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3 year old extreme tantrums

(3 Posts)
LovelyWeatherForDucks Thu 10-Dec-15 06:10:55

Need some advice on dealing with 3 yr old DS. His tantrums can get very out of control and I don't know how to manage them.

Example 1: Gets cross in the car because of something toddler-y - eg not allowed a stick in the car after a walk, didn't see train on level crossing. Get home and he refuses to get out of car (wants to go back for stick / train etc). Also have baby in car, so have to physically bring him inside. Rage increases because of this and he tries to get out of front door (I lock it). I ignore and feed baby / prepare meal or whatever. He flings himself at me pushing me, or sometimes scratching or hitting. Therefore immediately punishable offences. Carry him up to his room and shut him in for 2 mins. He fights to get out. After 2 mins given chance to apologise. Continues raging. Shut back in room. I regularly ask if he is ready to calm down, have a cuddle and apologise. Eventually says yes.

Example 2 (in progress!): Woke at 5.15 (has gro clock set to 6) crying for mummy. Went into his room to tell him to go back to bed / play til his sun came up.  He threw himself on the floor shouting to make his sun come up. I sat on floor and ignored. Baby woke up so got DH to come in and deal with him. He flies into an absolute rage at this, barrelling like a ball of rage into my bedroom, hitting scratching and lashing at DH when he takes him out and downstairs. Screaming and raging continues, he fights to go upstairs, scratching and hitting at DH. It's 5 past 6 and still continuing. He is screaming with absolute force and shaking with rage. If ignored he chases after us scratching, pulling, hitting and there is nowhere we can put him unless we hold a door shut. We don't really know how to handle this.

So, my problem is overcoming the initial subject of his anger (though he is tantrumming and angry it's not for something I can punish) and dealing with the rages. If I ignore - restrain he is likely to hurt me. If I put him somewhere, he won't stay put, I have nowhere I can safely leave him. 

Incidents like the one above happen once a week or so. 

Ideas please!

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant Thu 10-Dec-15 10:23:07

If you have space, get a playpen.

When he tantrums, pop him in there. He can shout safely and stay put.

Then try talking with when he calms down.

SolsburyHell Thu 10-Dec-15 10:28:09

I can't help as such but my 4 year old can be the same though less frequent now, I'm hoping he's growing out of it. I actually think you sound like you're dealing with them well. Consistency is important. It's also difficult when you've got a younger child that you're trying to deal with at the same time.

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