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6 year old boy bad behaviour

(7 Posts)
Gimboid Fri 08-Jan-16 10:31:23

My 6 year old boy has a problem with controlling his anger and will periodically lash out/kick/hit me when he gets frustrated. He always gets immediately punished by being given a time out/sent to his room then a stern talking to. Besides this, he often causes a massive scene when getting ready for school, it doesn't help that his sister always does what she's asked (she's 2 years older). The problem is with rewards. I now have the problem where the treat I've bought them and was planning on giving them this weekend, I now feel I can't as he's not deserved it but why should his sister miss out (it's a wii for both of them to play on together at weekends). I'm starting to think a wii wasn't the best idea to improve behaviour but I've got some idealistic view that with the right rules, we can make it work and it'll be better for them than being hunched over the iPad (we have rules governing when they can use them and for how long etc which he abides by). Any advice?

TheHouseOnTheLane Fri 08-Jan-16 11:50:01

With children as young as 6 the punishment needs to be immediate or they find it difficult to cope. In a child that young's mind, if he's been bad on for eg. Wednesday but good all day Thursday...and is then told that he can't go swimming as usual on Thursday because he was bad on Wednesday...then he'll think "Why did I bother being good on Thursday?"

So given that there's been a gap....I would let them have it.

And tell him when the joy has subsided, that any hitting etc will result in a day's ban immediately.

Gimboid Fri 08-Jan-16 12:43:01

Thanks for the advice, you are totally right which is why the threat of no pocket money at the weekend just doesn't seem to ever work!

TheHouseOnTheLane Fri 08-Jan-16 14:12:01

That's why it needs to be something like no screen time that day. Or for a few hours anyway.

AlanPacino Sat 09-Jan-16 11:06:32

I think he needs quick immediate consequences. Short in duration. Taking him off for the whole day is less effective than a short burst of the loss of something immediate.

Believeitornot Sat 09-Jan-16 16:51:02

Yes to immediate consequences. So if he hits out walk away and say you don't want to be near someone who hits. Or send him out of the room. Tell him it is ok to be angry but he needs to use words to tell you. Repeat as infinitum.

If getting ready for school just take him in his pyjamas. (Bring spare uniform just in case)
My ds is 6 and gets angry. I have been working on his telling us he's angry (so I acknowledge it but tell him to tell us and he is getting better. He never really lashed out much as we were quick to deal with it).

I think boys have a testosterone surge at this age which makes things hard for them. Is his dad around?

Gimboid Sat 09-Jan-16 18:05:48

Yes his dad is around a lot and also is at his wits end when he gets bad. We've had our fun day today on the Wii and are officially the best parents ever right now but I've warned about homework tomorrow so we'll see what tomorrow brings. I'm loving the school in pyjamas idea, may try that on Monday!

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