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Daughter prefers mummy

(5 Posts)
Andy4tkd Sun 03-Jan-16 01:26:23

Hi everyone, this might read like a selfish discussion but it's not honestly.

I have two boys from a previous marriage, they adore their mum, and I don't do anything to stop that as she is their mum, I am the dad that left and they don't know why (she had an affair) but I always believe that children need their mummy. Right or wrong. Don't get me wrong my relationship with my boys is brilliant and I can't complain. I stayed single for a long time supporting the kids whilst they grew up. I met a girl 7 yrs ago and we have a little girl, I took the same philosophy that a child needs their mummy, and here's thing thing, again I feel left out, I love my partner very much but I want my little girl to at least acknowledge me, but because I have taken a step back and let my little girl to favour mummy I feel left out as she always asks for mummy, what you need to understand is that my partner became very protective over our daughter when she was born, and know matter how hard I tried she would not let me in formth first 12 months, so I let her take the lead. I have been there always changing nappies, feeding, getting up in the night etc, but when I see my partner feeling on the outside I always step back and let her take over. But now she is almost 4 and I don't get a cuddle or talks to me, it's always mummy and it's breaking my heart. I try very hard with her, take her the park, play centre, even do leaf kicking, sitting in the grass talking, but mummy always takes over..... Hope u get the gist, am not a selfish man and want a relationship with my daughter, how do I do this without upsetting my partner? Please don't think am being stupid or soft I just want a relationship with my daughter.

BooOzMoo Sun 03-Jan-16 01:45:13

I'm sure my DH struggles with this too.... Our DD is 4 but is totally mummy centric!!!! If it's not pink, fluffy or represents a girl it doesn't exist!
I think it will change !

DropYourSword Sun 03-Jan-16 01:52:17

Is it possible that your "letting her take the lead" stance (which you've explained well on here) may have been misinterpreted to "Daddy/Husband doesn't really care too much/try very hard and always defers to mum"?

UnderTheGreenwoodTree Sun 03-Jan-16 02:13:46

Just keep doing what you're doing, spend time with her, talk to her, she's only 4. My dd was like this, but at 7 she's now a right daddy's girl.

StrangeIdeas Mon 04-Jan-16 03:37:18

Just say to your daughter that Mummy needs a break\rest we are off to do whatever (park or dog walk or shop) and HAVE FUN . And tell mum to relax (no cleaning etc). It is your responsibility too. My DD hates pink apparently 😒

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