smooth their path towards maturity.

Haahooooo Sat 16-Jan-16 15:37:54

3 or 4 trips back upstairs doesn't sound too bad actually compared to what goes on here smile. DD who is also three ideally wants me to stay in the room with get until she's asleep. What's working at the moment is that we agree that I will "tidy up upstairs" and come back when I'm done. So she's in bed but can hear me pottering about doing imaginary tidying and when I come back in 10 minutes later she is always asleep.

No doubt this approach will stop working soon...

Queazy Sat 16-Jan-16 20:07:26

Haahoo that is a brilliant idea. My dd wants me to sit in her room until she's asleep too. She's 2yo and it was hard going before but I now have a newborn who has screaming fits between about 5:30-7:30pm, so difficult to have a dragged out bedtime.

I just wanted to empathise with you OP because it's hard and I don't think there's a quick fix. I still have my 2.5 year old in a cot with sides on, as I don't think she'll ever stay in a bed!! (Or at least I'm not quite ready for it).

DextersMistress Sun 17-Jan-16 14:57:09

Yes, Ive been through much worse with ds1 (who has just started sleeping through age 5) I was just wondering why he was suddenly kicking off after 3 years of good bedtimes.

I'm staying with him for now, gradually moving further away from the bed as the night go on. Back to basics!

Kiwiinkits Fri 22-Jan-16 19:09:32

Sometimes if a child is very unsettled at bedtime or just after they go to sleep it's because they have pinworms. It's very very common in nursery or kindergarten aged kids. Check their bottom.

minipie Sat 23-Jan-16 14:40:29

Glad to have found this thread, we are having the start of the same battle with DD age 3.2 - similarly always been a bad sleeper but ok at bedtime till now.

Haahoo I might try that approach - though I suspect she'll just lie there and yell "when are you coming back" - worth a go though!

Definitely not worms, she often does her poos in a potty so I am rather over familiar with her poo!

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