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Is this all normal?

(2 Posts)
HumberLass Wed 02-Dec-15 19:43:57

Hello, i'm new here, I thought i'd come for some advice as i'm feeling a bit lost. My Son is 4, 5 at the end of Summer and started school in Sept. Before starting school I thought my son was pretty advanced with his development but since starting and seeing what the other kids are up to I now feel like a terrible parent because he seems so behind. My son doesn't like to dress himself and when I encourage him to do so he gets angry and it ends up in meltdown, school mentioned he ought to be dressing himself by now. Also, my little boy can't write yet, he struggles to hold a pen and again gets frustrated and angry when we try to encourage drawing and writing. After school I ask my son how his day was, who he played with, if he had fun, enjoyed his dinner etc and every day I get 'don't want to tell you' and tells me he doesn't have any friends - I mentioned this to school and they said he 'plays alongside' the other children.

At home we are getting a lot of temper tantrums and he keeps telling my partner - who is his adoptive father (his bio dad left us at birth) he doesn't like him, repeatedly. The only reason I can think is that my partner is more firm than me about the tantrums/throwing/kicking/hitting and plays the 'bad cop' role more frequently than I do. I'm finding this all really hard and trying to remember to stay calm, tell my son all the things he's good at, encourage and praise him and ignore the 'bad' behaviour, but i'm feeling like i've failed him somehow. I often try to talk to my little boy and ask him how he's feeling and a lot of the time he's happy, dancing, singing and being an absolute joy but he's very rude to strangers or family members we don't see often, telling them 'I don't like you'. I would so appreciate some support and advice from other mums because I honestly don't know i'm i'm doing everything right. Sorry for the essay.

MotiSen Wed 02-Dec-15 23:42:18

It sounds like he's just an outlier. It doesn't sound like it is anything you've done. Some kids are just different. Thank god. Einstein was different. True, it will be more difficult for you, and for him to an extent. But, it sounds like that's who he is. Sounds, you know, lovable.

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