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Worrying!!!!

(2 Posts)
rascalchops1 Thu 07-Jan-16 10:11:51

Have 6 yr old son. I had terrible PND and lack of support from partner. To cut a long story short, I had a nervous breakdown. I left and my partner, took care of our son very well and finally began to bond with him. I returned after 2 months. My son started going to a local child minder and became very close to her children. He is very good friends with her son. He is in the year below him at school. Before the child minder, he had no real interaction with kids, due to my struggling. He struggled to make friends at school in Yr1 and Reception but now the class has bonded together a bit more and he seems ok. He had a best friend, but after coming for tea they stopped being friends. Which upset me. I have struggled to talk to the other mums at school, although my partner chats away to them if he has the chance. I have slowly begun to chat to some parents here and there and will crack on with that this year. But worried they won't talk to me more as I have not spoken for 2 and 1/2 yrs!!! Although they like my partner. Worried about inviting kids for tea and being rejected. Worried that he doesn't have a best friend. He has lots of cousins, goes to the CM everyday during holidays and 3 days after school. Rugby on Sunday, where he has bonded very well with other kids. He is generally liked by people. I have Borderline Personlaity Disorder and had a miserable childhood so am particularly sensitive to my son being happy. I know I have to be careful about laying my own fears onto my son and try very hard to be a good mum. I just feel like I'm a c**p mum. That I never socialised enough with him etc. My partner is not the most supportive person but he is a good dad. I worry especially because he is an only child, my partner never wanted another child, which I always resented. Wish CM son was in the same class. Trying to improve but didn't realise being a mum was such hard bloody work. Just want reassurance regarding school really, feel a social outcast amongst mums and feel my son has suffered because of my problems.

BasicBanana Thu 07-Jan-16 10:24:39

You need to be kinder to yourself. Children don't need endless socialisation before they start school, jeez I am ancient enough that me and my peers pretty much all had SAHMs and maybe did a few afternoons of playschool six months before school.
Your boy sounds fab and it's so normal for friendships to change and playmates and dates to be variously wonderful and awful.
Your impact at the school gate is titchy, you aren't causing him any problems if you don't chat much. And I always want mine to have a best friend and see why you wish the childminders son was in the same class but really children mature into closer relationships and it's great for them to manage different friendships in different places, this will develop social skills.

Sounds like you need the support really, primary school kids have the social skills of drunk monkeys - there will be blips sometimes, not your fault.

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