Baby temperament - fed up with comments!(17 Posts)
This may well come back to bite me in the arse but - I'm a bit worried my nearly 13 week old baby is too easy! She sleeps well at night, feeds perfectly, and hardly ever cried. When she does, it's more of a whinge, and she is easily and immediately soothed with the boob or a cuddle.
She is alert, smiles beautifully, bats at toys above her on the play gym and gets excited when they move, and is just starting to hold her rattle. But everyone comments on how easy going she is, and says, "oh mine would never lie still/be quiet/be so good" - so many comments that now it's starting to freak me out. Is she weird?!
There is some worrying stuff on google about very placid babies and ASD and also lots of stuff about high needs babies being super intelligent - so is the opposite true for laid back babies?
I was wondering if anyone had a very easy baby and what sort of toddler/child they grew into?? Thank you!
Just enjoy your good fortune. My first slept really well, it was just luck, as I found out later.
My nephew (husband's son) was a really easy going baby and toddler, but mainly because he wasn't really given a chance to be difficult/struggle as his mom anticipated his every need. At school, however, he's now apparently a 'nightmare' (his teacher's words). He's still intelligent (tri-lingual), very sociable, but has been described as very lazy and stubborn.
My 2 DDs were easy babies but are much more difficult now DD1 is 4 and dd2 is nearly 3. They fight a lot and DD2 has many tantrums.
DS1 is also an easy baby so far, he is nearly 6 months.
Both my dc were just as you describe. Both have been challenging toddlers with ds2 (just 2) favourite words atm are no, not fair (in perfect context) and mine.
Enjoy while you can.
My niece is one of those children who was extremely placid as a baby- or seemed so -and is severely autistic. However, it was very different to just being content. She did not interact. She did not ask for things, make needs known, complain. It was quite clear from very young indeed that it was not a case of being content with her station in the world but that she was barely aware the world existed. So no sociable smiles, no batting at toys. Think more only smiling and laughing inappropriately and occasionally, eyeing toys from the corner of her eye and only one very small part of the toy, every single time as an obsession.
I suppose what I am trying to say is that having seen an extremely "placid" baby who turned out to be on the spectrum, it was a much more atypical behaviour than you might imagine. It wasn't that she was happy, it was that she wasn't engaging at all.
Does that make sense?
Your baby just sounds naturally laid back. My friend has a ds who was exactly the same. Just so chilled out. He is 17 now and exactly the same.
I have had one high needs and 1 placid. when the HN one was small I used to cling on to the myth that they tend to be super intelligent and all these placid babies just become cogs in the system.
Unfortunately the truth was she had ADHD and dyscalculia and isn't academic at all. Quite creative but doesn't have the attention span or patience to see anything through. The placid one is only 3, but has hit all her milestones on time or well ahead. Her speech has always been miles ahead of her sister. Obviously this is totally anecdotal, but no, just because they are an easy baby doesn't mean they will be dim at all, it's just to make the HN parents feel it's worth it. It's bloody tough with a HN one.
Enjoy your baby, they won't necessarily be easy forever. My friends extremely placid baby has turned into a very HN toddler.
Thanks so much everyone, that's so helpful. Originally I was really happy she was so easy, but after so many comments about her, it started to make me wonder if everything was ok!
I think if you don't have a laid back baby they can seem a myth so when you see one you have to comment!
Dd1 was a steep learning curve and l never knew if l just wasn't doing things right but she really was ok as far as baby's go. Dd2 though is so easy (touch wood! She's only 12 weeks and things change quickly ) that l can't believe you might actually be able to refer to their early days as easy enough
I've had the same experience as threelittlerapscalli
Also had a very placid baby. Who became a very rumbunctious and cheeky toddler. And is now a lovely (though lively) 11 year old.
My ds was a very easy baby and he's now a little sod of a toddler. Don't worry there's plenty of time for her to run you ragged!
DD was a high needs baby and then toddler but is showing no signs of great intelligence.
DS was a super laid back baby. Good sleeper, content with everyone, smiley, just easy. I thought he would be a horror toddler but so far (15mo) he is fine - very cuddly, happy to stay with other people, interacts with other children, no tantrums so far ( it's early days I know!).
Your baby sound perfectly fine! Some babies are just easy. I am so glad I had DD first otherwise it would have been even more of a shock had DS lulled me into a false sense of security first.
Your baby sounds lovely! Enjoy and try not to worry. People project all sorts of stuff. If you get to four without some heinous tantrums I'd be surprised (but if you do, then enjoy that too)
My ds was a very chilled baby and I thought dd was too until she got to 7 months. Now she's been ill and can't crawl yet at 10 months so it feels like all she does is cry. Doesn't mean your baby will always be laid back. They can change overnight. I ve learnt this the hard way after congratulating myself on having two easy babies.
Make the most of it! My DDs were high maintenance from birth but my DS was born chilled and has stayed that way. They're all amazing adults now.
Thanks again to everyone who helped me, after another day at the office where everyone said how amazingly good she is and how theirs would never have behaved like that, it really helped!!
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