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Behaviour/development

2.5 year olds behaviour around others

4 replies

GothicRainbow · 07/12/2015 15:12

I'm just wondering if anyone else finds their toddlers behaviour gets worse when their DH/DP is around?

I've even started to notice it's happening with other family members like grandparents too.

When it's just me and DS he's a delight, super chilled, well behaved and happy to play. With my DH or any other family around he's fussy, defiant, whiney, prone to tantrums and stops using his words. It's incredibly frustrating for me as they don't get to see the lovely boy I have around me most of the time.

Oddly enough he doesn't behave like this when around my friends and their kids.

Does anyone have any tips on how I can go about dealing with this? Or would you say it's just a phase and if I ride it out things will improve with age??

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minipie · 07/12/2015 21:02

With DD I sometimes get this if she thinks she's getting handed over to DH/grandparent rather than getting attention from me (which is what she really wants, all the time). She acts up basically so that I will intervene and pay her attention.

Any chance this is what is happening?

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GothicRainbow · 07/12/2015 23:13

You could well be right as I try and catch up on housework at weekends so my husband takes on the bulk of the toddler wrangling.

But then again whenever I do try and get involved with DS I get told 'No Mummy, Daddy do it!!' Usually in a massively whiney/tantrumy way. This can range from cuddles and playing to things like nappy changes or getting him dressed.

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DetonationStation · 08/12/2015 07:27

YES!!! I have no idea how to deal with it either. DD is generally fine with me and happy to play alone once I've spent a bit of time with her or met whatever needs she has. When DP is around, she spends the whole time whingeing and screaming. Wants him to carry her all the time or sit on his knee and pick at his breakfast as he eats (can you tell who is the permissive parent here :-/ ) He is definitely her favourite and its like I don't exist when he is home (which I totally take full advantage of!!). I can't really understand it, the best I can come up with is that he is at work and out two nights a week and I am SAHP currently, , so she is trying to get as much as she can of him. But doesn't explain the whining etc.

That said, she has just been an absolute monster today, screaming and tantrumming all over the show as soon as we walk in the house, but perfect angel out at play facility.
I'm hoping its all a stage. A very short stage.

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GothicRainbow · 08/12/2015 07:44

Sorry that you're experiencing it too Detonation but good to know I'm not alone in this!!

My DH is also the less strict 'more fun' parent and struggles with discipline, it's just not in his nature and I've accepted this.

I am also a SAHM so maybe it is the novelty value of DH/ other adults. You'd think it would mean a happy bouncy DS rather than a miserable whiney one!! The logic of toddlers, got to wonder at it.