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Behaviour/development

Tips for getting toddler to listen

10 replies

purpleme12 · 19/11/2015 22:16

Hi does anyone have any tips for getting toddler to listen/follow instructions/ do what they're told?

She's 2 years and a month. I'm guessing she's pretty normal really for a toddler (don't know many toddlers). I think I try to do the things they tell you to do but it can get very frustrating sometimes and I just wondered if anyone had any tips that I hadn't heard of or anything.

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PalcumTowder · 19/11/2015 22:44

Mine is 2 years and 3 months, I find giving him a choice really works. So if I want him to let me brush his teeth "do you want pink toothpaste or white toothpaste?" Stuff like that.

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PalcumTowder · 19/11/2015 22:44

Oh and sticker charts. Cannot recommend stickers enough!

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purpleme12 · 19/11/2015 22:49

I might try the stickers more. What do you do? do you do it like she gets so many stickers and then a treat? What kind of things do you give stickers for?

One of the things I try is when we've got dressed you can watch tele (for example) and she loves tele but she still messes and will lose attention halfway through me getting her dressed etc etc and kick her legs so it's hard for me to get her dressed so I don't think it really works but then I think she might still be just too young for that reasoning yet?

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Ferguson · 19/11/2015 22:56

Probably the best way is to let HER set as much of her 'agenda' as you can conveniently manage, so that she doesn't have to listen to many instructions. Again, this may not be very practicable for you, but try and keep her busy and 'engaged' in activities, so she doesn't get bored. Talk to her as much as possible, and even if she is watching TV share it with her, talk about the programme; ask for her opinion, and try not to dictate too many rules and regulations.

Some people might feel this is a recipe for 'anarchy', but if you can remove possible areas of conflict before they occur it may make for harmony. When it is time to pack away toys, or get ready for bed, give adequate prior-warning so she has time to get used to the idea.

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purpleme12 · 19/11/2015 23:58

Thank you i'll try do this as much as I can too. I do go outside a lot of the times when she wants to already and try to give warning too. I don't know maybe I'm just not used to toddlers strong wills or maybe it's just her lol

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ColdTeaAgain · 20/11/2015 00:13

Biscuits.

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purpleme12 · 21/11/2015 10:00

Tried saying she'll get sticker after she gets dressed yesterday she still messed around getting dressed although she said yes to a sticker. After getting dressed she went to where the stickers were wanting one so she clearly wanted one. Today she messed around even more getting dressed, leaving her doesn't make a difference I gave her choices but she just doesn't want to get dressed in the end I had to force her and obviously she cries and protests. I feel like if she doesn't want to do something she just won't do it!

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CakeRattleandRoll · 23/11/2015 09:18

Hmmm. Does she actually have to get dressed when you get her dressed? With DS, I would wait until we were nearly due to go out and then say I was going without him if he didn't get dressed quickly. I had to follow through once or twice as far as closing the front door/starting the car engine, but generally works well.

We do choices a lot too. It gives them some sense of control/power over their lives. I think a lot of the 'disobedience' and/or tantrums comes from not feeling like they have any control.

Also get down to their level/height when you want them to listen, and obviously turn off TV or get between child and TV.

We started using a sticker chart with DS when he was 3. He gets a sticker for eating his dinner properly, trying new foods, brushing his teeth well, being quiet when his baby sister is napping, and being good at the shops. These were areas we wanted to improve and things that he could do if he put his mind to it. I think 5-6 things is enough - keeps things clear and simple. When he reaches 20 stickers, he gets a 'present' e.g. matchbox car, book, Thomas train.

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Eminado · 23/11/2015 09:22

OMG it's like you are posting about
My child!

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purpleme12 · 23/11/2015 21:54

I tried to give her a choice of what to wear on sunday which I really thought would work as she likes to pick her pyjamas now but it didn't she just said no to both. It's like with the sticker and tele which I know she loves especially tele but saying she can watch it when we get dressed doesn't mean she'll get dressed! I'm thinking it might just be persevering and using a mixture of them all and also count to 123 which works sometimes but I didn't want to do it all the time.... I'm hoping she'll learn to listen ............?!