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3 year old son with developmental delay (development of an 18 month old)

(10 Posts)
jellybean321 Mon 21-Dec-15 16:46:27

I am looking for any help or advise with how now to help the development of my nearly 3 year old son (he is 2 years 10 months) . He was born 5 weeks prematurely and has always been behind ...crawling, walking, eating, talking etc.. he has had glue ear and as a result has speech delay. He has plenty to say and communicate but his pronunciation is very poor so is difficult to understand. We are now paying privately for speech and language to try and help with this as the nhs have little interest until he is 3. The speech and language therapist commented that his development is that of around 18 months . He has poor imaginative/pretend play skills but is showing some signs of improvement with this with adult support. This concerned me that it was a sign of autism and I approached this to the therapist but she wasn't concerned at present saying he enjoyed adult interactions, showed empathy and with support could take part in imaginative play at a simple level (related to house..washing, sleep, feeding, bathing etc..) when I looked on the milestones along with poor pretend play he also still refers to himself by his name, cant dress or undress himself, has poor concentration and when he gets excited (often) he finds it very difficult to calm himself down. He finds turn taking difficult. I guess I am looking for what why he may have developmental delay and if there is any underlying factors or concerns I should mention or try and chase up? Im not sure what really? The NHS said they will refer him to be assessed at 3 and before that they would should tell us to wait and see. Any advise would be helpful. Thanks

Buttercup27 Mon 21-Dec-15 16:56:23

We are in a similar position. DS is 3 .10 and is about the same level as ds2 who is just 2 ,but with much less language. He has been seeing a speech therapist for almost a year and is really trying hard to talk. He does has eyesight problems (long sighted) and since his glasses his speech has really improved.
I asked for him to be referred to a paediatrician for assessment for his development delay as I know he will not be able to access the curriculum when he starts school (I teach reception). It is quicker and easier to be referred by health visitor rather than waiting for a school referral.
The unknown is scary but any progress is good progress regardless of whether it is age related.
Have a look at the development matters document to see exactly where he is rather than guessing/relying on sppech therapist.

jellybean321 Mon 21-Dec-15 17:33:31

Thanks for replying where do I find this document please? Do u know any reasons for your child's delayed development?

Buttercup27 Mon 21-Dec-15 18:07:33

No, just one of those things I think.
If you ggle development matters , it should be easy to find. Most nurseries and reception teachers still use it even since the curriculum change.
It's helped me pin point exactly which areas he is delayed in , but has also shown me that in some areas such as physical development he's actually in track. Which was a nice to know that yes he was delayed, but not in all areas of development.
If you go through the document and highlight what he can do it helps . my DS is 8- 20 months in some areas, due to his speech but 30-50 months in physical.

Buttercup27 Mon 21-Dec-15 18:08:02

Pm me if you need any help with it.

jellybean321 Mon 21-Dec-15 19:02:42

Thanks I'll Google it and take s look x

hazeyjane Mon 21-Dec-15 19:17:16

Is your ds at nursery/preschool, jellybeans? They will do a development tracker sheet for your ds, and will share it with you. If he doesn't then he may be eligible for 2 year old funding - and if you can find a good preschool, then they should work with you and other professionals to support your ds and access any extra support he may need.

There are many reasons for developmental delay - neurological, as a result of prematurity, genetic (ie a genetic condition rather than familial) or it could be slower development, but within normal parameters and will get there a bit later than other children. As your ds has had delays in all areas I would be asking my gp for a referral to a developmental paediatrician (which can be done at any age - do not accept, 'we don't refer until 3')

Even if you do not get definitive answers as to 'why' (and sometimes there are no definitive answers) - you should be able to get support your ds needs.

jellybean321 Mon 21-Dec-15 20:50:00

Thanks hazeyjane he is with a childminder at the moment . thanks for advise I'll go back to ask for a referal as you say there are lots of reasons why I guess I just worry about his future but hope he catches up with the right input now x

jellybean321 Wed 23-Dec-15 08:08:13

My main concern at the moment is his lack of imaginative/pretend play. If he uses toy cars he piled or lines them up I instead despite us showing his lots of times. The same with his toy animals. The speech and language therapist has told us to start with basic play based around the home like out toy to bed and bath or feed toy which we are doing and with encouragement he does copy but first I worry how he hasn't managed to.pick up pretend play himself where many other children do and secondly being a boy doesthis kkind of pretend play interest him? I know girls do but he is happier eating me we with his dinosaur!! What experience do u all have of delayed pretend play with yr child and can it improve? Also are there other ways t play with a boisterous boy t encourage it? She says stick t home experiences for now. Thanks

bishboschone Sat 02-Jan-16 16:41:49

My son has gdd , we have been under paed and genetics since birth . You need to ask for a referral ASAP . my son was also prem and it's a red herring in my experience . They will fob you off telling you they will catch up etc. Be pushy , he will need an ehcp for school so you need the ball rolling.

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